Right now on the local news there is a live feed of the house of the local 13 year old boy who won the National Spelling Bee. I wonder if the news crew is aware that the kid isn’t going to be at his house since, you know, the spelling bee takes place in Washington DC.

This took top billing on the 11 o’clock news tonight, probably because it’s a slow news day and we don’t have any humpback whales slowly dying in our rivers this week.

I did get a chance to watch the live coverage on ABC, though – they had ESPN Commentators and those special segments that they do with Olympic Athletes – except replacing “athletes” with “11 year old geeky boys with glasses and braces.” One segment in particular focused on blond hair, blue-eyed, Tia Thomas – the all-American girl with pigtails and is athletic, unlike all the other home-schoolers and Chinese and Indian overachievers. Shots of her playing the flute and skiing and discussing Parkinson’s Disease over dinner. The producers had a plan for her, man. Pretty and smart, she was going to be America’s next sweetheart. Maybe even a walk-on role in a movie.

Then she spelled “zacate” wrong. Oops, her bad.

I would have live-blogged this – I mean, it’s two hours of live spelling, and thus, instant blogging zaniness, but for the most part, watching the majority of spelling bee consisted of the following: Some random Asian kid is given the task to spell “bouleuterion.” Kid writes with his finger on the back of the piece of cardboard with his name on it, while an ESPN commentator reminds us that he’s not REALLY writing the word out, it’s just his finger. After we watch him do this for two minutes, the bell rings, meaning that he’s spelled the word wrong, and defeated, he walks to his parents and sits with them, on stage. Neither of them console their child or look supportive.

“Holy crap,” I think to myself. “That kid is going to get the beat down when he gets home.”