little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

nothing and everything again

The dust has settled, I think, though the damage had been done; the stress hives I had this summer have been reduced to unfortunate, permanent battle scars from scratching them so damn much and the giant white elephant in the room has hopefully migrated south, where the weather is a little bit warmer.

I’m learning that when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you build a routine that’s safe and predictable and monotonous and… strangely comforting. When all that ends, you find yourself trying to figure out your next steps and adjusting to little things, like sleeping on the center of the bed and trying to figure out what to do on a Friday night when usually, you would hang out together and watch DVDs.

“You know Ernie, you were single for seven years,” interjects the white elephant. “You could be single for seven more. How old would that make you? Like, 36?”

“Dude, aren’t you supposed to be by the equator?”

“Supposed to be. My bad.” And with that, the figment of my over-active imagination flies away, if only for now.

—–

That being said, I’ve started to hang out with him again, if for no reason than to stop having my emotions manifest itself into something darker. That, and where else am I going to get a bunch of bootleg CD’s, right? So we’re at Mel’s in San Francisco after this video game event.

This guy I know: Hey man. I really liked your post about your parent’s divorce.
Ernie: Thanks.

The Ex: Look at you, blogger celebrity.
Ernie: Naaah, I met him when I did my blog reading a couple of weeks back. Nice guy.
The Ex: What, is someone coming up to you saying that they liked your parent’s divorce kind of having a groupie go up to a DJ and tell them they liked Track 3 of their new CD?
Ernie: Yes, that’s exactly what it’s like.
The Ex: Seriously?
Ernie: No.

I’ll say it again - nothing has changed, yet everything has, and will some more.

I think that when someone says they liked your post and you are a blogger it’s a little bit more like someone saying they liked your band when it played on Public Access last week…but so the F what? They LIKED it. And I liked it. You’re a star…and when you’re a star the elephants are always trying to bring you down. Don’t let them!

You’re a star to me, Ernie. Damn those elephants! Die, die long-nose!!!

The “single for seven years” thing is exactly the kind of thing going through my head when my last relationship ended. Fortunately life has a way of surprising us with cool shit we never expected. I’m confident good stuff is coming your way.

Ernie, dont’ see him for at least 6 months. It will be hard, but trust me on this one. Everyone will say that’s just silly, but really, just trust me on this one. Mourn, be mad, burn things. If you feel like being friends in 6 months, then go for it. If you don’t, you will have Pseudo-Sep (that’s a trekkie-ism, something to do with saucer separation in ST:TNG, forget it if you don’t watch trek). Go for the nice clean break. I’m guessing I’m twice your age. Just trust me on this one. –eric

you ARE a supestar baby, it’s not our fault for being your fans!

Send him to the Equator!

God Ernie your post really resonates with me right now. Thanks. *hugs

Wow, I’ve missed a lot, evidently. I need to get back in touch with you. Email me sometime, or IM me if you see me on (or email me to get my IM hootchie-whatsit). It was great seeing you at B-unit. If you’re there this month, maybe we can actually do more than just say ‘Hi!’ ‘Bye!’

We are all creatures of habit. When once we were a pack of animals, ritual and habit meant stability: a cave to sleep in, a forest trail that offered a supply of game. Remove the creature from its habitat, and you change its source of food shelter. While we like to think of ourselves far removed from a pack of wolves, our base desires and instinct hark back to them.

Overcome the base, Ernie. You’re an intelligent and creative creature of profound insight and emotion. Things will get better, but only if you take the steps to do so. Find a new hunting ground, remove yourself from the habits that occupy your instinct.

Time to gather up some buddies and go a ‘drinkin and partying!

Do you read blogs? Have you met my friend Ernie?

Oh yeah, I forgot. Ernie can’t drink. Ok, just party, Ernie. =b

You are a star. I’ve been reading your blog for five years now, you are famous to me and to lots of others. Thanks for the brilliant posts these past few weeks.

A fan is a fan. So, whether the person of interest is a DJ or a blogger, it’s the same thing. Don’t put down your appeal; you wouldn’t want any of us to do that.

you are a blog celebrity. I felt honored to see you posted a comment on my flickr photo of penis shaped lipstick.

you’re my superstar, ernie!

Besides, you’re also hot stuff.

your next blog post should be set one year in the future, fictionally looking back at all the wonderful things that are about to happen to you.

what do they call that? positive thinking?

Great post enjoyed it as always. Thanks and good luck will both.

Hey ernie, i guess i’m the guy in reference to here, my first quasi-reference.

i didn’t mean it to be like, “hey, i totally dug your parents divorce” — i meant it like i liked that you were totally brave and open with it, that kind of way. sorry if it was totally misconstructed like that. boy is my face red.

Naah, no offense taken, I knew what you meant. I did do a double take the first couple of seconds, though.