little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

Bug #139008: Peasant shirt doesn’t go with capri pants

Seriously, there is still no furniture in my house.

So where was I? Oh yeah. My formerly “secret” project. But first, a disclaimer: If this was a tech blog, I would be writing about Javascript to Flash methods, discussing reasons why cross-browser functionality became such an issue throughout the process, the challenges of editing code originally written overseas in a language I don’t understand.

But this isn’t a tech blog, and you don’t expect this to be a tech blog. You expect once-a-month wacky posts about how I fall off a flight a stairs, or wacky antedotes from my mother, with Mandarin in italics. I’m just a monkey that dances for you while you take your coffee breaks. So no technical questions in the comments, please. Besides, it’s a beta product and, officially, I am not the web developer on this project anymore.

That being said… Yahoo! Avatars. Yeah, that was a crazy project, and I wouldn’t mind if I never had to look at a picture of a Jennifer Aniston haircut ever again. But I had just come off of another project redesign, so hey, why not? Avatars isn’t something that MSN Messenger or AOL IM has, so working on something original and cool would be fun. Also, I imagined filing the coolest bugs ever. Bug #139008: Peasant shirt totally doesn’t go with capri pants.

Engineering lead: We don’t have a lot of time to finish this project. It’s a good thing another country has implement an avatar system already.
Ernie: (looks through code) Uhm, this is a lot of code. And these javascript comments are in Korean.
Engineer: But aren’t -
Ernie: …I’m Chinese.
Engineer: Oh. This project is still due next Tuesday.
Ernie’s natural sleeping rhythms: I quit.
Ernie’s sanity: Me too. Fuck this.

Eventually, I completed a rough prototype and gave a presentation to some other web developers. They took the presentation well, I think.

(The scene: A bunch of web developers in a conference room. I have my laptop with the Avatars website connected to a giant projection screen, except with more third-party conceptual avatar assets. In other words, we used a test avatar.)

Ernie: …so remote scripting was used, as well as some Javascript to Flash methods. This was an attempt to emulate the…
Web Developer #7: Uhm.
Ernie: Huh? What’s wrong?
WebDev #7: That chick you’re putting clothes on has cameltoe.
Ernie: What? What are you talking about? No she doesn’t.
WebDev #8: No, I think she’s right. [turns on laser pointing device, points it to the crotch area]
Everyone in room: EEEEEEEEEW!!
WebDev #9: By the way, you know this won’t work in Safari, right?

So the graphics were changed. From yesterdays post, I noticed some comments that the male avatars looked a little too much like 12 year old boys. You should have seen the first batch.

(The scene: Back in my cubicle. 7 guys are crowded around my computer, eagerly awaiting what the initial avatar drawings would look like.)

Ernie: So, I choose “male” for my avatar gender, press the “Create my Avatar” button, and…
All: …
Guy #1: Oh my god, is he wearing daisy dukes?
Guy #2: …and a wifebeater. The caesar haircut and the pouting aren’t helping, either.
Guy #3: Uhm… these avatars look pretty…
Ernie: Homosexual?
All: Yep.
Guy #1: Ohmygod, is he pouting? What, did he not get asked to the gay prom?
Graphic designer sitting across from me: All he needs is a handlebar mustache and a motorcycle and he’s ready to go to the Eagle!

So the graphics were changed again, and the site you see is more or less the product of my labor. And there are definately some issues with the website, but, hell, that’s why it’s called a beta. As to what I’m doing now, I’ve been put on yet another top secret project - just as interesting, but more difficult to make capri pant references to. I’ll work on it.

It doesn’t work on MacOS 9.01, IE 5.0.01.1009.30112.xyz.666 either. Make it work! NOW!

Needs more hot pants!

And cowbell too.

well they say every artist puts a little of themselves into their work…

LOOK! A CAMELTOE! GRAB IT! LICK IT! RUB IT! SUCK IT! WELL IT!

“You expect once-a-month wacky posts about how I fall off a flight a stairs, or wacky antedotes from my mother, with Mandarin in italics”.

