little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

home sweet home… STARRING ASHANTI

In theaters soon: Coach Carter, starring Samuel L. Jackson as Coach Carter, the high school basketball coach who benched his Richmond, California basketball team for poor academic performance.

Oh yeah, it should also be said that I grew up in El Sobrante, the town over, and went to high school in the same district as Richmond High. Hell, Mike actually lives in Richmond. (”In the good part,” he adds. Yeah, whatever buddy.)

For those of you that haven’t watched the trailer yet, I offer you this slightly exaggerated summary:

[Coolio's "Gangstas Paradise" is in the background. Well, not really, but it might as well be.]

ANNOUNCER: On the streets of Richmond, they fought to get by…
[Cue scenes of robbery, crack selling, someone killing their baby and eating it in the middle of the street]

ANNOUNCER:: … and struggled to get out.
[Cut to riot breaking out in the school, running by a school building with bars in front of the windows. All the local folks know immediately this is a fictional movie, because everyone knows that it's Kennedy High School that has the bar on its windows, not Richmond.]

ANNOUNCER:: … and if they had anything left, they brought it to the courts.
[Cut to a shot to someone from Richmond High's basketball team passing the ball to the token white boy. Strangely, the camera seems to cut to him for the duration of the trailer.]

BASKETBALL COACH OF ALL-WHITE RIVAL SCHOOL WEARING BLUE AND WHITE UNIFORMS: Your boys don’t need practice - they need PRISON!

“Pinole Valley,” Mike and I say simultaneously. (Well, not so much nowadays.)

ANNOUNCER:: Now they have a choice… between surviving alone… and standing together.

ASHANTI: Baby, we need to work hard to get out of this ghetto. This battlezone. This murder capital of the world, located 15-20 minutes north of Berkeley, California, to further clarify that we are not talking about Richmond, Virginia.
JA RULE: MUUUUUH-DUHH!
ASHANTI: The hell you doing here? The lot to “Scary Movie 3″ is over there.
JA RULE: My bad.

[Cute to a positive TUPAC SHAKUR song, trailer credits roll]

You gotta love Hollywood interpretations. It’s not the worse place in the world to live: bombs aren’t falling, no one is being swept away. If you avoid the shady areas and the Chevron plant that leaks toxic gas every six to eight months, you’re fine for the most part.

ernie, are you black?

someone killing their baby and eating it in the middle of the street

Good one, Ernie.

that is the funniest thing i have read in a good while… way to go…lol… too funny.

you almost made me want to see the movie. almost.

my god, that’s hilarious. I grew up in the south bay, but spent a lot of time up in the north-east bay with friends in pinole and whatnot. movie-makers need to stop blowing things out of proportion. ungh.

i love that mike notes, “in the good part” re: richmond. in sf there is a richmond district so when in mixed company(east bay vs city folk) if someone mentions “let’s get siu yeh in richmond” inevitably someone has to add “district” so the east bay folk don’t freak out!

Dude! Only the temporary buildings at Kennedy had bars. The main building had NO windows. Why do you think I’m so damn pale?

You’ve settled it for me, this movie is totally going to be better than Dangerous Minds!

What would be really cool is if the bball players battled against the boys fromk u got served.

Ernie, I’d rather watch YOUR movie!

Haha, oh my god. Yes, baby-eating always seems to nail it in that this is a bad town.

richmond is SO bad, my friends in Vallejo told me to get off the El Cerrito del Norte BART station just so they wouldn’t have to pick me up from Richmond, even though it was 30 minutes more out of their way. And that was back in 1990.

and here I thought they were talking about Richmond, VA. now thems is some rough and tumble streets, my friend.

This is a great blog. The content and design are great. Check me out if you have a chance.

Check me out if you have a chance

bernietop17.blogspot.com

Is it just me or is there not really an original idea in that movie?
I am still laughing at your summary!

HAHAHA. They make Richmond sound like the worst ghetto EV@R. It’s got it absolute shit areas but it’s not all over ghetto.

Blue and white? Hehehe… maybe it was PV, fictionalized. I actually graduated from Pinole Valley. For your information, we were blue and GOLD! (Biiiig difference, yep. )

People live in Richmond, VA? Why?

Great journal!

*CHEERS*

~X~

I think the only thing we are missing in your trailer is LeBron James and background music by Madonna. Isn’t marketing sick? We are the richest country in the world, and we think we are impoverished…hogwash! Everybody can make it, if they want to in this country. Prejudice is everywhere if you want it to be…no matter what color, creed or sex. How about we look past it and make something of ourselves?? Nice site, by the way…I’m with you, man!