All Hail Min Jung, Queen
All Hail Min Jung, Queen of the Hot Tub
(Okay, this post is completely exaggerated. It’s funnier that way. The scene: MJ, Bill and Annie’s joint birthday party last Saturday night.)
MJ: Ernie! ERNIE! Come into the bathroom, NOW!
Ernie: Eh, huh? What?
(MJ is sitting in a hot tub that seats two, with around four other people. There is more alcohol in the bathroom that the backroom of a 7-11.)
MJ: I, Min Jung Kim, freelance writer, marketeer and fabulous Korean diva, request — no, demand — that you, Ernest Hsiung, join me in this hot tub.
Ernie: Oh. Uhmm… I don’t have a swimsuit.
MJ: I don’t care. Just wear your underwear.
Ernie: (Winces at the thought of taking his shirt off in public.) Oh MJ, I would really love to, but I hate the feeling of wet underw—
MJ: I DON’T CARE YOU MUST JOIN ME NOW IT’S MY BIRTHDAY I DEMAND YOU
Ernie: I can’t… uhmm… I have to, uhmm, drive my friends home. They’re getting tired.
(MJ rises from the hot tub, walks over to the doorway in her blue bikini and motions to my friends.) “You guys don’t care if Ernie strips down to his boxers and jumps into a hot tub half naked with the fabulous Min Jung, right?”
My friends: “Oooooh. Hot… Asian girl… in bikini…”
MJ: HA! I win, you lose! (MJ grabs Ernie’s arm) OFF WITH YOUR SHIRT! PUSH HIM IN THE TUB, BILL!(Bill is standing behind me and has been observing this conversation all this time.)
Ernie: <gay telepathy>Bill, if you help me out of this situation I will pay for every drink and dinner you have for the next six months.</gay telepathy>
Bill: <gay telepathy>I want my laundry done as well.</gay telepathy>
Ernie: What am I, the Wong Brothers laundromat?
Bill: Have a nice bath, then.
Ernie: Fine, I’ll do your laundry! Jeezus.
Bill: Heh. Hey MJ, I gotta talk to Ernie. (Turns to Ernie) You owe me.
Yeah Bill, I do.
