A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

Dear Mister Combs,

I, as one of the thousands of fans in your “Bad Boy Family&#153,” was particularly interested to hear that you are plan to be running in the New York City Marathon. And, as a general enthusiast for your music producing, fashion and restaurant expertise I have a couple of… shall we say, passionate, comments.

  1. You know it’s a marathon, right? Like, 26 miles? This ain’t no video shoot where you’re all, run for twenty seconds and the directors are gonna be yellin’ “cut” and then you go in your trailer to smoke some weed typa shit. You’re gonna be sweatin’ on them Sean Johns.
  2. There ain’t gonna be no posse to running in the marathon with you. Sides, if they gotta register in the marathon, they gotta register, and you know them broke asses gonna make you pay for that shit, like the time you had to bail their asses for “that night” with the “disagreement” at that club, or when you bought that Roller for your ex-girlfriend. (Though between you and me, I know you were all, “Yeah, that’s right. Crazy ho.”)
  3. No, seriously, no posse. You’re gonna have to carry your own boombox that plays David Bowie samples instead of someone else. Besides, you know there ain’t no sports bra sturdy enough for Lil’ Kim, oh-kaay?

Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. Or your posse. Whatever.

Sincerely, Ernie

§1417 · September 30, 2003 · Uncategorized · · [Print]

35 Comments to “an open letter to sean “p. diddy” combs”

  1. Sherri says:

    Do you think a potential “run by shooting” could actually happen?

  2. Naladahc says:

    He’ll be starting next to Boy George.

  3. where will he hide the 9MM in a pair of running shorts?

  4. Donny O says:

    Maybe he doesn’t smoke?

  5. mikebiggz says:

    Damn E-Diddy

    “We-ain’t, go-in’ no-where, we can’t be stopped now, cuz I’m bit-ter for life”

    Did you get a weak free mocha today?
    At least he’s doing it for good causes and not to prove bad boy can’t be stopped even in a marathon.
    I hope he donates a c-note for every minute it takes him to run 26 miles, that would be major loot.

  6. Brendyn says:

    yeah…this should be fun to watch. run with him :{

  7. monkeyinabox says:

    I guess the Subway food wasn’t helping him enough.

  8. Orbicon says:

    Ernie! If Lil Kim is reading this, she’s gonna get all ghetto on your ass. Gasp. Great. Another East Coast/West Coast confrontation. WHEN WILL IT END?!

  9. kitta says:

    He’s going to get one of those little golf cars and pimp it up PDiddy style. One press of the horn and his newest single will blast out of the boombox.

  10. P.Diddy says:

    Yo, it’s cool, I just gotta remember to stretch beforehand. Oh, and to get someone else to run it for me, yo.

  11. êddiê says:

    if he runs to long. he might change his name.

  12. Christine says:

    terrific letter!

  13. Jerry says:

    He’ll probably just run the first mile and then loop it 25 times.

  14. Raven says:

    In the immortal words of Conan O’Brien “It just takes all the threat away when you call someone a bad boy”

  15. Jenkins says:

    He better hope that J Lo doesn’t enter the race. She may leave him in the dust again!

  16. Colin Palmer says:

    Thanks for the laugh! No sports bra… :)

  17. diddy daddy says:

    i’ve never liked the gangster fool p diddy, combs, whatever. people who subscribe to a culture of violence should be jailed.

  18. Media Whore says:

    I’m hoping he runs the marathon wearing one of his furs.

  19. sean says:

    Seems like there is this undercurrent of intense dislike for PDC – reviled rap tycoon of the month, per chance?

    [Still waiting for the Sigfried & Roy jokes, actually...]

  20. Erma says:

    What’s next for P. Diddy daddy sean combs whatshisname now?

  21. Owen says:

    Great letter! Have you got a response yet :)

  22. Miss Sonya says:

    well I think you are doing something good, and I will continue praying for you that god gives you all the energy and strength to fulfill your goal. I am older then you, but I see something great in you and only god can bring you to it. so keep up the good work and maybe one day I will get to meet you. God bless, and remember if don’t no one feel you, god do and he has your back. Love you forever.

  23. naeiri says:

    the fuck is miss sonya talking about

  24. DeMarcus Homer says:

    I think its good what you doin for the kids
    im a teen(13).I seen what you was going through blisters having to go to the doctor
    and stuff like that.

    ALRIGHT THEN

    AS YOU WOULD SAY BAD BOY BABY!

  25. Igor says:

    Hey guy! Just respect to you for what you are doing! And for you know exactly the idea what u r talking about!

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  30. Ben says:

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  31. Emmy says:

    You’re right

  32. Columbo says:

    my congratulations!

  33. Andy says:

    I’ll be back….

  34. jakey c says:

    ure all fukin loosers, so what if the guy is famous, it dusnt mean he wants to run the marathon jus for fukin media attention, seriously the guy realises what a fukin marathon is ffs!!! omg can you not realise that he might actually be doing it for a good cause! go get a fukin life u gay fukin noobs