little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

my civic duty, part 1

So last night, I get this e-mail “encouraging me to go see the upcoming comedy
from New Line Cinema, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, opening nationwide on July 30th.
This film marks the first time a major studio is releasing a project with two Asian American males as the leads.”

Therefore, go see this movie, as it is my civic duty as an Asian American.

Now, I have mixed feelings about this - at times, I do end up watching a movie or reading a book or listening to a music artist, for the reason of “supporting the community.” Sometimes, the movie, book or CD is great, sometimes it’s, well, not so great. I’ll probably watch the movie when it comes out this weekend, but until then, the e-mail has given me something to write about:

Things I have been coerced into watching or buying, solely because I am Asian-American, Part 1
ANY COLLEGIATE FILIPINO-AMERICAN CULTURE NIGHT

Okay, this isn’t true at all; though I am of Chinese decent, I have a lot of friends that are Filipino-American. (Hell, I was one of two non-Filipinos in the 2000 UC Davis Filipino Graduation Ceremonies, but that’s for another blog post.) No one has ever forced me to watch a Culture Night because it was my duty as an Asian American - I attend because those are my friends performing the cultural dances, acting in the skits that give a nod to their Filipino heritage which I respect 100%.

It’s still easy to make fun of, however.

(The scene: A couple of years ago, hour three into a five hour Culture Night performance. There are 500 people in the auditorium, 498 of which are somehow related to one of the 150 performers. The two actors on stage have just completed another emotional Lea Salonga song, to rousing applause.)

Overacting 19 year old female: WHY DO YOU DENY ME, FATHER? AS A STRONG, PROUD FILIPINA AMERICAN, DON’T YOU KNOW THE STRIFE THAT I GO THROUGH IN A SINGLE DAY?! (shakes fist angrily at the spotlight)
Flamboyant 22 year old male, dressed up as the Father archetype: (in thick Filipino accent) HOW DARE YOU SPEAK AGAINST YOUR OWN FATHER LIKE THIS! DO YOU KNOW, AS FILIPINOS, WHAT WE HAVE ENDURED?

(Father slaps daughter, daughter does the universal “fake cry” seen on The International Channel soap operas)

Father archetype: OH DAUGHTER [ed note: yes, he actually addresses her "daughter"] IT IS TIMES LIKE THIS THAT I LONG TO BE BACK IN THE VILLAGE DANCING LA JOTA MONCADENA, A DELIGHTFUL COMBINATION OF SPANISH AND ILOCANO DANCE STEPS AND MUSIC…

(Lights dim, and then raise again, where, like, 75 people go into a Spanish dance number for 25 minutes)

Ernie: They did NOT just settle an argument by going into a dance number.
20 People in the row in front of me: SHHHHHHHHHH!
Ernie: Sorry.

(And to my Filipino friends - yeah, it’s true - I’m totally bitter because UC Davis never had a Chinese Cultural Night. But at UC Davis, that would just be called “the school play!” Ha ha! Here come the hate e-mails!)

At my high school we had “culture week” where we essentially reinforced stereotypes.
German day we all dressed as Nazis.
Mexican day we all took naps.
and of course Chinese day all the bus drivers drove really slow.

Culture weeks are bad the world over. I wonder whether somewhere in Japan, there’s a British guy and an American guy doing cultural dances of similar ilk.

My first “culture” day in the great place known as Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA, they made all us international students (including the classy Brits) do a line-dance to Achy Breaky Heart from Billy Ray Cyrus. Why I still like America, I don’t know…

> They did NOT just settle an argument by going into a dance number.

I thought they only did that in Bollywood movies, you learn something new everyday.

I always loved how multi-cultural day in school was run by the predominantly white administrators. I kept waiting for them to include German culture but I was afraid they’d make us all dress up like the Amish.

For a minute there, I thought it said, “La Jota _Macarena_.” Uh…that’s spanish, right?

For a minute there, I thought it said, “La Jota _Macarena_.” Sadly enough, I know more Macarena than the filipino dances I’m supposed to know.

Ernie conveniently left out that he was also a performer in UC Davis’ Filipino Culture Night. He performed in the traditional Filipino dance called “Hip Hop.” Ernie was a gang member in the scene, very West Side Story. (Ern, you didn’t think you could write a post about PCN and not have one of us bring this up, did you?)

Harold and Kumar had its premier in Cowtown here back in May since we are the headquarters of White Castle.

Went to see it.

Ernie… I think you’ll like it.

And it won’t have anything to do with the main characters being Asian.

Okay, to publicly address Lil’s comments:

- Yes, I did oh-so-conveniently forget to mention that I was in the Hip-Hop portion of the 1996 UC Davis Culture Night.
- I was *NOT* however, a gang manger. That would be the 1997 performance, where as I was “Extra Dancer #38 in the Club”
- NO ONE HAS ONLINE PICTURES, THEREFORE, NO ONE CAN PROVE IT! HA HA HA HA

I wonder how many people are running to their scanners right now…

But you can order the VIDEO from Jeffrey Levich, JBL Video Production, Woodland, CA, 800-840-8273. I’m sure this guy is sitting with a few dozen copies wondering when the orders will come in.

