doughnut run: part 1
Why I will think twice about buying Krispy Kremes for my development group the next time I make a doughnut run: The ten minute side trip to the nearest KK turned into a thirty-five minute commute, thanks to an accident on Highway 85. When I finally get back to the office, I offer a doughnut to the grumpy pregnant lady in the cubicle next to me.
Ernie: “Would you like a doughnut?
Her: *evil glare* “Don’t you KNOW I’m diabetic?”
Ernie: (Of course I do. You constantly remind everyone how you can’t eat anything except for tofu. I was just trying to be polite.) “Oh, I’m sorry, no I didn’t.
Well, it’s a good thing every box of doughnuts come with a shot of insul—”
Her: *evil glare*
Ernie: “nevermind.”
(ten minutes pass.)
Her: “Okay, I can’t help myself, I’ll have half a doughnut. But if my baby gets sick, I BLAME YOU.”
Mmm. Great. Okay then, how about the User Interface guy? I’ve seen him wear one of those KK paper hats around the office, he’ll dig it.
Ernie: “Would you like a doughnut?”
Him: “no.”
Ernie: “What?! You don’t want a doughnut? You always wear the hats around the office.”
Him: “No. You don’t understand. My parents own a Dunkin’ Donuts on the East Coast. Morning after morning, there was nothing but fried dough and sugar and oil and more fried dough… did I tell you that my family escaped from the Czech Republic? We fled to the United States and we tried to make an honest living, day in and day out of oil and dough and sugar and oil and…”
Ernie: (…and this is where you tell me your parents beated you as a child.) “No prob, man. Next time, I’ll get Egg McMuffins.”
Hi, I’m Ernie. I nearly killed someones baby and sent someone into horrible flashbacks over doughnuts. How are you?
