For the first eighteen years of my life, I had a salad-bowl haircut. Worried about kids teasing me at school, I would explain this to my father. His response: to take portions of my bangs and cut them an inch or two higher so that my head would look like a fucked up city skyline. In a couple of weeks, the hair would grow straight across the eyebrows, and kids would make fun of me again. Lather, rinse, repeat.
But ever since I’ve returned from Asia, I have yet to get a haircut. Longer hair is fine in Hong Kong and Tokyo, because it’s cool to look like the a Final Fantasy character or explodey orange jumpsuit guy from Dragonball Z. Here notsomuch, but a mixture of laziness and apathy and hairstylist conveniently breaking their ankles have prevented me from going to a stylist.
To surprising results. My mom, of course, loves the hair.
Mom: You look like you came back from Hong Kong.
Ernie: Mom, I did come back from Hong Kong.
Mom: But it looks like you live there. I like the hair, makes you look SMART.
I love how my mom uses the word “smart” the way others use the word “handsome.”
My homosexual friends think otherwise, however.
Ernie: Hey guys, how-
Friend: No. You need a haircut. You’d look cuter with the hair short.
Ernie: Seriously? My friends and co-workers like it, though.
Friend: Where do your friends live? Where do YOU live, for that matter?
Ernie:The Mission.
Friend: EXACTLY. Girls in the Mission all look like Velma from Scooby Doo. Fuck, the boys do, too.
Okay, that last line was slightly embellished. That being said, I’m in a dilemma. Keeping the hair long, while popular, gives me flashbacks to the fifth grade and most likely is a contributing factor to me not getting laid pursuing a healthy relationship. On the flip side, it makes me look “smart” and only have to change my entire wardrobe to properly fit into my neighborhood. What to do?
Are you sure this guy is a friend?
OMG! Just saw your Flickr images (“Wood.”). We are one degree of separation. I only previously knew of a two degree of separation path via your ex-bf. That’s San Francisco for you.
I just realized I haven’t had a haircut in nearly a year. Maybe I oughtta get out a bowl and some scissors…
Ignore the friend Ernie. I think you look cute.
I used to have a bowl haircut, except that my mom wouldn’t use a bowl but would eyeball it, so it’d be crooked.
My boyfriend carried that salad bowl haircut until he was about 25. I saw a picture recently from when he was three, and he had the same bloody haircut, shirt and pants as he wears now. So it took me about a year and a half for me to be successful at nagging him to shave it off. Asian boy hair is a goddamned trial. But this cut is really damn good. Hell, I’m not Asian and now I want to go to H0ng Kong and get my hair done
I think it looks good. Just please avoid getting the bleached-orange highlights I so often see in dudes with anime-influenced hair.
Dude, you don’t need a haircut, it looks more stylish this way.
Well I think the hair looks cute and its NOT long ..is it down to your backside? No its not so its not long!
my god, for once i agree with your mother: the cut looks good. keep it!
I agree. Longer hair is the style. It’s been that way for a while now in Asia.
Just take a look at Jay Chou and the rest. They all have sorta longer haircuts. With that messy look.
I think this one looks pretty good. Keep it. Beats salad bowl hair any day of the week.
I agree with the others. Keep the longer hair. It looks danged good on ya.
Keep the hair long … and when I’m in SF, I’ll give you a haircut if you want.
Dude, what’s wrong with Velma? You know she rocks it in the sack, way more than that prissy pillow queen Daphne.
keep it longish and styled… doooooo it!
Jesse, from the Mission…
Love the new look! You should get some thick rimmed glasses to go with it.
Keep_it++;
Most people aren’t very good at distinguishing between what they like themselves and what actually suits the person they’re advising. If, for instance, you talk to the typical bear he’s going to tell you to shave your head and grow a beard whether you would look good that way or not, just because it’s the only look he likes. Personally I think you look great either way, so I say keep it and enjoy it. You can always cut it later on if you get ready for another change. Your hair is not going to affect your relationship situation either way — trust me.
You look maaahvelous. Keep the “long” hair for a while, see if you get laid.
I like the new hair.
Please keep it for a bit, ok?
keep the hair – it looks smart!
Mmm…
.. Velma
Wait.. wait!
i think you look hot.
honestly.
but i’m a straight stay at home
frumpy mom so take it for
what it’s worth.
