little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

things that never happen in the 1000100-acre woods

Earlier tonight: instant messaging with my buddy, Chris.

Chris: did i ever tell you my middle name?
Ernie: no
Chris: its horrible
Ernie: okay, spill it
Chris: robin
Chris: CHRISTOPHER ROBIN
Ernie: WOW THAT IS BAD
Ernie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Chris: AARRRGGHHHHHHHH *POKES OUT OWN EYE*
Ernie: oh my god
Chris: yeah its bad
Chris: and my last name fits perfectly
Chris: TORRES
Chris: WTF?!?!?!?
Chris: my mother secretly hates me
Ernie: [...]

world record holder of the 1,773 person dodge: me

Today, I participated in the Guinness World Record for World’s Largest Group Yodel, an obvious publicity stunt to increase our company brand to a well-known, international book that doesn’t otherwise take advertising space.
On the other hand, I got a free t-shirt out of it, so you’ll hear no complaints from me. Besides, I got [...]

stealing the thunder

(The scene: In a car on way to a small birthday get-together with Mike, the roommate Paris and Jen.)
Jen: So how’s work?
Ernie: Work is pretty good. Hey, if you got some free time, you should come down to Yahoo! on Wednesday. They’re trying to get a big group of people [...]

things i have learned about myself, now that i turn 27 in 3 days

Last year I was a total drama queen. This year will be no different. You’ve been warned.

I find myself feeling angry more often. In normal households, that would be a usual emotion, like elation or apathy. In the Hsiung family household, “angry” means “convince yourself that the skizophrenic voices in your [...]

battle of the asian chick news reporters

Even though Asian Americans make up an important percentage of the San Francisco Bay Area, our presence is still not prominately seen in the media. The one exception: news reporters, especially the noticable amount of female Asian American news anchors. Whether they like it or not, Asian news anchors become celebrities of [...]

things i have learned about attending a ghetto-fabulous urban, gay, over-18 halloween party

Whenever hip-hop is played, a crowd full of lesbians will run up to the DJ booth. Especially if it’s Lil Jon and The Eastside Boyz.

Ditto with Christina Aguilera’s “Dirty” and gay boys. Gay boys will actually go one step further and do an on-the-spot synchronized dance routine, not unlike that high school prom [...]