little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

CYBERWAR!!!

Remember a year ago, when a flood of suspicious activity from the Middle East and South Asia was being discovered in the networks of American infrastructures? My cousin Chris, a detective for the Mountain View police department, was the guy who alerted the FBI.

Well, he was recently on an episode of Frontline recently, titled “CyberWar!”. (I love how they add the exclamation point at the end of that word for an added sense of urgency. CYBERWAR!!!)

You’ll see him three minutes into Part 1 of the series. The best part about this though, is that he’s in uniform and there are obviously staged shots of him using a computer, looking “concerned.” America’s Most Wanted, eat your heart out.

I could only imagine the conversations that went on with Chris and the producers…

Producer: Okay Chris, we need some shots of you surfing the net. Try to look concerned, but relaxed.
Chris: There’s no net access on this computer. You can film me playing Minesweeper, if you want.
Producer: Ugh, fine. But during the interview, can you mention that you’re “fighting a CyberWar?” It’s sweeps week at PBS, you know?
Chris: Just like that? “We are fighting a cyberwar?”
Producer: No, no. Not just a cyberwar, a CYBERWAR!!! With exclamation points, for an added sense of urgency.
Chris: (the terrorists have won.)
Producer: What was that, Chris?
Chris: Nothing.

OMAHGAWD! 3 EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
ALERT THE MICHIGAN MILITIA PRODUCERS OF JERRY SPRINGER & GIRLS GONE WILD!!!

CYBERWARRRRR!
sounds like a bad Atari game, but your cousin is a Genuine Real American Hero, like GI Joe.

This is why I took SANS and got my GIAC GSEC cert. =D

Of course, it’s all about sensatioalism…

Producer: Now all we need is a good look of fear. Remember, this is CYBERWAR!!.

Chris: What, like a deer caught in the headlights? [freezes motionless with a blank stare]

Producer: No, this isn’t CYBERROADKILL!!, it’s CYBERWAR!!. We’re doing the story on Threat: Armadillos! next week. Try this: Pretend like you can make a lot of money…

Chris: … yes?

Producer: … if you can only tell me …

Chris: [anxiously] … YES?

Producer: (this is great, are you getting it on film?) … According to the Bible, who was the Good Shepherd?

Chris: [sweating] … Jonah?

Producer: [stunned silence]

Chris: [anxious silence]

Producer: No. Jesus. The Son of God. The Big J. Jesus.

Chris: ARGH! OH F***!

Producer: PERFECT! My gramdma’ll be scared to touch a typewriter when she sees the effect of CYBERWAR!!.

[punkass comments stripping my html. add emphasis yourself.]

Dear Mike of coffeecorner.org,

Jesus called. He said that he wishes that you were never born.

Nothin’ but love, baby. I seriously needed a little break from work today.

Recently on an episode of Frontline recently, eh?

Hm … Frontline is where I get all my news … especially on CYBERWARS!!!

hee I laughed out loud even, perhaps I should shorten that to LOL… yeah that is hip

If this Frontline thing featuring Chris is anything like Ernie’s “Weakest Link” appearance, I gotta check it out.

Oh wait, maybe I mean “WEAKEST LINK!!!!!!!”

not to be a killjoy, but Frontline is actually one of the best investigative journalism outfits out there. I wouldn’t knock ‘em. you want to know just how fucked up the Saudi/US relationship really is…watch the episode(s) of Frontline that investigated it. gave me serious chills.

Rats! I caught the end of that Frontline, but missed seeing your cousin. I need a TiVo!

Usually I think Frontline is a pretty trustworthy news source, but that Cyber Wars show reported a lot of false information as true. They reported that a Muslim terrorist group claimed responsibility for the “slammer” worm attack, but failed to note that a technology journalist later admitted to having fabricated the web site that made the claim (pretending to represent a Muslim extremist group) as an “experiment”. I read about it on Freedom to Tinker (http://www.freedomtotinker.com/), but the information was from a reliable news source. So you can’t always trust Frontline.

LMFAO, btw cool redesign.

This is hilarious.