Keep it long! Sure, you look like you got back from Hong Kong, but who said that was bad? It’s very classy looking. Don’t let a catty bitch or two spoil it for you.
Style your hair to please yourself, not other people. YOUR opinion is the one that matters here.
I’ve always had the whole part thing going, ever since I was old enough to grow hair on my head. My hair never does the same thing, though, thanks to its waviness/curliness. It’s sorta just a mop do, I guess.
i’m a dykey sort of queer girl with a thing for geeky gay boys, and i think you look darn good. i.e., i’d totally run with it, it suits you well.
and that does *not* count as long hair at all, by the way. well, might be long hair according to the viewpoint of someone who has been hairless since birth, like those wrinkled wiener dogs you see running around upper manhattan in knit sweaters. but their opinion doesn’t count. because they wear knit sweaters. and are hairless wrinkled wiener dogs.
Ern, you look hot. Take some good pictures – front, side and back – and show them to a good haridresser. Get a touchup trim every 3-4 weeks and you’ll continue to look hot.
Eric in Seattle
I’m liking the long hair. I think it makes you look artsy AND smart…no stereotyping intended.
Short or long? It doesn’t matter. You look beautiful either way… smart, too!
You are actually looking healthier than you have in a long time. I don’t know if it’s the weight loss or the glasses or the international travel.
Whatever it is, I hope you’re happy.
YOu do look a bit like Velma from Scooby Doo, but I think that’s what’s in right now.
I shave my head, what the hell do I know from hair?
my vote is you’re hot. keep the hair as is. besides, it goes with that sexypout you’re sporting in the photo.
I dunno, I’m kinda diggin’ it too Ern. Personally, I wouldn’t grow it out too much more – but I think it’s working for you. Definitely need more pics to be sure.
I just posted pictures of my haircut too (without seeing you do the same.) Damn we’re dorks.
We, your Filipina Velma friends, already told you that we like your new hair! Guess our long repeated discussions didn’t work.
One more vote for keep. It looks awesome.
What’s more comfortable for you to wear? Ignore mom and the fags, if you’re comfortable with a certain hair cut, stick with it.
But than again, it’s easy for me to say that because my “stick with it” haircut is short, short, short, so I don’t need to use hair product when I go running, biking or swimming.
But seriously, what do *you* think of the current haircut? If you like it, stick with it, and to hell with the rest of them.
As your neighbour, I say keep it.
Also: since when was looking like somebody out of FF a *problem*? Everybody in that thing is hot!
Go the other direction. Bic it.
I like the side part and fringy-ness in the front. Can you go to someone and have them neaten up the sides and back? Then, it’s win win. The top being longer and parted on the side looks great. But those who may feel it’s sloppy are satisfied too.
Um, I am such a people pleaser. Nevermind all that, just do what you like.
M
You do look nice in this picture. Keep the cut.
HAWT!
You know what you could do? Keep it until New Year’s Eve. Then, if you still want to get rid of it, make it the first thing you do in 2008 (or the last thing you do in 2007).
keep it till it bugs you. the gay gay cuts are all short and spiky, and I like that… to a point. this haircut doesn’t require much product. and i like that a lot. dry it and go. (it’s why i pay a huge ransom for the cut.)
i think you look sharp.
more artsy, less utilitarian than the short, gelled-up do.
You look great and I’m so glad to see you’re back. I missed your posts while you were gone.
I’d do ya.
You look great, Ernie. I know it’s a pain to keep it long, I’ve been through it far too many times. But on you? Cutest. Seriously, it looks great.
isn’t it cool that after a month of not posting, your hair style illicits such a response…you’re practically Paris Hilton… you know but with talent, smarts, a lot less money and better looks…oh yeah, and Asian.
It’s looking fly now…something to hold on to as well
Excuse me, but where and when does your “friend” live? The Roxy in NYC in the 1990s?!
KEEP THE GOTDAMN HAIR!!!
I found your blog through Blogrolling.com. Awesome site! Your childhood haircuts could have been worse…. My parents used to use a Flowbee on my brother. I say keep the hair as is.
Yes, I’m a late adopter of Loving Ernie’s New Hair.
Ernie, I HAVE to tag you on this…
http://theradula.blogspot.com/2007/10/dreaded-pharyngula-mutating-genre-meme.html