After two years of living with regular antenna television, I’ve decided to indulge a little bit by shelling out a couple of extra dollars per month to watch channels I wouldn’t be interested in otherwise: Animal Planet. The Discovery Channel. Home and Garden Television.
But the best part of all of this is that the first night I got cable, I got to watch a full couple of hours of Korean music videos. Now, for those who don’t know - I listen to some J-Pop (Japanese pop music) and some of its other Korean and Chinese counterparts, though not as much. But I am, admittedly, not the biggest fan boy to watch every video of every Asian artist that comes out.
None the less, for those people who aren’t as experienced watching Asian music videos, here’s an easy guide to figure out whether the music video you’re watching is Japanese or Korean.
HOW TO TELL IF A MUSIC VIDEO IS FROM…
SOUTH KOREA: There are basic rules if you’re watching a South Korean power ballad: If it’s a girl singer, her face is never shown. Instead, a 3 minute mini-movie is played out, to the following plot:
- Guy falls for girl in extreme situation. For example: Girl is guy’s hairstylist. Girl is abused, guy is a social worker. Girl is a pleasant North Korean girl, guy works in the DMZ.
- Couple slowly but surely falls in love through a series of vignettes: walks in the park, trips to the amusement parks, druken brawls inside of noodle stands.
- Something tragic happens, and the guy pays the ultimate price. Examples: Hairstylist goes blind and the guy becomes distant, only to find that the guy DONATES HIS EYES to her. Girls abuser ex-boyfriend comes back and tries to kill girl, but guy takes the bullet, inadvertently knocking abuser over a high story building. Guy runs to the girls apartment to deliver an engagement ring, but a freak boulder falls from the sky, crushing him instantly.
- Finally, there is a minute and a half of the girl sobbing her eyes out, while flashbacks of the couple appear as a distant, fading memory. Fade out, cut to a cellphone commercial.
Seriously, I’m typing this shit out and it depresses me. Now I know why Koreans drink so much. (I’m kidding! Jeezus, put down that broken Crown Royal bottle.)
JAPAN: Admittedly, every Japanese music video I’ve seen (god bless you, Hey!Hey!Hey!) has had the same slick production values and ADD-styled quick editing as its American counterparts. Thankfully, I can make fun of Morning Musume, a massive 15-member (15!) all-girl pop group, where age ranges go from 9 to, like, 37.
I don’t know a single guy who wouldn’t watch a VH-1 Behind the Music episode about this. All the gay guys would look for the catty back stabbing and the hot pink outfits. All the straight guys would tune in for the opportunity for a 15-way Japanese all-girl make-out session. With sword fighting afterwards.
Thank god for cable television, seriously. Otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to write about on this damn weblog. (More coming soon, hopefully… this post is turning out longer than I thought.)
35 responses so far ↓
asian // Jun 18, 2004 at 1:22 am
ernie, you should consider writing for an asian publication. not too many asians write about their asian american experience.
Aurea // Jun 18, 2004 at 5:06 am
Man, I work with Koreans and I believe the videos you describe… all you have to do is listen to the 10-minute-long blahblah in Korean singalong on every Korean company working internationally, and then at the end they say in Engrish ‘For Overseas Department, press #2′!!!
elsie // Jun 18, 2004 at 7:21 am
Dude I’m in korea right now and all the videos i’ve seen feature a girl with some sort of terminal illness. Women drop like flies in korean powerballad videos. And EVERYBODY cries.
Greg // Jun 18, 2004 at 8:53 am
It seems like you can watch the Korean music video — KISS, “Because I’m a Girl” — over here:
http://www.happyfacehome.com/mtv/kiss.htm
And yes, it’s more or less exactly as described. Good stuff.
Nala // Jun 18, 2004 at 9:02 am
Personally, not enought people lose their eyes in tragic accidents in American music videos.
devlyn // Jun 18, 2004 at 9:14 am
i totally agree with nala. other than that, i heart heart heart jpop music videos. i can’t really listen to the music, but the visuals! kawaii!!!
Stacy // Jun 18, 2004 at 9:25 am
“Now I know why Koreans drink so much. (I’m kidding! Jeezus, put down that broken Crown Royal bottle.)”
Soooo true. Soooo sad
chris // Jun 18, 2004 at 12:53 pm
I my god I think I feel suicidal…that was quite depressing. Please tell me what they are saying at the end. Especially when they pass each other in the hallway after the operation and then at the very end at the race track.
t // Jun 18, 2004 at 7:13 pm
he was telling her that they wouldn’t be watching stuart little together anymore!……how sad………
What?!?!?! // Jun 19, 2004 at 2:30 pm
Well…Koreans are suckers for melodrama, or at least that’s what I’ve heard from “My Sassy Girl”.
:: jozjozjoz :: // Jun 19, 2004 at 11:54 pm
Ernie,
I need you to turn me on to the hottest J-Pop around!
Dag // Jun 20, 2004 at 12:32 pm
Aww! That’s so sad… I had to watch it twice; the first time I closed the window right before she spilled the stuff in here eyes because - well - I’m an emotional wimp, I guess.
