little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

knife fight

They installed a Mac in my cubicle two weeks ago, so I can test the web pages I’m working on Mac IE and Safari.

Dirty secret: this is the first time I’ve have a Mac near me for an extended period of time. All the testing I’ve previously done on a Mac consisted of walking over to another persons cubicle - usually a graphic designer, because you know how much they love their Macs - and asking them to load a page in their browser. Ususally, the page doesn’t work on their browser. And usually, I get admonished.

“The page, it looks wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong,” they snarl.

“Oh, I’d test more for Safari browsers,” I say. “But I don’t want to be coming into your cubicle when you’re so busy. I wouldn’t want to bother you.” For full effect, I cover my mouth, giggle and do a little bow. Then I walk back to my desktop machine, roll my eyes, and think up another feature that would work only for Internet Explorer for Windows.

So when the computer showed up in my cubicle, I had no more excuses, I suppose.

Graphic Designer #1: (walking into cubicle) Hey, hey! Look who got a Mac?
Ernie: Yeah. It’s nice, isn’t it? I’m currently using it as a giant paperweight. It holds my papers down nicely.
GD1: (dirty look) You know how to use one of these things, right?
Ernie: Well, everything I need to do, sure. There’s…
GD1: (fidgets with the desktop) Okay, first off: everything is all wrong. See this dock with all the icons? You want them all on the bottom of your screen, like this. You’ll also want to change the settings to get rid of the annoying magnification when you mouse over the icons.

Ernie: Hrm.
GD1: See? Isn’t that better?
Ernie: …Absolutely.

Ten minutes later…

Graphic Designer #2: (walking into cubicle) Ooooh, a Mac!
Ernie: Yeah. It’s for testing code and…
GD2: AAARGH! Your desktop layout is horrible! (takes over the desktop) Okay, why aren’t your icons expanding when I mouse over them? That’s the coolest thing about OSX. And who puts the dock on the left? It should be on the bottom. (starts clicking screen in a frenzy)
Ernie: Hrm.
GD2: You’re all set. Doesn’t it look GREAT now?
Ernie: …Absolutely.

So what would happen if both graphic designers walked into my cubicle at the same time? Would a knife fight break out?

If there were any justice in this world? Yes.

The important question is: Do you have the programs minimize by disappearing into the icons at the bottom as if they were being sucked down a drain? Or as if they were being ripped off of the page?
Sheesh, tell the designers to get their priorities straight.

I say you’d better make sure your plastic knives and forks are securely hidden inside your desk.

And make sure to hide your letteropener, too.

magnification vs. no magnification =
x-acto knife fight

Helvetica vs. Gill Sans =
yelling and bitch-slapping

QuarkXpress 6.0 vs. InDesign 2.0 =
steel ruler grudge match

Macromedia Freehand vs. Adobe Illustrator =
mechanical pen (now dusty) in eyeball

In any case, there will be PMS 208 spilled.

I think the result of those two designers in the same cubicle would be an enormous burst of energy, like when matter meets antimatter. BOOM! No more designers.

No more city, either.

Eric in Seattle

JO1: “See, if you put this window … here … and put the Dock on the right hand side, like … this … it’s a lot easier to surf porn.”

Ernie: (wap - wap - wap) … Absolutely.

Eric in Seattle

Please. Helvetica kicks Gill Sans’ playful-looking font ass any day.

I lost the knife fight for Wordperfect back in the day, myself.

–smug owner of a spankin’ new G5 with huge-ass screen…

We can hope.

They’d probably wield their wacom tablets as shields and the stylus as swords.

I can totally see this scene in my mind. wow. geek wars! i see great cable television reality show potential in this premise. I nominate ernie for host!

It’s the same way every time right?

Remember the Commodore 64 freaks and the Atari guys, even the APPLE ][e folks. Long after the platform has any functionality they still hang gamely on.