If you do order it, please excuse the writer’s lack of imagination in transitioning cultural dances into the skit. tribal dancing of (hot, college) guys wearing only a loin cloth is just too difficult to seamlessly insert into a modern soap opera on Filipino culture happening at UC Davis.

One of my Filipino friends, Trish, concinced me that I should participate in our college’s annual Asian Culture Night night ’cause they really needed people. Only, by the time she mentioned it the Philipino skit was full and the only one still accepting participants was the Tahitian dance number. I was the only white person in the entire ACN -and- Trish realized she was “too busy” to attend rehearsals so I got to be the only white person who also happened not to know a single other person involved. But, hey, free food and I got to keep a couple of Betas from the table center-pieces.

ahh… PCNs… at my school, participants were chastized for wanting to study for the midterms instead of attending rehearsal… the light skinned Filipinos played the white Americans during the occupation, the dark skinned, half black, half Filipino guy was cast in the tribal dance suite… and pretty much everyone else was in the hip hop suite, including the actors who played old men and women, in full make up… it was sweet…

Apparently, several years ago SFSU had a three day PCN which had a bunch of cool modern stuff like poetry, spoken word, rap, paintings, vidoes and the Invisible Scratch Pickles (no joke)… the following year all that was thrown out the window and the melodrama was back in full effect!

gotta love PCNs… check your local listings… and attend one today!

It’s your civic duty Ernie, you better do it!

Yeah, I can hear you saying “Bite me!” over there.

Really love the blog you have here. Very entertaining. You just might make it yet

man, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. you are the first chinese person i know that knows how to cook adobo and cook it right (although i haven’t actually tasted your cooking, you actually know the true ingredients). oh well, just don’t start coming to work in a ‘bahag’

We have Asia Night for our high school, and the auditorium is pretty much filled up. About 90% of the people there are asian, but the other kids came for the asian buffet, and the asian break dancers. One time, one almost fell off stage. lol

Whew! I’m sure glad my “Supplies” joke didn’t make its way into this post!

I thought one of the guys in the movie was Indian. They ran the previews as “…Starring that Asian guy from American Pie…and that Indian guy from Van Wilder…”

That’s good advertising, if you ask me.

what about the stick dancing? i always found that to be the best part of our filipino-themed school assemblies. that and the hair sprayed bouffants, which was very popular in the late 80s.

Culture Day at MSU, Mankato (in MN) was actually a 1 credit course that all international students HAD to take - I was like “can’t I test out or something like that?” *Sh*t Eating Grin* Anyway, we had to eat crap like “Hot Dish” and bake “Rice Krispie Bars” and watch videos of, “How To Talk Minnesotan” for a whole damn semester… *UGH* Don’t we all just speak English? Hmmmmm

I didn’t want to be the one to say it, but I never did know when to keep my mouth shut, so here goes . . .

G-Fry, sug’, Indians are Asians, since India is located on the Asian continent.

**runs and hides**

I know most people don’t think of them that way, but, alas, they are indeed Asians.

Looking forward to what you think of Harold & Kumar. I enjoyed it, and not because I’m Asian American.

And your observations about Culture Night are so hilarious!

oh no, it’s not just in bollywood.

a lot of filipino movies incorporate song and dance numbers. these numbers are often set on a beach. hilarious, really. especially when you’re drunk.

Kelleah, it’s all just semantics. Remember: India is a SUB continent. IMO, many Indians look closer to Arabs than they do East Asians. So why lump them all together?

I like that Americans differentiate between someone who’s “Indian” and someone who’s [East/Southeast] “Asian.” Better than the Brits, to whom our Indians become “Asians” and our Asians are “Orientals.”

In the Deep South, where I grew up, they still call us Orientals. Now THAT will distinguish a Chinaman from an Indian.

I know that “Chinaman” is supposed to draw my Chinese ire but I laugh whenever I hear/read it because it reminds me of The Big Lebowski.

“The Chinaman is not the issue, dude!

Also, Dude, ‘Chinaman’ is not the um, prefered nomenclature”

lol

As for Harold and Kumar I liked it.

dude, harold and kumar… funny movie. absolutely hysterical. (although i do have to warn: people from the east coast will probably find it funnier.)

*argh* yes, ted is making me go and watch harold and kumar too . . . (eventhough he knows i’m broke ass) - are you going to the arcade convention w/ him this weekend? *i still want you to sign my boobies*

I was a trailer for the Whitecastle movie last night, and it actually looks pretty funny. Make sure to post a depreciating review.

there were gay people in davis?

“They did NOT just settle an argument by going into a dance number.”

oooh… they got served!

They got served…..lumpia?

heh.. i thought we (black folks) were the only ones who employed the cooperative-economics-guilt-as-marketing- strategy :-)… nice to be enlightened.

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