post-twl: part 1
Post-Weakest Link Comment, Part 1: Everything is a sham.
Okay, okay. It’s not all a sham. But here’s the deal — it takes anywhere from 90 minutes to two full hours to tape a half an hour show. The majority of the time spent on taping is for the typical quiz stuff, talking with the host (a LOT gets cut in the editing process) and so on. And then you gotta tape the stock footage.
What stock footage, you ask? Well, you know the part of the show where you see people voting each other off? And then the host comes back on the screen and goes “Okay, voting over! Let’s see who everyone voted for?” We’re not actually voting at that moment. After we finish the round, they turn the cameras off, we write our votes down. Then, the camera comes back on and for thirty or so seconds, we pretend to be writing for the person we were voting off — usually, for this extended period of time I’m pretending to write a long sentence, something like “THE QUICK BROWN JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG” or “MR. GAME SHOW HOST’S FACIAL HAIR SCARES ME, DADDY.” George, the host, then returns on screen, says “voting over,” and we all get Emmys for our acting skills.
But wait, it gets better.
While the show is taping, George Gray doesn’t actually tells us the rules to play the game like he usually does on the start of each episode on television. We already know how to play the game and that would take too much time. Instead, they take stock footage of us listening attentively and smiling and it comes together in editing. It’s harder than it looks.
Stage Director: Okay, contestant #3, I need listening and smiling shots. GO!
Ernie: (stares blankly at camera, like a deer frozen in headlights.)
SD: You’re listening… you’re listening… and now… smile!
Ernie: (kind of looks around and raises the corners of his mouth out of sheer will.)
SD: Not bad, not bad. Now, I’ll need you to do that four more times.(Fifteen minutes later…)
SD: Contestant #3, listening and smiling shots version five, listen… NOW.
Ernie: (leans forward, cocks his head to the side, nods. The “I’m at a cocktail party and every single word you utter will cure my baby’s cancer” look.)
SD: and now… smile!
Ernie: (suddenly leans back, sighs. The “I drank a gallon of water and was suddenly relieving myself on stage” look. The audience snickers.)
SD: Eh. Fine, we’ll just use that shot.
Now let’s see if they edit my conversation with George out. If they make me the mute Chinese boy, I’ll be pissed.
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