My kids, who I consider to be the barometers for this kind of thing, detest working on Macs. “Nothin’ works on them, y’know?”

Me, I say, “let it die, for Christ’s sake”, why would any sane person pay over twice as much for something that can’t do HALF the things a lowly PC can do?

(Just WATCH the iMac afficionados come out in defense!)

Rob “Wow, even I can network PC’s” Farries

So what kinda Mac did ya get?

wow. mac users really are obsessive about their macs.

I say you get them both in your cubicle at the same time and sell tickets. *ding ding* Round one…

Me, I say, “let it die, for Christ’s sake”, why would any sane person pay over twice as much for something that can’t do HALF the things a lowly PC can do?

wow, do you know how ignorant you just sound?

i’d be dammed if i had a friend like you.

– My kids, who I consider to be the barometers for this kind of thing, detest working on Macs. “Nothin’ works on them, y’know?” –

Yeah, ‘cos children are always the better guides to use, not professional computer users.

Incidentally, for those who don’t have a mac and want to test out their websites in safari, http://www.danvine.com/icapture/ will do it for you.

the words “LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!” just came to mind. if they do indeed get into a knife fight, make sure you install a webcam so we can all watch….please.

i wish someone would put a new mac at my desk. you know, with a nice 23″ wide-screen monitor. i like macs for some things, i like peecees for others. eh.

The best way to annoy them–make OS X look as Windows XP like as you can. Right down to Luna’s horrid default desktop background. Seriously, they’d stagger out of there whimpering and sobbing.

Did you read about the black hole eating a star? That was the first, and last, conference of graphic designers in that solar system.
Beats knives every time!

I’m a designer, I like Macs and I wouldn’t care how your dock looked. I would, however, love to stab many of my contemporaries in your cubicle. Of course, you’d probably want to put down some plastic covering first.

Oh, this same dumb fight again?!
Some topics should never be discussed: religion, politics, abortion, and MAC vs PC.
Good for you for at least being accepting of the sleek, beautiful, functional, elegant Mac in your cubicle.

LazyJunk, I’m sorry, I just love to poke fun at Mac users. Truth be known, I’m a MacPhile from way back (I owned a couple Apple ][’s and enjoyed programming them). I just can’t seem to adapt to the Mac environment, PC seems to come much easier for me. Every time I tried to program on a Mac it chewed me up and spat me out.

Maybe one day…

Rob

no, no, no. you all miss the point. it hasn’t been PC vs Mac since 1998. and besides, what the hell is a Mac if it’s not a Personal Computer. the real distinction is Unix(-like) vs Windows. (and in case you’ve been asleep, MacOSX is Unix) and everyone knows that the Internet runs Unix, and you can do whatever you need to do in Unix, even edit files from MS Office. Windows is good for nothing except games, and you could save yourself much pain and suffering if you just bought a PS2 or even an X-Box if that’s what you’re after. in a few years, if MS doesn’t release Longhorn soon, IE will be nothing more than a bad dream. </rant>

funniest thing I ever saw was 3 software developers shout “macs suck”.. and then bump elbows and slap hi-fives all around. boy do they love their pc’s

Ernie, you’ll probably enjoy this:
Having fun with the ‘Genie’ minimizing glitch”
It’s a trip. Call a mac guy over after doing this and say “Dude, this page is really fucked up in Safari. Look!”

MAc are horrible. Endless debate. Mac have some cool ass features. But pc do to. Honestly though if i were to buy a laptop i would get mac won’t have to spend half my battery life trouble shooting it. Where as some times i need to right click damn it. Love to see Mac only user look at a 2 or more buttom mouse. The hold like like it infected with something. I will say though once you understand how a mac thinks you will be able to program so safari isn’t all mad at you. I understand a mac, but like the pc…

YOUR DOC IS TO DAM BIG.

Here look I made it smaller. When you put your mouse over it will get bigger … look. OOOOOO

Why do you still have the dam defalt background. That thing looks like shit. Use a photo you taken or something.

