little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

Posted
17 July 2006 @ 2am

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in reno

I’m in Reno, Nevada, as a last-minute trip for my mothers birthday. I’m in my hotel room blogging instead of gambling because I’m suffering from sensory overload - I just came back from Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago for a friends wedding - so while my mother hems and haws about how she lost a whopping seven dollars playing penny slots, I’m here in my safe cocoon of geekdom, away from neon lights and buffet signs and oxygen tanks.

Observations about the Atlantis Hotel and Casino, Reno Nevada

  • While my mother knows I smoke, I refuse to smoke around her. When I don’t smoke for an extended period of time, I will get fantastically cranky. This has nothing to do with the Atlantis hotel, but I just wanted to throw that out there right now.

  • The sentence “I’m reading a book called ‘MY SON IS A HOMOSEXUAL.’ It’s not very good.” will kill a car conversation INSTANTLY.

  • A hotel and casino in Reno is just like a hotel and casino in Las Vegas, except the folks here look like they could be working at a Walgreens or a Costco or a Comcast paying station in east Oakland. At least in Vegas they put on the fake veneer of courtesy, whereas here they’ll answer all your questions with “whatever, next person please” and not give you eye contact.

  • This made for some, uhm, customer dissatisfaction when I ran down to the front desk, complaining that my drivers license and credit card was lost. (Oh, PS, Paula at the front desk? You should really do something with those acre of bangs on your face.)

  • Hooray for tacky casino comforters

    Thankfully, my drivers license and credit card were NOT lost, because they were camouflaged on this fantastically tacky comforter I’m sitting on right now. There’s a lot of orange and yellow and hot pink fish and kelp and seahorses; think Monterrey Bay Aquarium with a 70’s porn filter on LSD.

  • My mother got lost at the buffet. As in, she was wandering around with a tray of food for 20 minutes, looking for the table we were assigned. I’m going to attribute that to the poor buffet layout rather than the fact that she might be turning senile.

  • There’s a video slot machine based on “Pompeii,” except instead of a massive volcano burying villagers alive with toxic ash, it shows a massive volcano showering villagers with gold coins and a cumulative jackpot. Uhm… that’s kinda fucked up.

  • Similar to the cruise ship, a good majority of the patrons in this casino are elderly people here on a slots tournament. A slots tournament is just like a sports tournament, except instead of athletes, they’re old people with oxygen tanks and they’re smoking cigarettes. Oh, and there is absolutely NO skill involved.

Now that I think about it… it’s 2:30am and she’s not back at the room yet. I think I’m going to look for her. (I swear to god, next year for her birthday, we’re going to the park.)


14 Comments

Posted by
Joe.My.God.
17 July 2006 @ 10am

My favorite machine at the Reno Atlantis is the ginormous Elvis-O-Rama that plays Blue Suede Shoes when you hit a jackpot.

It’s a-one for the money, two-for the show…


Posted by
Jesse!
17 July 2006 @ 12pm

Dude, $7 is totally seven HUNDRED pennies… make sure she always sticks to pennies…


Posted by
tim
18 July 2006 @ 7pm

Spent a semester at UNR, and it was the worst 5 months of my life. Since the University is ON THE “STRIP”, it was an easy block or two to being accosted by homeless people looking for cigarettes.

The upside? Two block from my dorm was the Silver Legacy casino and the arcade which had Killer Instinct 2. *sigh*


Posted by
Annet
20 July 2006 @ 3am

I was laughing hard, my stomach hurts when i read your mother was lost at the buffet. Atleast i wanna go there once in my life to experience the same. And i think it would be quite easy to dodge a person over there if you ‘re really not interested in his company. Sounds funny! No!!!!
dodge


Posted by
Donny O
20 July 2006 @ 11am

So wait…your wallet is covered with orange and yellow and hot pink fish and kelp and seahorses?


Posted by
Daniel B. Sherman
21 July 2006 @ 10pm

I think your mother has’nt accepted the fact that she IS A MOTHER. Her freaking attitude made me say so, but that’s noways weird rather i would love to have a mom like yours. Let her enjoy and dont plan to take her to a park on her next birthday, she isnt older enough….:-)older


Posted by
len
22 July 2006 @ 12pm

hello i’m len and i’m ernie’s blogaholic!!! hahaha. your blogs are so hilarious! your musings are keeping me awake and laughing by myself at night! nice work. don’t stop. you bring humor to your readers’ routined lives. more power!


Posted by
Agent Adam
24 July 2006 @ 10pm

LOL! Dude! You stayed at Atlantis? Did you at least go to that sushi place in the sky bar that I told you about? -Like the $14.99 all you can eat BEST FUKKIN’ SUSHI in the whole world bar? Seriously! -Hope to see you soon. Hugs!


Posted by
Connor
25 July 2006 @ 10pm

You know i m sitting on a fence, unable to decide which side to go. I really want to pity you when i heard you were blogging rather than gambling. But truly i dont wanna blame your mother for all this since she too has the right to enjoy as she wish. But make sure she always stick to pennies sine $7 is seven hundred pennies…..fence


Posted by
fida
26 July 2006 @ 3pm

paradise lies under the feet of a mother!

fida . . .


Posted by
Brandon
26 July 2006 @ 6pm

hmmm…have a nice time there


Posted by
conrado
27 July 2006 @ 2pm

Slot machine tournaments are crazy fun. I made it to a slot machine semi finals while on a Celebrity cruise where the median age was post-retirement, and my prize was a very unremarkable dice key chain. You’re right–absolutely no skill is involved. Unless you consider having an appendage to hit that button over and over a “skill”


Posted by
Dave Barry
29 July 2006 @ 4am

Take tons of pics and have lots of fun.I m getting excited to see the pics of the hotel and casino and that lovely and humourous moments you shared over here.


Posted by
Legend
29 July 2006 @ 8am

Ohhh, slots make me horny. That “Pompeii” machine sounds terrif. Shower me with coins and I’m yours. I like the SOUND of the machines better than earning the money. Well. Okay, ALMOST as much. But ya gotta admit, a little hot lava now and then is pretty good…


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