little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

i am the gayest geek geekiest gay ever

I mentioned previously that growing up in lieu of any video games I would write computer programs in BASIC. Any memory I tried to repress has suddenly been brought back to the surface when my mom dropped off a book for me when she was going through some boxes with some of my childhood stuff in it, sitting in the garage.

That book? “Tim Hartnell’s The Giant Book of Computer Games.” Published in 1985. That would make me nine years old at the time of publication. Now, I don’t remember being nine years old when I made my mom buy the book for me at the local Waldenbooks, but it doesn’t surprise me. The paperback cover is worn and has bent corners; the pages are now a pale yellow and the code is printed in a pre-Courier font that would have been seen on punchcards. Because they probably were.

Taken from the preface:

“Please be sure to type the programs in carefully. Remember that the instructions you give to a computer must be exactly correct - or the machine won’t be able to run your program. If you have trouble getting a program to run, first proofread your typed-in version against the listing given in this book.”

And then I realize, “ohmyfuckinggod, I had to type those programs in by hand. Pre-internet, pre-modems to download code, pre-scanners to read papers to convert words into code. That’s an awful lot of labor to find a fucking wumpus.

I feel bad about throwing the book away, naturally. I mean, this might be one of the only possesions I have (besides family photographs) that I have that dates back to the 80’s, and while it’s just taking up space at the moment, it’s also one of the last physical remnants I have of my past. So, taking a nod from a ReadyMade magazine article, I’m making a craft project out of it. I bought an IKEA frame and plan on framing pages. Maybe I’ll hang it in the bathroom, so I can remind myself of the GOSUB routine when I pee. I’ll keep you updated.

Computer programming meets interior design. My god, I need to go out more often.

Update, Apr 18: I can’t decide what pages should go in the IKEA frame. Please decide for me. That is all.

Wow. This book is lurking somewhere in my house too! Funny - I remember spending hours locked in my dad’s computer room writing programs in BASIC. Memories…

You’ve just taken a step into super gay territory.

Hmmm. That does sound familiar. Methinks I had that.

You live such a fabulous, exciting life! Perhaps you could come here to help us decorate the new place, you stud!

That’s a cool idea.

10 find book
20 go to ikea
30 buy frame
40 disassemble book
50 insert in frame
60 hang on wall

I had that book too. I remember typing in games from that book, as well as typing in a ‘banner generator’ program that looked something like this:

10 IF $INKEY == “A” GOSUB 1000
…
1000 PRINT ” A”
1010 PRINT ” A A”
1020 PRINT ” A A”
1030 PRINT ” AAAAAAA”
1040 PRINT ” A A”
1050 PRINT “A A”
1060 PRINT “”
1070 PRINT “i will never get laid”
1080 RETURN

Goddamn HTML dropping all my duplicate spaces. Life was so much simpler before HTML.

I never had a book, but would often spend an hour or two entering programs from the back of magazines. Kids these days with their demo discs. They don’t know how good they’ve got it!

Gayest geek ever? I have a hard drive as an ornament in my living room

IF and THEN codes to remind yourself to flush, and put the seat down.

Why don’t you just sell the book on eBay? Do you have any idea how much crap with ‘nostalgia value’ go for these days? If only I’d kept my old Transformers…

I’d sell it, but then it would be even LESS value with three pages missing.

You are so cute.

Woah you just dislodged some old memories of me typing in pages and pages of hex code verbatim into my Apple //e from old copies of Nibble.

Seemed worth it at the time just to play snake.

*still bitter that those stupid “8″’s looked like “B”

Dude, my girlfriend just bought that book and its sequel at MIT’s annual swap meet yesterday. The guy selling them seemed both determined to get rid of them and sad to see them go. It is kind of sad that you can no longer sort-of teach yourself about programming just by typing in games you want to play.

Congratulations! You’ve just gone up another notch in my cool kids list.

I tried one from the back of 3-2-1 contact (the magazine) about the same timeframe. What a failure.