Definitely a weird subject for a music video though… at least, by American standards…
Anatole France // Jun 21, 2004 at 2:36 am
If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Sage // Jun 21, 2004 at 3:06 am
My sister’s soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend is a Korean American so a few months back, she decided to watch some Korean tv-series to get a taste of… I dunno…something I guess.
Turns out that EVERY SINGLE SCENE had someone crying in it! The boy, the girl, the neighbor, step-brother, dog, cat… EVERYONE. That went on for 15-episodes. It’s very depressing. Even my mom, who’s really into tragic tales, couldn’t take it after a while.
jackie // Jun 21, 2004 at 8:38 am
thank god for ernie’s amusing posts. they make mondays much better after a good guffaw. *yes i used guffaw, i’m a geek, and so is Ted.*
jay // Jun 21, 2004 at 2:09 pm
ernie,
it’s worth it for HGTV. surely you indulge in home and garden makeovers?
DK // Jun 21, 2004 at 6:59 pm
Elsie is right. KISS’ “Because I’m a Girl” encompasses all of Ernie’s aforementioned bullet points. It’s the formulaic Korean video. And yet, it won me over. /sniffle/
I’m in Korea right now. Ern, want anything? Something BoA, I’m guessing.
james // Jun 22, 2004 at 2:17 pm
omg it’s so true. i wish i got a channel that showed asian pop music videos up in canada =[
turkeydinner! // Jun 22, 2004 at 7:46 pm
Cable TV
Just like how Ernie is experience cable TV for the first time in a few years, I am too. My…
dailytofu // Jun 23, 2004 at 12:13 am
actually, there’s an even sadder korean mv. there’s this girl who fell in love with a photographer. she went to his house/studio and accidentally knocked over the table and some chemicals splashed onto her face and hurt her eyes. she woke up with a new pair of eyes and the photographer’s eyes were bandaged.
ever notice that the saddest mv always takes place in winter?
dailytofu // Jun 23, 2004 at 12:14 am
actually, there’s an even sadder korean mv. there’s this girl who fell in love with a photographer. she went to his house/studio and accidentally knocked over the table and some chemicals splashed onto her face and hurt her eyes. she woke up with a new pair of eyes and the photographer’s eyes were bandaged.
ever notice that the saddest mv always takes place in winter?
dailytofu // Jun 23, 2004 at 12:17 am
apparently you’re talking about the same mv… duh… but this one is soo long ago.
slurpee // Jun 24, 2004 at 3:47 pm
hi ernie, please VOTE FOR MIMI!
and please help spread the word.
http://www.vaxtvshow.com/castingcall/votegirls.php
thank you, thank you!
Johnny // Jun 26, 2004 at 12:11 pm
post boy, post. I’m addickted to this place and you hardly post.
Farid // Jun 27, 2004 at 5:39 am
wow..you’re still going strong. bravo
wenzi // Jun 27, 2004 at 3:07 pm
in the group, Morning Musume, they have to quit when they reach a certain age, so I think the oldest is 21~22 years old.
Louie // Jun 27, 2004 at 5:30 pm
I grew up on mv and can’t exist without ‘em…
Gil // Jun 28, 2004 at 3:20 pm
I can’t believe that you didn’t even give out the network’s name so that all your homies could check it out… International Channel, baby!
DK // Jun 29, 2004 at 2:25 am
Sup Ern.
More goodies from Korea coming your way when I get back. I got this BabyVOX 2004 Special that comes in a package with–get this–a Tupac CD. LOL. I’ve also got Eugene’s (from SES) first album and a random BoA Single.
Much fun will be had by all.
alan // Jun 30, 2004 at 5:25 am
is it sad that i know exactly which videos you’re talking about and have a burned CD of morning musume?
bum // Jul 1, 2004 at 9:24 am
ernbear. I’m back from Korea, and I brought back a CD for you. I don’t think you’ve heard it yet, and I’m sure you’ll get a kick. Hint: no girls, no boyteens, no sappy power-ballads (though I dig them myself).
kel // Jul 2, 2004 at 5:48 am
I share your frustration with the domination of sappy asian pop music/mtvs, but that MTV by KISS made me wistful. Maybe because it’s rare to find someone who loves you more than they love themself nowadays. Besides, the composition and editing was effective.
皇朝娱乐 // Jul 18, 2004 at 8:41 pm
http://www.rmbrmb.com
http://www.rmbrmb.com/map.asp
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Jordi // Nov 12, 2004 at 4:10 pm
I have just watched the Kiss video Because I am girl, the video where a man donates his eyes to his girlfriend.
It’s really touching and lovely. It is very curious this oriental sense of the tragic. You can notice it when reading Manga comics from Takahama or Taniguchi. I got no clue of the reason why. Maybe you can help me. Maybe it’s just a religious heritage. Live seems so fragile that culture helps Korean people to deal with the death and the tragic. I find it this feeling amazing. Live is good even if sometimes it is a little cruel and painful.