Exhale this!
(The scene: Ernie and his mom in a car, driving to his parents house to get the last of his childhood momentos, since the parents are moving and going to throw everything away otherwise. Exhale by Whitney Houston comes on the radio. Like always, Chinese is in italics.)
Radio: “…Shoop, Shoop, Shoop / Shoo Be Doop Shoop Shoop (yeah)…”
Mom: AI-YA! What kind of song is this, talking about shoes? SHOE! SHOE! SHOE! How ridiculous.
Ernie: Mom, they’re NOT talking about shoes. She’s saying “Shoop.”
Mom: Okay, then. What does SHOOP mean?
Ernie: Hrm. Uhmm… uhhhh….
Mom: …
Ernie: You’re right, Mom. It means “shoe.”
Mom: I thought so.
At home, I found: Three “how to program computer games using BASIC” books, two yearbooks from Junior High, my High School yearbook, prom pictures, exactly 29 photographs of me with a salad-bowl haircut, a fictional story I wrote in the 4th grade and 10 letters to myself from ages fourteen to twenty describing various states of personal mental anguish. As far as blog fodder is concerned, I stumbled onto a fucking goldmine.
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