ernie sells his soul, part 3: if my soul is being sold, it might as well look fabulous

One of the nice things about moving into a place where I’m owning instead of renting is the fact that I’ll be able to do anything I please to it, something I’ve never really had to think about since having a roommate. I’m used to having four white walls and milk crates for furniture and my bed is an old twin bed that I’ve had since high school.

All of the sudden, the condo goes through and suddenly find myself gazing at IKEA catalogues and going to the Z-Gallerie. Wicker baskets and elephant trinkets suddenly become charming and I find myself watching Pier 1 commercials, relating to Kristie Alley.

Eh, who am I kidding – that crazy bitch? Hells naw.

One thing that I’ve been thinking about, however, is the color that I paint the walls. What are my options? Hmm…

I could always go with this color scheme. Purple and yellow are, incidentally, the corporate colors of Yahoo!. If I had to deal with with staring at bright colors at work, then come home to a bunch of purple and yellowness in my living room, I’d probably have a stroke like one of those overworked Japanese salarymen. It would also give me nightmares about living in Sweet Valley High, and I had a traumatic experience already in high school. (Will Jake take me to the prom? Will he take Jenna instead? I’m so confused!)

Hmm… Eddie Bauer colors. All I need now is a vase with fake lilacs, a mini-van full of screaming children and a secret heroin addiction. Still better than hospital white, I suppose.

My friend Don has this orange color in his living room. It actually works because he has a good amount of accessories and pictures and furniture so the color isn’t too distracting. Also, he’s a gay man, and that’s almost a requirement to use orange in one way or another. Sure, I’m gay too, but my decorating-fu is weak, and much skill and training for me is required.

(If I ever make a kung fu and interior decoration reference ever again, I give you permission to shoot me at the back of the head.)

HA! Now seriously, I would only paint my walls this if I had a serious vandetta against my parents. “You want me to live ten minutes from you? Well then, take a look at my NEW PLACE!” I could buy a Hello Kitty flat screen television and I could buy a Sanrio placemat and OMG it would be so CUTE!!! ^_^

On the flip side, I would have to live with myself in a pink house. Ugh, nevermind.

You guys have any suggestions?