If you need to get out more often, come to TX.

HAHA I had that book too. Made my mom get it for me along with my subscription to A+ when we got our Apple IIc. I spent hours typing in lines of code from that book… I wonder what ever became of it.

Also my birthday is the same as yours. Also I hated high school and had no friends there.

Are you my long-lost Asian twin?

Also: ditch the bf and marry me.

The worst part was typing in all that stuff, playing the really cool game, but there was no way to save it because the school hadn’t bought tape saving devices for the Atari 800s yet.

I am not a computer geek (or wizard) nor am I a guy nor am I gay… but I liked your little story of nostalgia… I keep lots of old crap just to bring back the memories.

I hate to quibble but…that’s a lie. I love to quibble. It’s why I’m ALONE. Anyway, I’d say you’re the “geekiest gay,” not the other way around. There’s nothing superlatively gay in your (extremely charming) story. But boy is it geeky. In 1981, junior high “computer class” amounted to using BASIC on our TRS-80s to make the Van Halen logo. Now THAT was cool.

OK, title change to reflect the comments of both Huntington and my boss (!!!)

Hey… I like #3, but didn’t feel like creating one more account for something I’ll never use.
Love your Blog!!!! You remind me there’s real life out there…not near me.
Signed,
Adopted, Asian American Middle school teacher

As someone who frequently called you “Almost Straight Guy,” it makes me so happy that you’re taking on a craft project.

i think you should just keep the book. and don’t take pages out. just preserve it as a memento of your childhood.

I’m dating myself but I remember having to write 360 Assembler programs by typing them into punch cards.

Geekiest thing I did with a PC? Rewrote a routine in the Commodore-64 system software to stop the cursor from blinking. Can’t do that sort of thing any more and I guess I’ve gotten used to it until I wrote this comment and all of a sudden it’s bugging me again.

Bless you, my child.

I wish I can write more, but I must prepare for mass. Bless you.

Long time lurker, by way of Defective Yeti, first-time commenter.

You rock, Ernie! I’m self-employed now and miss that whole “web-dev” environment, and you bring it all back for me.

I also vote for #3, but be prepared for people writing additional routines on your bathroom walls.

Ebay used to be a lot cooler and a great way to make money and find stuff, but now that the big marketers have stepped in? Its pretty useless.

I wish I had kept Intellivision. TRON rocked.

Helo..your blog was recommended to me by a few friends.great website! Fun to read. easy to dance to. I’ll be adding this to my links.

I rememeber learning BASIC at high-school, me being a weirdo due to:
A) Being one of the two girls in a “boys” choice of subject
B) In Spain they used to say you were ‘de ciencias’ or ‘de letras’ -technical-oriented or literature, etc. So not only was I a girl, but also the one who kept winning competitions writing crappy poems about The Sea to get a free dinner at a centric restaurant!

Soon I realized I couldn’t understand much of the more scientific-oriented programs the guys were doing, so I made a programme to decline in Latin. My comp teacher was fascinated I could use a comp for improving his latin, and gave me an 8 out of 10 for a simple, yet ‘different’ program.

Had forgotten until reading this ;D

My Visual Basic knowledge is a little rusty.

OH MY GOD. I loved Hunt the Wumpus. You mentioning that really takes me back. My mom bought me a computer instead of an Atari, so while at the time I hated playing Wumpus instead of Asteroids, I now have fond memories. Ahh….

If you have a hard time deciding which page to ultimately frame, you can use the leftover, runner-up pages to decoupage onto cabinets and whatnot. (Or if you have any of those little wood IKEA tables, onto a table top.)

I just found your blog, I used to type in Commodore programs that were in Assembly language only to find out they had typos in the magazines. I was such a nerd I actually figured out how to fix these typo’s which were just groups of numbers. If I weren’t a lesbian and you weren’t a gay boy I would have to stalk you. *sigh* I will just add you to my blog list.