Speaking of things only white people do, I got to fire a gun for the first time in my life while in Texas. At an event called “Geeks with Guns,” no less. It works as follows:

1. Someone hands you a Glock 40-calibur mid-size, explains how the gun works and is loaded in around twenty seconds, and then you then sign a liability form releasing them from all responsibility. Answer “no” when he asks you whether you’re drunk, on drugs, or have a history of mental illness. Briefly contemplate saying “No, but my sister’s crazy. Does that count?” and then realize that, no, that’d probably be a stupid idea.
2. Point said gun at a target. Fire gun, and pray the gun doesn’t recoil so hard that you don’t let go of the gun and the gun doesn’t fly in mid-air, spontaneously firing and hitting your friends in the face.
3. Continue firing gun. Similar to how people who are afraid of heights have sudden, intense thoughts of being thrown off high places against their will, start visualizing that your loaded gun has a personality, like that shoe in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.” Briefly imagine the gun running around the shooting range with its big cartoony eyes, firing and hitting your friends in the face. Imagine your friends screaming in agony. Shake it off.
4. Realize that once you get over that fear of shooting a gun for the first time, it’s actually kind of a rush. Contemplate at least showing up for “Full-Auto Fridays.” Quickly get over it.

Min Jung: I love the Salt Lick, but if one more girl asks me if I’m Sandra Oh, I’m going to leave this convention and I’m never coming back to Texas.
Kevin: What happened?
MJ: Someone just said I look like Sandra Oh, from Grey’s Anatomy. While I was on the fucking can.
(Everyone looks at each other)
MJ: What, are you serious? You’re saying I look like Sandra Oh because we’re both Korean women?
Ernie: Well… let’s be honest, girl. You guys do have the same facial shape.
MJ: [sitting up in her chair straight] No, I don’t.
E: Uhm… sitting up in your chair isn’t going to change your facial shape. Just saying.
MJ: …

Obviously, after a conversation exchange such as the one above, it means only one thing: a practical joke, orchestrated by Kevin, must be played on her involving the wait-staff while she’s off socializing at another table. Twenty minutes later…

Two giddy 15-year old employees, holding a piece of paper: Ohmygod! Are you Sandra Oh from Grey’s Anatomy? Can you sign…
MJ: WHAT DID I TELL YOU!? WHAT DID I TELL YOU PEOPLE?! WHO’S THE ASSHOLE WHO SET ME UP FOR THIS, HUH? WAS IT YOU?
E: (Loudly.) Oh, Sandra. Be nice to the girls.

Min Jung later punched us all in the stomach on the way to the car. It was totally worth it.