little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

airbags. deployed.

I went to lunch with my friend Don today, partly to catch up on stuff and as a way to show off his new car, the Toyota Prius. It’s one of those half-gas, half electricity hybrid vehicles and he spent a little extra to show off his cool accessory, his GPS navigation system.

Ernie: Ooooh, it’s like I’m on a spaceship!
Don: Yeah, it works great! It’ll also tell us the location of the nearest restaurant. Check this out: “I’M HUNGRY.”
GPS Computer: (in female voice) “I’m sorry. I don’t recognize that command.”
Don: “I’M. HUNGRY.”
GPS: “Finding. Nearest. Golf Course.”
Don: No, no, no! “I’M! HUNGRY!!”
GPS: “Finding. Nearest. Restaurants.” (150 icons show up on the screen.)

After deciding that we want to go to Hobbee’s for lunch, Don scrolls through about 8 pages of restaurant choices and presses the touch screen.

GPS: “Destination. Found. Make left. In. 3 miles.”
Ernie: Oooooh.

(20 minutes pass.)

GPS: “Make a. Right. At the. Next street. Destination arrived.”
Ernie: Uhm, Don? We’re in a housing project.
Don: Don’t worry, I know where Hobbees is. We’ll just go from memory.
Ernie: Wait… you knew where the restaurant was? Why didn’t we just drive instead of using the GPS?
Don: *dirty look* Because this is cooler.
Ernie: Oh look, seagulls!

So we finally arrive to the restaurant. The restaurant, of course, is a five minute drive from Yahoo!.

It’s also, of course, closed for construction. I can’t complain though, the GPS as a whole is a good idea, and a lot worse things could happen with the onboard computer.

Don: “I’M. HUNGRY.”
GPS: “Deploying. Airbags.”
(car swerves and drives off a cliff a la “Thelma and Louise”)

lol Priceless.

My neighbor once told me about her experience with a GPS system. The guy she was dating at the time had one. They were going away for a weekend, and had to take a detour at one point because of road construction.

The voice went berserk as soon as they left the preplanned route. It kept saying, “Turn left immediately!” and so forth until they made it around the detour and back onto the road. They immediately dubbed it “the Nazi Bitch” (he had a Mercedes-Benz).

Don: “I’M. HUNGRY.”
GPS: “Commencing. Castration”

As Ellen Ripley said in Alien…”Mother… I’m turning the cooling units back on! Mother!!! YOU BITCH!”

I think Ellen Ripley would be a good name for a GPS system.

I miss Hobee’s. Now I want coffeecake.

Damn you, Ernie!

When you mentioned a car driving off a cliff, the first thing that came to my mind was Toonces the Driving Cat.

You’re too much. Well, _my_ GPS has guided me quite nicely, thank you. It’s already been on a couple of long road trips, and it’s great.

Of course, your experience is far more amusing!

Yeah, my mom’s GPS *freaks out* if you don’t turn where you’re supposed to.

And DAMN I want some Hobee’s coffeecake, too!

what is this Hobee’s coffecake?
(says the man from SoCal)

“I would not turn right Dave…”

Northern California is to Hobee’s coffeecake as Southern California is to In-N-Out hamuburgers….but don’t tell anyone! Its our little secret.

Ernie left out how I called my mom for the Nth time to demonstrate the Bluetooth capability of the Prius only to have her repeatedly call him “Eddie”. Tee hee!

“Open The Pod Bay Door Hal”. Don’t open the door Ernie. No, no, Not the door”.

Damn, that was funny.

Ah, doncha just love silicon valley - Hobbee’s AND In-N-Out Burger!

But closed for reconstruction! Not the one at Rengstorff and Central? Guess I need to get out more.

I just bought a Prius myself, with said navigation system. It’ll get you there, but you should be prepared to go on an adventure. Through the worst part of town.

You should get your friend to say “ETHOPIA” to the voice command system. It sets the temperature to 85 degrees, and does it a lot more consistently than any of the real voice commands.

haha, you have some amusing experiences.

What if one came up with the exact syntax and tone that hooked one’s onboard computer up with the new electronic voting machines?:

You: I’m Hungry
GPS: Reelecting. Bush.

Oh God! Let’s hope not Huntington!
Eddie, thanks for making me laugh on such a crappy day.

That was hilarious, Ernie. I haven’t had a lot of luck with voice response myself. Like not being able to get it to understand the word “no”.

Kinda like this guy I used to sleep with.

with my luck i would end up with my mother for a GPS.

“IM HUNGRY”

“See. I told you that you should have had something to eat before we left the house. You are so thick. Now you’ll just have to suffer.

HOBEES? You want me to take you to Hobees? The place with the tiny parking stalls that gave me the door ding? And you know hobees always makes you gassy. “

hahaha… stupid GPS system.

i’m afraid of GPS. it almost got me in an accident on an LA freeway. the sucker booted and i had to re-enter my destination. i was almost killed. well, uuh, i probably should have pulled over, but, uuh, ya know… hurry, hurry.

Seagulls.
huh-huh.

OMG!!! I can’t stop laughing… from one funny entry on a friend’s site to another funny entry on a stranger’s site, I think I’m gonna bust a gut here!!

Nice site too btw, your layout is excellent.

You’re an inspiration to us all.

ernie, you’re such a goof. quite the man on ddr! haha. hope you’re well! happy holidays. ~cis

p.s. absolutely love your journal. brilliant!

We would put ourselves in the most ackward situations if that were to mean we are cool.

Wait, we do (what is blogging, if not?).

Ernie, yo are da writa!

Szczesliwego Nowego Roku!!!

freakin’ funny…technology is great when it works…