So the other thing I did this weekend (besides) was go to Planet Big with a bunch of friends, which was a blast. Planet Big is, how should we put this, a gay club for big men and their admirers.
The first time I heard about the club, I was at a bar with my friends Matte and Chaz, who are pretty big guys themselves:
Ernie: Mmm. What else can you tell me about Planet Big?
Matte: You mean, “The Hippo Hop?”
Ernie: (looks in horror and disbelief)
Matte: What? That’s what everyone calls it. Hey Chaz, what do you call Planet Big?
Chaz: What, besides “The Pudgy Prom?’
Ernie: That’s horrible.
Chaz: There’s also “The Fat Girl Fricassee.”
So, fast foward to before the event this weekend. I tell this story to a bunch of friends, some of which from out of town:
Ernie: …The Fat Girl Fricassee.
Min Jung: He forgot “The Chubby Cha-cha.”
Greg: Hrmm. How about “The Fatty trot? The Whale Waltz?”
Mike: “Dance Dance Richter-Scale!”
Everyone: Oooooooooooooooh.
Min Jung: (What, nobody liked “Chubby Cha-cha?”)
Aaaah, good times. (I sure hope my friends don’t kill me for posting this conversation.)
Badunk-adunk disco, maybe?
Or the Chunky Cha Cha Charleston? Or the Tubby Twist? Shamoo Shimmy Shop? I should stop, huh? Some of you know where I live…
Richter Rhamba, maybe? Okay, okay.. I can hear the groans. I’ll stop.
So what songs are on “Dance Dance Richter-Scale”?
Boom Boom Fire I think is an obvious choice. Ugh… I havent played DDR for ages…
I’m just waiting for the day Ernie decides to try growing the prerequisite bear-beard.
Dance Dance Demolition?
That picture of you is totally cute, Ernie. Are those yr friends with you, or just random people?
We call it the “FGD” Fat Girl Dance. I have been a few times and prefer to go to The Endup on Sundays. I think that this dance is a necessary part of our community since skinny folks don’t welcome big boys at their dances and in their lives.
I defer to Mike-The-Boyfriend’s great snarkiness with Dance Dance Richter-Scale.
how about the urkle?
Wait until you learn the *REAL* meaning of Country Bear Jamboree at Gay Days next week.
The Lard-o Lounge?
sizable saloon?
chunky monkey club?
The Fatty Fandango?
Blubber Boogie?
The *not* RunningMan?
Here’s a few more
“Big Belly Dancers”
“Club Cow”
“Club Friction”
“the Big End-Up”
So if I DJ’d at this place would I get hung for playing “The fat boys are back” or “The overweight lover Heavy-D”????
What? You devote the entire post to making fun of it and all the dirt you can dish on what actually goes on there is “a blast”? I am so VERY disappointed in you, young man.
P.S. Don’t grow a beard.
octopus: couldn’t even if i tried. as for what goes on inside: a bunch of guys with bellies, a smattering of skinny guys, most with their shirts off, dancing to Madonna. i can’t make that funny if i tried.
The Grande Jungle Bungo Bingo Palace
Ernie, if the beard won’t work I bet you can squeeze out a wicked fu manchu at the very least. Just imagine how sexy that would… oh, nevermind.
I thought mj said fatty fandango.
get ur story str8 
Ton DMC
(Sorry, it’s not original — Got it from Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn)
Or as my co-worker explained –
There were tons of guys, but not very many men.
dance dance richter scale? wasnt that the japanese game nintendo re-outfitted to sell as super mario bros. ii?
argh! no html? heres the link i meant to slyly include in that last post: http://www.poprocksandcoke.com/?x=24
Stop the presses! Our beloved superhero, Ernie, is featured in the 04-27-03 photos on the Planet Big SF website and looking quite stunning. Ernie, you rock!!!
Stop the presses! Our beloved superhero, Ernie, is featured in the 04-27-03 photos on the Planet Big SF website and looking quite stunning. Ernie, you rock!!!
Bears (or the idea of bears for that matter) scare me. Especially when picturing them in a closed environment, say… prison.