Hey, Ev! Do you remember seven years ago, in 2002, when I had my birthday party at Min Jung’s house and we were all high on ecstasy and then you guys swung by and you were all, “are you on drugs” and I was all “yeah, I’m totally twacked” and you were like “oh hey, so does it feel weird when I touch your arm like this?”

No? Nevermind, then. Oh hey! You’re on Oprah! Good job, man.