little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

more thoughts about being a homeowner

• If I hear one more comment from somebody, saying “Congratulations, homo…wner!” I will cut them. Seriously.

• The amount of junk mail I have now rivals the amount of junk e-mail I have. It’s kinda unsettling, actually - it’s a mix of Penny Savers and catalogues for expensive wooden window treatments and stuff like that. The most unnerving junk mail, though, has to be the truckloads of letters that I get that say “PLAN ON DYING SOON? BUY MORGAGE DEATH INSURANCE SO YOUR LOVED ONES WON’T BE STUCK PAYING A QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS FOR YOUR CONDO!”

  Needless to say, my immediately family had better hope that I don’t get hit by a truck or something. “What? Ernie struck by car?” My dad would ask when the policeman shows up at his door. “That OK. WHAT, WE PAY QUARTER MILLION DOLLAR!? UNTHINKABLE!!”

  Anyway.

• I have, all of the sudden, have been on the faggiest interior decorating kick in my entire life. I’ve lived with milk crates for bookshelves for the past seven years and a ratty twin mattress since high school, and after buying a computer table and a queen mattress and frame, I’ve been desperate to find the time to browser other pieces of furniture.

  This is to be expected, I suppose. But what freaks even me out is the fact that I’ve also been looking at accessories. I’m watching HGTV, and I just bought Trading Spaces, the book. (Who fucking buys Trading Spaces, the book? I’ve only watched one full episode of that show with the GLAD bags girl.) I even look at those faux Asian accessories in IKEA showrooms and think, “what better way to identify with my Asian American culture than fake bamboo and photocopies of calligraphy, with a white matte and black metallic frame?” And then I bury my face in my hands and cry in shame.

  Hell, even candle shopping has caught my interest. Candles! (And begin active imagination… now.)

(The scene: Four African-American women are in a living room, in their nightgowns. They are sitting on the couch, behind a coffee table full of glasses of wine and about fifteen million candles. Whitney Houston’s “Shoop” is playing in the background.)

Angela Bassset: We’re strong, proud, African-American Women. We don’t need no man to feel secure.
Whitney Houston: You said it girl.
That chick from Boomerang: Amen.
Random 4th woman: Mmm-hmm.
Whitney Houston: (As she does another line of coke)… who the hell is this Chinese boy sitting here?
Ernie:Uhm, ladies? You’re in my living room.
Ladies:Oh, hells naw!

So that’s where I am right now. More suggestions on places to furniture-shop, however, are always fabulous welcome.

Welcome to homeownership. In some ways, it never stops. It’s probably worse for us–with a house–but, either way, there’s always something to be done/bought.

You should try remodeling. That seems endless!

I bought a flat last year, and was teased like mad for being a Rich Capitalist Homeowner, while I was saying I was just paying a high rent to the bank ’till I’m 62. I know it’s not *exactly* that, but it is
Anyway, you *do* tend to plan more improvements and are less lazy about changing things around the bathroom, getting some heating, etc. that you don’t do when renting…

…Whenever I get the money to do it

POTTERY BARN
POTTERY BARN
POTTERY BARN
POTTERY BARN
POTTERY BARN
POTTERY BARN
POTTERY BARN
and Restoration Hardware too!

I agree with Mir… Pottery Barn.
Trading Spaces is like crack. Watch it a couple of times, and you’re sitting through them for the rest of your life.

Re aurea’s comment above - not wanting to hijack this comment thread into a discussion of political philosophy, but I’ve always thought people owning their own homes is a much more socialist situation than renting. Renting is a near-perfect example of capitalism: one person owns lots of property, rents it out, and gets money for doing pretty much nothing.

My wife’s favorite catalog is Ballard Design. I think West End has some modernish stuff for not too much money, not that it is high quality.

Maybe it’s my inherently bad taste; maybe it’s my poor-ass student budget. But I thought these Blik adhesive decorations were a pretty cool and easy decorating idea.

Let me know when you are available to be introduced to Z Gallerie @ Santana Row. Matte and I found a *KICK ASS* couch there. Plus there have lots of cool accessories.

….and no homo would be complete without a trip to Crate & Barrel!

bah! it’s all about Robert Redford’s Sundance Catalog of overpriced weathered furniture! You think I’m kidding? Redford explains himself… and my favorite piece has to be the Weather-beaten Cabinet! for $600, or the Painted Night Stand, complete with hay to cover your floor (for that down-home barnyard feel!)

Happy Shopping!

Ernie, do you have IKEA? USE IKEA. IKEA IS GOD. Then you can paint everything pink like I did when I went there.

