A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

Dear Google Maps:  Your Public Transportation Options mock me

This is the result map that came up when I typed in that I wanted to take public transportation from my house to the DMV. (Public transportation since, you know, I forgot to renew my car registration. Ooops.)

I love how it’s all, “WALK THERE, YOU FAT FUCKER.”

§1579 · April 3, 2008 · life, san francisco · · [Print]

28 Comments to “Dear Google Maps: Your public transportation options mock me”

  1. Sherr says:

    With all due respect, it looks more like “Pop those wings and FLY there, ya fairy!”

  2. Chris M says:

    LOL… In the early days of Google Transit in the Seattle area it once told me to walk across one of the floating freeway bridges on Lake Washington. :) I should’ve known what they were REALLY saying to me.

  3. heather says:

    Whatever. That’s further than it looks. And there are hills, too.

  4. YvesPaul says:

    That reminds me at Google Map you used to be able to put in from NYC to Paris, France and one of the clause ask the driver to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. Too bad they fixed it because it’s hella funny.

  5. Ken says:

    The first time I tried to test this here, I told it I wanted to go from NYC to my local train station in New Jersey; it drew me a giant arrow like that across the Hudson River, in a direction that coincided with absolutely no tunnel or bridge; apparently, I was supposed to swim for it.

    “NYC” is evidentially too vague of a starting point, and you have to actually tell it New York Penn Station for it to give you directions that involve actually getting to take a train.

  6. Joan says:

    Oh jeebus. Use transit.511.org for your transit planning in the future. It’s still crappy sometimes, partly because the Bay Area has approximately 12 bajillion different transit services, but it will do a lot better than “just walk there.”

  7. Chantalle says:

    Ok, Ernie… I’ve been reading this blog for a while now, and I’ve got to say that it is BY far the funniest blog on my reader, and I make it a point to subscribe to a lot of blogs. This made me laugh my ass off.

    Thanks for cheering up my morning. Keep it up!

    P.S Sorry google maps didn’t pull through for you ^_~!

  8. Spawrhawk says:

    Thanks for making me snort in laughter.

  9. AG says:

    I’m sure this is too late for you but:
    Take the 33 Stanyan from Mission & 18th to Castro & 18th.
    Switch to the 24 Divisadero @ Castro & 18th
    Get off at Fell.

    http://www.nextmuni.com is also your friend for times.

    P.S. The 33 is one of my favorite busses when it goes over Corona Heights on its way to the Haight. You can see quite a bit of SE San Francisco on a clear day. The view is just lovely.

  10. Charles says:

    Geez, AG, tell Ernie about that gorgeous view, then give him directions that will cause him to miss that view entirely. (Oh, well, there is that bit about getting him to his destination, isn’t there.)

  11. GDad says:

    For a long time Google Maps wouldn’t recognize my home as existing on Earth. I guess the spatial anomaly has worked itself out now, though.

  12. Bob says:

    A while back, if you put New York -> London into Google Maps, it told you to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. So what am I supposed to do if I’m not a fucking whale?

  13. Apollo Lee says:

    I was once considering moving to Treasure Island and tried to use Google Maps to determine how long it would take me, by public transit, to get from my office near 3rd & Townsend to 9th St & Avenue D on Treasure Island.

    “Walk to Montgomery BART. Take BART to Embarcadero. Walk to 9th St & Avenue D.”

    The arrow pointed across the bay. I was really hoping it’d say something like “Walk to City Kayak, Pier 40. Rent boat. Paddle, bitch!”

    Nicely done, google!

  14. [...] “Google maps – your public transportation options mock me” [...]

  15. james hong says:

    I encountered the same problem. that’s why i use 511.org instead. their transit planner works really well

  16. carlivar says:

    Oh just drive the short distance with expired tags. Live a little. Are you also one of those folks that fills up their car’s gas tank whenever it gets down to like 1/4 full?

  17. Ashley says:

    Hi Ernie. I thought about your blog yesterday when my lunch was stolen from the office breakroom fridge — I recalled reading your blog regularly nearly 7 or so years ago when blogging was such a new thing, and I was wondering if you were still out on the internets… I am glad to see you are still at it!

    Cheers!

  18. It seems to go over buildings and blocks…maybe you could take up parkour?

  19. steve says:

    That is a lot of fences to jump…

  20. juno says:

    time to wear the spiderman suit..hehe

  21. MB says:

    Here’s another great suggestion from Google – How to travel by transit in Vancouver.
    Zoom in to endpoint B.
    Translation of Google instructions:

    “Take tram to Burrard at Hardwood. Walk across water to Granville Island.”
    or is that
    “Take tram to Burrard St. Bridge. Jump off bridge to Granville Island”

    http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=&saddr=1480+folsom,+san+francisco,+ca&daddr=divisadero+and+fell,+san+francisco,+ca&dirflg=r&jsv=107&sll=37.774853,-122.424603&sspn=0.012313,0.02841&ie=UTF8&z=14

    PS: Google – your tram icon looks like a helicopter.

  22. ingrid says:

    :) i loved this.

  23. Marianna Trench says:

    > A while back, if you put New York -> London into Google Maps, it told you to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. So what am I supposed to do if I’m not a fucking whale?

    I love that the whales post here!

  24. I laughed out loud when I read this one. Love it!! Stumbled here via “Stuff Lesbians Like.” I’m not a lesbian but, given my heterosexual dating adventures in New York, I’ve wondered if I can convert. ;)

  25. What’s even weirder is I did a regular, non-map google search for “public transportation options san francisco to folsom” and this post is the first link that came up. Doing a benefit concert or something Ernie?

    (p.s. I’m the red haired dude from 9th grade and bumped into you randomly at a party probly 10 years ago and couldn’t help but post when I saw your blog come up [yes I still remember it])

  26. Hilary says:

    That’s not actually that far and there aren’t that many hills if you take the right route. It’s probably about a mile. Either way Google transit is useless and MUNI has it’s own website that is pretty damn good.

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