little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

heavy flow day

An Instant Messenger conversation at work:

Female co-worker: i’m sooo embarrassed!
Ernie: what happened?!
Co-worker: i accidentally typed into the wrong IM window
Ernie: what did you type?
Co-worker: [stuff about completely non-embarassing project-related matters posted in the manager’s IM window deleted. ]
Co-worker: uuugggg….i’m soooo embarrassed!
Ernie: oh my god, sweetie. it could have been soooo much worse.
Ernie: Co-worker: “My co-worker, he is sooooooooooooo hot! I think I will date him, even though we work together on the same project”
Ernie: now THAT would be embarassing
Co-worker: LOL
Co-worker: omg….you’re right….that would be soooo much more embarrassing!!!
Ernie: other bad things:
Ernie: Co-worker: “omg, i think this is a heavy flow day”

Can you think of anything worse?

Me: OMG, coworker 1, can you believe coworker 2 and coworker 3 are fucking? I never saw THAT one coming!
Coworker 3: Um, WTF?
Me: Oh, sorry.

“Dude! I just ate a whole bag of chips and I got serious anal leakage! My chair is soaked!”

Me: I can’t believe my store manager is such a bitch
Store Manager: ….
Me: So I should just quit now shouldn’t I?

“So we’re still meeting in the cafe across from the strip club tonight, right?”

“let’s meet in the cleaning supply closet in 10 to fuck, k?”

“sperm is so messy to clean up from a keyboard!!!”

“I went to the doctor, you were right, it was only crabs.”

“dude, you will not be-lieve how long my shit was this morning!”

the funny thing about that quote is someone actually used it as a conversation starter at work this week… they just went in my office, sat down, put their hands about a foot apart from each other (to use as a measure) and blurted it out.

ah, to work in the videogame industry.

“The body is hidden in the dumpster on 33rd street.”

“I mean, RIGHT THERE in the Oval Office… oh man, Linda, then he got this cigar…. w00t!”

Me: “[Bestfriend,] I really dont think you should be f’king around on [your boyfriend] my roommate…”
Roommate: “Uh, hm.”
Me: “Oh, shit.”

1. “OW! Oh, sorry… bitch of a secretary grazed me with her teeth again…”

2. “Yeah, I got laid last night. She was a total bitch!… No, seriously, she was a golden retriever… What? What’s wrong with fluffy love??”

3. “Hey! I can fit almost everything on my desk into my mouth/front hole/back hole! Let me see if my keyboard can fit…”

“ever heard of spontaneous combustion?”

Whenever I see people using longs strings of “o”s on the send of “so” to stress a point, I always read it as being pronounced as “soo”… Instead of “soh”… Then I think they’re Canadian.

Something more emabarrassing might be typing something in the wrong messenger window, and then having your coworker put it on his webpage.

Me: The bosses wife is real whore, she’ll suck ya dry.
Boss: Oh really?
Me: No her vaccuuuuu..err…uhh..umm..fuck! I quit.

Me: Man, the boss is such a moron.
Coworker: Yeah, I know.
Me: What? This didn’t go to the boss?? Fuck, I quit!

“I can see you from my desk and you still turn me on. BTW: I think my condom is stuck to your skirt/pants…”

“Oh shit! I think a seagull just pooped on your head!”

Me: hey [person a], did you hear that huuuuuge fart [person b] let off this morning? hhaha i thought i would die laughing. if not from the smell
Person b: ….

Not Me (I Swear): I just rubbed my bare ass on Jerry’s chair. You should see the skidder I left. Who knew hot yellow curry would do that!

mmmm
http://www.flyingchair.net/vote.php?categoryID=11

you’re in the asia weblog awards, nominated for the funniest blog- did u know? Just wondering Good luck with it!

I know a guy who received an SMS this week, in which Wendy asks him to join a lingerie party at her house next Friday.

He doesn’t know who Wendy is.

posting a hardcore porn url instead of the news article you wanted to send.

this is seriously less embarassing if you are sending to halcyon.

not that i would know anything about that. heh.

Too funny! I am cracking up!

I just spewed diet coke on my computer screen. You guys are so funny!