West Elm!!!
Inexpensive tasteful mod/asian-influenced. They deliver, simple assembly
http://www.westelm.com

Don’t do IKEA. The furniture is exactly what you would expect assemble-yourself furniture to be. Crap.

Personally, I like to shop vintage/second-hand/”antique” stores myself (if the store actually bills itself as an antique place, you will not get good deals). Just yesterday I bought a fantastic old maple hutch that will look gorgeous with a coat of paint.

Okay– I’m really poor, but I hate shopping at Ikea. Go fig.

I would try Marshall’s or Home Store. Home Store is actually a subsidiary of Marshall’s but it’s a really good way of getting amazingly expensive stuff at not so expensive prices. Turkish cotton towels… Mmm.. luxury.

For a bit more pricier furniture, try restorationhardware.com or crateandbarrel.com

When you flip through your IKEA catalog, you should ask yourself questions such as, “What kind of dining set defines me as a person?”

IKEA is good for some pieces, but beware of the particle board. The wood furniture we’ve bought there is pretty solid.

I also recommend Z Gallerie. Not overly expensive (like Pottery Barn) but still good.

oh, and if you’re feeling domestic, here’s a cross stitch project for you.

Don’t do IKEA Ernie!! Just say no. You spent many wonderful years living like a college student with Paris in your IKEA apartment. Now you own your own place. You can graduate from that CRÄÄP. If you want Asian furniture, just shop in Shanghai. You can get great authentic furniture for great prices.

Try http://mocoloco.com/. You will have to buy a piece then frantically try to arrange everything else in your homo, er, home to work with it….but it’s good fun stuff.

Since you’re making the big bucks I’d say Scandinavian Designs and Restoration Hardward. I cream myself whenever I walk past a SD store. Seriously.

Unfortunately the GLAD woman is not Paige Davis, annoying twat of Trading Spaces. But they’re so identical I wonder if they weren’t spawned from the same evil cloning device.

Design Within Reach has a catalog/web/showroom to visit, but are insanely expensive. I’m not sure who they are designed to be within reach of. But still fun to window shop at.

some of the places on Filmore (SF)- near Japan Town have some AMAZING furniture and ‘nick-nacks’. Not chain-store I’ll just copy what the next guy is selling kind of stuff. Really unique well made stuff.

I have to admit though, thatI like Ikea - considering I furnished my entire one bedroom apartment for less then $3000 shopping there three years ago. If you’re on a budget you just can’t beat it. And the washable slip covers!! Hello - I often have as many as 4 kids over at the house, and I have a YELLOW couch. (Ok - ok, so _I_ was the one who spilled BBQ sauce all over it, but that’s beside the point) Three years and it’s still yellow.

“…I’ve been desperate to find the time to browser other pieces of furniture.”

Heh.

Ernie, you ought to head into San Francisco and spend a few hours at all of the furniture shops over around 9th @ Harrison. There are a whole bunch of them covering several blocks in that area.

If you want modern artsy stuff they have that, they have traditional big wood furniture, they also have a bunch of really cool retro 50’s and 60’s stuff.

You can get some pretty good deals because a lot of them carry the same things so you can check the price in one store, walk up the block and demand they cut you a break because someone else has it cheaper.

Some of this stuff is a little pricey, but since you are a homeowner now, I think you are above buying cheap shit at Target and IKEA. There is just something inherently wrong with buying a condo for 300 or 400K and then putting a dining table in that cost $100 with some assembly required.

It’s good to see you’ve come out of the closet Ernie– Just accept the fact that you’re a property owner, and then start living the life! Throwing wild parties, redecorating, remodelling, etc, etc…

Now you have just a taste of it; try buying a home, fixing it up, then selling for profit. It’s THEN you become someone truly reviled: The Land Redeveloper.

P.S. If you’re going to do ANY remodelling, may I suggest a truly sexy sink? Elkay’s Mystic line: (http://www.elkayusa.com/new/)
$1400.00 for a sink, but, for the next house I build, I’m buyin’ one! =D

Ernie…run screaming from Pottery Barn and Ikea. Everyone will have the same living room pretty soon and that is so boring! It is great to look at their catalogs for ideas, because they do have interesting designers and you can learn a lot.

It is better to buy one GREAT piece of furniture at a time and have it be the centerpiece of the room, than to clutter it up with cheap stuff. Go to 9th and Harrison. Go to a book store and read up on vintage furniture and then go hunting through thrift stores…try “donation for a cause” type stores in upscale neighborhoods. Check out Cassona and other small stores that are trying to get a foot hold.