O dude check out iChat man that shit rules.

dude, I need at least a 3 button mouse to use X (as in X Window, the traditional Unix GUI, in contrast to MacOS X), so the trackpad on an iBook is decidedly deficient, although I can get by with the modifier keys. luckily, all I have to do is attach a Logitech USB mouse and MacOS X knows what to do. right-click=CTRL+mouse button, middle-click=CTRL+SHIFT+mouse button. the scroll wheel works automatically. I don’t have to install drivers, reboot, deinstall the trackpad driver, screw with the registry, screw with the BIOS settings, nothing. It just works.

[Windows-free since 1998, and now x86-free, too. Kick the habit, buy a Mac. or at least install Linux.]

i like my mac (pumps fist in the air forcefully)

and i want to be a graphic designer when i grow up!!

shwing

Any idiot knows the Dock belongs on the RIGHT hand side of the screen.

And Rob F., the only thing my Mac can’t do that my Windows box does (I still use both) is crash.

Every time I programmed anything the least bit complex with a Mac it would lock up tighter than a cat’s ass. If you can’t crash a Mac, then you really must not be trying.

But if you’re not programming them, I agree, the Mac is a MUCH friendlier environment.

rob:

first of all, apple ][ != mac.

and what kind of “programming” are we talking about here? vbscript? lol.

you must not be talking about mac os x… in fact, i don’t think you know what you’re talking about at all. sigh.

i guess macs suck for programming… which makes me wonder why i see more and more powerbooks at geek gatherings such as javaone, and more mentions of mac os x in slashdot and arstechnica.

you should ask your kids who to vote for this november, too.

Anyone seen the new pretty user change in mac OSx 10.3 or something. It perdy… All 3d and stuff.

aj

thanks for the bitch-slap, man

yer right tho’ I probably don’ know what ah’m talking ’bout, h’yuck

my kids’ step-dad is into Macs, maybe he can set them straight

when I was in high school, I hated Macs. You’re not cool if you don’t. Bought one a year after graduating. Love it. Not to say PCs are bad. My lil Dell still rocks and doesn’t crash often at all. And to those who say development sucks on a Mac, I say bah! See comments above for reasoning.

Message from Mom (Chinese as always in italics):

Erneeee, why are you not posting mini-blog for 3 days. I thought you were dead! Are you OK? Are you eating?

P.S. Read more book!!!!

Wait. WAIT WAIT WAIT. Hold on.

…Yahoo employs graphic designers?!

re: Yahoo employs graphic designers?!

I thought they were only allowed to use Windows 3.1 paint program.

I use a Mac and I can’t stand the Mac zealots. They are moonies. You hear me? MOONIES. I don’t care that Apple knows how to make iPods the size of a eight-week-old fetus, I want an OS that knows how to use my fonts without crashing or screwing everything up in my system.

You want to give the designers a heart attack? Install Virtual PC on their systems and make them use Outlook. I guarantee at least one designer will have a bowel movement at his desk.

i love my macs! i [still] have the original ibook (it’s almost 4 years old) and a pretty new emac (it was all i could afford but worth every penny) and they’ve never given me any trouble sadly whoever made the comments about the mouse was right. i’ve had my logitech 3-button optical wheel mouse for years now and it rocks ^_^ i love right-click, can’t live without it.

however. there’s no need to be killin’ people over computers… really… even if it is entertaining

Hey, Ernie, I hide my dock.

If you really want to give your designers a heart attack, tell them I have Mozilla set to display all fonts except monospace as Verdana 16pt, and display all text in at least 16pt. Readability rules the day!

Hey, Ernie…

I just made a copy of this for the resident Mac guy. He’s pretty cool, and used to be all PC, before he went to Academy of the Arts College in SF… Now we spend the day arguing about which platform is superior rather than getting work done. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun procrastinating!

F~

Heh, Mac the Knife just sprung to mind.