hello kitty piggybank
The scene: a small get-together at Min Jung’s house last night. Don and Matte are two awesome bear friends I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know over the past couple of months. Don drives 4×4’s and Matte is a big, no seriously, BIG former college football player at an Ivy League University. What does that have to do with anything? You’ll see.
Don & Matte: Happy birthday. Open up our gift.
Ernie: … holy shit. It’s a Hello Kitty Piggybank. And stickers.
Don: Isn’t it great? It was Matte’s idea.
Ernie: Awesome. But wait a minute… how did you get this?
Matte: What do you mean? We bought it.
THREE HOURS EARLIER (As envisioned by Ernie)
(Two big burly men enter Sanrio Surprises. Little Asian girls scream and run out of the store as if Gozilla had been reincarnated as two Caucasian men.)
Don: Yeah, we’ll get the giant ceramic Hello Kitty piggybank thing.
Matte: It’s for a friend.
Jenni, the cashier: Yeah, whatever. You get free stickers for any purchases over $10.
Matte: Hrm. Uhmm… I’ll get the… uhmm… the dog and the… uhmmm… uhh….
Jenni: Get the tweaked crow and the pissed off piece of bread. That’s what’s popular with us fifteen-year old girls right now. Do you want to be on our e-mail list?
Don: Awww hell, why not?
Jenni: Okay, just a moment please.(Jenni turns to the storage room and screams in Chinese: “HEY, GETTA LOAD OF THIS! SOME CRAZY WHITE BOYS WANT TO BE ON THE HELLO KITTY E-MAIL LIST!)
My friends. They rock, so.