Getting rid of furniture that you end of hating is an expensive waste and a pain. Hunt around for the stuff you love.

p.s. HGTV IS addicting. Avoid it. Their “makeover in a minute” cheap solutions fall apart in 10 minutes. Anything put together with a staple gun? No. No. No. Change out light fixtures… use soffits, trim and architectural details which make a room so interesting that the only furniture you will need is a gorgeous rug.

After reading the sincere and somewhat amusing posts…Ernie…I decided that you need to purchase saw, hammer and nails…and get on with it!…BE CREATIVE as hell…and just think what conversation pieces you’d posess…others would be so JEALOUS! Uh huh!

“what better way to identify with my Asian American culture than fake bamboo and photocopies of calligraphy, with a white matte and black metallic frame?” And then I bury my face in my hands and cry in shame.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

One tip I heard that sounds interesting, get one big, expensive and impressive piece that you love, then plan the rest of the room around that item. It’s better than having a room full of furniture that is okay. In other words it is better to have one great piece of furniture than a room full of passable furniture.

Bombay Company!!! It’s rich and exotic….But then again, one can never beat the fabulousness of IKEA. IKEA is god. LOL! But yes, Bombay Company = Good shite!

Hmm….Where else…Hmm….Don’t go to Pier 1. It’s overpriced for novelty crap. BAH.

ikea is evil!!! overrated pieces of crap… it looks like that stuff will fall apart if you touch it. you are better than ikea, ernie

Pier 1 Imports - http://www.pier1.com/home.asp - when I bought my house I went nuts here. It puts Ikea on its ass. If you are going to get the fake asian stuff - then it should at least look authentic.

hi. you don’t know me. i don’t know you… well, i’ve been reading your blog. thus, i consider you my brother from another mother. so i’m gonna give you some furniture advice.
west elm
dwr
(they’re just a little more metro than pb and less dissolvable in water than ikea)
and if you’re wanting something to put behind the new blojaab door, here’s a loverly bench.

“I even look at those faux Asian accessories in IKEA showrooms and think, ‘what better way to identify with my Asian American culture than fake bamboo and photocopies of calligraphy, with a white matte and black metallic frame?’ And then I bury my face in my hands and cry in shame.”

Justin Chin, queer SF poet/essayist/performance artist once wrote of going home to trick with white guys and finding their places decorated in “the oriental motif from hell.” Don’t do it, Ernie!

I second The Bombay Company…very cosy and rich looking.

I don’t know if you have Urban Barn where you live, but check them out if you do. They just opened a store near me and I am agog at the accessories there. I just picked up a chrome magazine rack from them and I love it!

Hmmm . . . I’ll have to put in a holla for Pier 1 and World Market. They have some imported furnishings and accessories that are cheaper, better quality, and more unique than most chain stores. Not necessarily “high” quality, mind you - but good for the price.
I’ve found it is a MUCH better deal to find good antiques (especially stuff from like 1900-1940) that were still made with solid wood and jointed construction and craftsmanship (some you may want to refinish or repaint, really easy to do)- OR to buy new imported furniture made in places like India, Thailand, and Mexico - than to buy new crap from Ikea (which we refer to as “disposable furniture”) or overpriced dreck from places like Pottery Barn or Crate & Barrel, which is constructed poorly and will just make your place look like everyone else’s. They are The Gap of interiors.
Really - go look at the Pottery Barn or Restoration Hardware or C&B offerings.Then go look at some large antique dealers (and keep in mind the “marked price” at such places is usually 30% higher than they will negotiate for) - and at some of the shops selling imports. You will see the same exact furniture for much less - AND it is made so much better. In fact, it cracks me up that a lot of the Pottery Barn merchandise is “aged” to give it “character” . . . you can find lots of antiques with a few nicks and dings that really look much nicer, will last decades, and cost much less than the reproductions. Another good source is to go to “Estate sales”(which is what they call garage sales in posh neighbourhoods.) If you see something you like on, say, Saturday morning - go see if it is still there Sunday. A lot of times these families or the Estate Sale companies just want to get rid of everything, and you can strike some real bargains. For imported furniture - see if there is a “design district” near you - many wholesalers will sell to individuals at cost or a little more, tons cheaper than what the designers charge their rich clients for “exotic” furnishings on markup.
If you have any imagination at all, I would run screaming from PB (as far as furniture and fixtures go - I’m sure they’re a fine place if you want glasses or something.)
“That chick from Boomerang” - hahaha you crack me up.

you all talk like ernie is broke. he is a web developer. they are all rich. well.. thats what they told me in college.

Hahahaha Fred! I love your comment! I was told lots of things in college too….