ONCE A MONTH?! Fuck, Ernie. Seriously.

Agreeing with Stacy… We definitely need a ‘wacky post about either Mom or falling down stairs’ waaaaaaay more often than once a month!!!

How else will I maintain relatively stable mental health???

(I SAID RELATIVELY STABLE - NOT COMPLETELY SANE!!!)

Good work on the avatars Ernie.
You know, an easy way to get your house furnished is to act straight and get the queer eye guys to come over. They’ll do everything for you, all you do is shave wrong and they won’t notice a thing. You will have to prepare a very complicated meal though.

Am I just missing the option to add glasses?

Awesome. If I were more emo, I’d totally look like the guy I just made. Well, more emo and a little less bony. But that’s part of being emo, after all.

Ergghh these jeans make my thighs look fat Ernie!
Ahem I digress. I agree more monkey dancing is required, it reminds me I am not alone in my efforts to co-exist with my overbearing chinese and in my case samoan relatives!

This is way exciting - I happened on the avatar site by chance earlier today. Unfortunately, I’m using Safari, so I’m screwed. But what I could see looked super cool.

I personally like the options “More Tops” and “More Bottoms”.

The new Messenger might take me away from AIM for a while, but the avatars are just like any other website when they first introduce them: missing a lot of options. I need facial hair like I have in real life. My avatar just looks like he has a patch of pubic hair beneath his lip.

My Mexican bf of 5 years still forgets that I don’t understand Japanese or Korean, because I’m Chinese! He just doesn’t understand there’s a difference… Makes me wonder why I’m still with him sometimes…

The girl-ones were all so weird-looking that I had to make mine a boy. His hair’s a little shorter than mine, but the hipster clothing increases the resemblance tenfold.

I can’t believe companies spend money to create this kind of banal crap.

hi ernie. foosball was fun. lil sis loves you! the pic of you two is super cute.
next time, man…we’ll squash you two bugs!

Facial hair would be a definite plus, as would glasses. Other than that, it’s great!

once a month is totally gonna get you knocked down a notch or two in my blogroll.

Congrats on the public beta, Ernie!! Yay!

So when do we get to see Ernie’s avatar? Hmm?

I’m still waiting for your entry about falling down some stairs this month. Don’t let me down!

I’m still waiting for your entry about falling down some stairs this month. Don’t let me down!

I’m still waiting for your entry about falling down some stairs this month. Don’t let me down!

You know, Ernie, a man with your talents could be taught to read Korean in a heartbeat. A lot of it is just Chinese in disguise…

You’d have to like phonetics though.

You know what they say about opinions and a-holes…go with what you do best.

hi ernie,
I’ve been here several times, but this is my 1st comment.=)
I’m a Chinese and still learning English, and I have to use a dictionary to read blogs sometimes.
Anyway, just say “hi” here, BTW, nice site!

=)

hello there, i just wandered by your nifty blog. i like the avatar site a lot - more accessories, please! since yahoo chat seems to be the IM app of choice for gay.com members, maybe a selection of posing thongs would be useful. true story: i sent the URL to my boyfriend, and after playing around with it, he said, “did a gay guy invent this?” ha ha! anyway, rock on. matt.

Hey, Ernie, did you know the page just falls apart if I have a minimum font size set in Mozilla? Stuff prints over other stuff, print runs off the background, like that. That said, the avatars on the entry page are really good-looking!

Got mi avatar, then told my friend in Madrid to get hers done, beta downloaded, and… she srieks in block letters YOU’RE WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES AS I AM!!!!! -it had been happening all the time when we were both studying in Barcelona!!!

Proves it represents us

corsets would be a great option also make tattoos their own option rather than part of some wanabe out fit. and some s&m gear would be a plus. and better backgrounds make the club more modern (disco is dead) one more thing make it possible for each wardrobe to be independant of gender so the guy can try on the girl stuff and vice versa. this would be more acurate not to mention open minded.