little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

gay world, yours for only $29.95

Usually, the stuff on my mini-blog doesn’t really carry over to the main section, but I can’t resist: My Gay SimLife [possibly NSFW], a gay avatar chat world.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

The premise is this: you create an avatar. Apparently, myGSL rules and regulations dictate that all avatars must have a giant torso, tight jeans, a translucent peasant shirt and a haircut like Ashton Kutcher or Tidus from Final Fantasy X. (The gay SimLife is also suspiciously devoid of females as well, because this virtual parallel universe wasn’t awkwardly uncomfortable enough already. But that’s a different weblog post.) From there, you wander into “virtual hotSPOTs,” or as we called it back in 1996, chat rooms, and engage in sexual relations with other avatars that look just like your avatar, except he might be wearing a wife beater, a tie with a sleeveless shirt or have purple hair. (All the avatars seem to have that same weird large-eye, anime-style stare, though. I wonder if they’re looking directly at you while they’re “doing it.” Wow, that’s uncomfortable.)

For all my sarcasm, though, I will give MyGSL the benefit of the doubt - it seems that they’re not just a marketing ploy and reaching towards the gay community:

• 

  One of the chat rooms hotSPOTs is a recreation of the Castro Theatre. Which is just like being at the Castro Theatre, except there are no independent, thought-provoking classic movies playing at its virtual counterpart. Also, it’s just a hunch, but I’m pretty sure the guy serving me popcorn doesn’t long, fire red hair and have devil horns. But I do live in the suburbs now, and that’s just an assumption.

• myGSL Weddings - “Officiated by myGSL Citizens, and witnessed by all - pledge your love to your partner in an actual online ceremony!” Aah, good times. Live in one of the eleven states that banned same-sex marriage? Well, thank god for the Internet.

<Abercr0mb1e89> WAIT CAN YOU REALLY MARRY US
<myGSLminister93012> Why, of course I am. I am a myGSL citizen, and your union is deemed holy and acceptable within the boundaries of these 15 Linux servers, and your $29.95/month membership. I now pronounce you married.
<Twink4U> /me kisses Abercr0mb1e89
<Abercr0mb1e89> WHAT R U WEARING????/ I HAVE A 15 INCH COC$%*@($@
NO CARRIER

Did I mention that it costs $29.95 a month? That’s right kids, instead of actually playing EverQuest online for half the price, you could spend twice as much watching your avatar engage in virtual homosexual simulated sex acts in front of what looks like Level 2 of Double Dragon for the Nintendo Entertainment system.

God, I’m cattier than usual today. I need a cigarette.

The only thing that could make it worse, is if members gained points every time they, umm… gained access to others.

I’m thinking I’ll leave the virtual gay life for you to rule, Ernie. I may be persuaded to help with any of the “Boss battles”.

What?!?! No bears?!?!?!

Where is the virtual Lonestar?

Maybe they will add the lonestar (or SOMA in general), when they let you be more than just an anime twink.

mmmmmm anime bears…..

is there dancing? it might be worth $29.95 if there is dancing.

I love their pretend rating of “G for Gay”. I wish the ESRB would adopt that one.

$30 a month seems steep for what looks like essentially a series of chat rooms with avatars. I hope their are RPG elements, because it would sure give a new meaning to the term “level grinding”.

ooh! they have gayborHoods!

wow! and you can also “rent your own private apartment!!!”!!!!

and you forgot to mention the joining “incentive” - every 100th member gets an iPod mini! w00t! I get the impression that 2-day trials don’t apply.

What? No cross-dressers or fag-hags? That’s just wrong.

No Fag-Hag avatars?! What’s a girl like me supposed to do then? Guess the game just wasn’t made for me.

I thought of something worse than my previous comment today… A furries avatar world. Oh the horror!

Meow meow!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNIE!!

yes. congratulations on finding something terrifying AND living through another year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNIE

Happy birthday to someone I met only once but whose blog I still read regularly!

Oh, and this myGSL thing is teh scary. I wonder if it’ll be as addictive as EverQuest. I can see it now — myGSL conventions, myGSL leagues, myGSL meetup groups, a bunch of myGSL members gathering together to conquer a large unconquerable queen… okay that last comparison didn’t quite work.

Happy Birthday, Ernie!

eh, this is just another incarnation of worldsaway/vzones/whatever name of the month - they’ve been around for years now. they added an “adult” world a while back IIRC and this is a more specialized version of that. they’re getting desperate i guess.

and yeah, it’s as bad as it looks. a small amount of new graphics - much of it is borrowed from the world i visited a few years back, very limited motion (though now with new groin-thrusting action, i see), and a lot of lonely, lonely people.

good times.

*throws you a Marlbobro*

nice work here. i’ll be a regular, i think.

why the hell would you want to throw away money to watch animated things go at it when you can just watch webcams and see the real thing for free?!

not that i’d know anything about THAT, of course…