Ernie…don’t buy everything from one store…that’s the real trick…mix and match and blend. Otherwise your home winds up looking like a Pottery Barn, Restoration Hardware, IKEA, etc. advertisement. Take a few pieces from here….and a few pieces from there and you’ll come up with your own look. And, yes…the last time I was in SF, the area of Filmore Street had some really great, unique homegoods shops. Best of luck!

What kind of dining set defines me?

Don’t be sucked into the IKEA Universe. You are not your car, you are not your dining set, you are not your fucking khakis.

that was like the 3rd comment with a fight cluib quote…. but i stil cant get enough of that movie.

are you technically a “homeowner” if you own a “condo”?

a house/home for me means a structure that’s completely detached from any other structures and that you can own free and clear. i can’t stand paying the month “homeowner’s association” dues that are required of condo ownership.

based on that, i’ll never be able to own a home in the bay area. that’s why i’ve turned my attention to snatching up “virtual properties”

Haven’t been to this blog in a LONG while. A YEAR? Blashphemous.

Well, this is the first time I’ve looked at this blog. This year. Yes, yes, I know, I should be spanked.

And I have this to say about the blog.
(and the commenters)

You people are absolutely, positively, silly.

God bless you all.

Now back to lurking.

Sorry, I rent :-/

Hey, I totally dig candles.

Of course, I don’t actually have any at my place. But that’s beside the point.

Honey, you live in SF and don’t know where to buy furniture? First, me tell you what *not* to do: Pottery Barn and Pier 1. That’s trashy, and if I were a date seeing your living room I’d rule you out right there.

You COULD do Crate & Barrell if you can’t find anything better, but you can, because you’re in SF. Just Walk down Hayes St. in Hayes Valley and go to *any* of the stores there and you’ll be a MILLION times better off.

Ernie, go buy furniture and decor that you find functional and comfortable, wherever and whatever that may entail for you. C’mon, it’s furniture, not a personal statement of being. Unless you’re honestly trying to attract those who would judge your worth as a human being upon what socially-fashionable trappings you currently surround yourself with; in that case, knock yourself out. Methinks something basic shriveled and died inside those individuals a while back, though.

the best place is oyster bed in san fran. it’s on ohio or something.

Well the gay guys on my street swear by Pottery Barn mixed with old antiques–geez I’m so jealous of them. But check out Rooms To Go, not all of their stuff is cheesey. It’s a limited selction but you can buy a whole room that works right off of the showroom floor. Great accessroies–I’m just sayin’ give it a try.

In the city:
EQ3, Limn (for furniture that costs as much as your mortgage), and Therapy

Are there people out there who are actually so stupid and inconsiderate that they would say “homo-wner” and think it’s FUNNY? Criminy, someone has to come up with a counter-retort, a.s.a.p.

Why does everyone hate IKEA? My Swedish half is offended. =/

Nooo! Take a flight here to NC, and get to High Point. Amazing discounts.
I know you have all the time in the world

two words.

bean bags.

“…who the hell is this chinese boy…?”
pardon me while i wipe the coffee off of my monitor.
damn you, ernie. you are too bloody funny!
congratulations hom–oops!

There are ways to cut down on the junk mail. I don’t really know them all specifically, but I know someone who does. He’s cut down his junk mail to practically nothing. If you’re interested, let me know, and I’ll put you in touch with him.

Things to know:
(1) Advo is responsible for most of the junk mail.
(2) Sending junk mail back in the response envelopes doesn’t really work; it’s just a waste of time and money.
(3) It may take a while, but yeah, if you take the steps to get rid of junk mail, it actually works.

Yes, Ernie is millionaire:

Baker, Kohler or Century. $5000 for a sofa is not much, is it?

Or check McGuire or Widdicomb, if you are really into throwing money to the wind.
Live large!

you think you’ve got problems with “homo” jokes? try calling yourself ‘mobius’ for a day, murph.

I’m on the biggest decorating kick of my life, even though I don’t actually own an apartment (yet).

If you’re into candles & silver & all that glitters, try Target. They do a fabulous 3′-long votive candle holder for mantles or tables. If you have cash to splash, try Bombay Company.

Trading Spaces is great, and the best part is Vern Yip. Hands down, the most talented designer of the bunch. His site is great - beautiful, clean design. Enjoy. http://www.vernyip.com/index.html

P.S. Great blog.

Crate & Barrel is dreck? Oh, hells no! You can get all sorts of yummy stuff from there, as well as the new baby sis, CB2. (CB2 is the more colorful, “value-oriented” sib; read “not as expensive as our regular stuff, but better quality than IKEA.”

I’m a girl, so I can say “yummy.” Yummy blog, BTW.

If you live in San Francisco, definitely check out EQ3 on 9th Street. Very cool, very modern, and very well priced. The people that work there are hot too!!