My Archives: July 2001

Saturday, July 21, 2001

Someone talk to me. I'm pulling another all nighter and I really don't want to be alone.

Posted by Meghan @ 10:38 PM PST [Link]

There are a few things that are pissing me off tonight. Lets start with this guy that has the same first name as me, is going to the same college I am, is actually living on the same dorm floor I am- only a few doors down, has the same major as me (I?) and has this insane urge to only IM me when he has a new design or has some cool T-Shirt design or has some design something. Umm.. Hello. I'm not that good at this webdesign thing. People love my shit but I hate it. I despise it and half the time I want to kick it in the ass. I do not want to see your shit ever again. Its not the fact that this guy is better than me with photoshop- hell I just got photoshop. I'm a free Paint Shop kinda guy. And its not the fact that his designs are prettier than mine, its just the fact that he finds this need to show me shit. I do not get online for you to pitch shit to me. Oh, but he isn't the only one. I get people IMing me to go "Hey, can you look at something for me?" Half the time I don't check the link and if its a .jpg file I'll say "Its nice, I like the colors". I just hope one day it doesn't turn out to be in greyscale or my ass is grass. People on the net annoy me. I try to treat it as if its real life in terms of dealing with people. I try to be respectful and curteous and I try to be .. oh wait since I'm on the topic check out this email I just got:

Hi! How are you?

I send you this file in order to have your advice

See you later. Thanks

Ummm.. thanks but who you be? and how the hell would I open up a .doc.pif ? I'm not even a design devil!! What is a .pif? Anywho... moving a long.

Philo I want to see Hedwig too. I saw something in the advocate when I was at Jeremy's house the other night. (speaking of him I'm very pissed at him right now).

And Meghan I'd like to hear about your spinal tap also.

David sorry to hear about your shitty theater. Our Tinseltown is still in fairly good shape.

ohh.. look at me, trying to be mr. personality interact with others. ohhh!

Posted by James @ 10:30 PM PST [Link]

Catch-up: Yesterday at work a friend called. "Wanna come over and watch a movie?" Sure, I need a break in a big way. I didn't know the movie was The Mists of Avalon til I got there, that we'd be watching cable for four mind boggling Camelot armor ridden hours... It was pretty good all in all. Great acting. I mean how can you say no to a bhuge pagan epic anyway? It just went on and on though. When I got home it was late and I had school this morning. So that is why you haven't heard a peep out of me for a bit.

I'm listening to Fu Manchu and The House Mate is out fetchin some Chinese. Yay! I'm hungry. We're gonna go see Hedwig tonight and I'm PSYCHED!! I saw the play off broadway a couple years ago when I was seeing friends in The Big Apple. I can't wait to see what John Cameron Mitchell ends up doing with it on THE BIG SCREEN! Woo Hoo!

I'm not bored with Puppetmaster. Honest! I will throw this in the mix though. If I write about certain things I'm only a google hit away so I'm being very careful. Huh, Can I say that? type type type. Nope. Shit. I don't mention places I normally go. I don't mention a few people or certain bands I totally fuckin love. Consequently you end up getting a filtered version of Philo, y'know? That is, of course, providing I even really exist in the first place. Suckers. But seriously - if I'm even telling you the truth I bet it might be true for others, right? It's not what we're sayin. It's what we're not sayin. And as my Mama says, "If you're bored it's cuz you're being boring honey. You can change that anytime you want."
Maybe I'll write about her later. She's a trip.

Now I do love me some Nancy in a big way, and Pete had a few good stories that told us next to nothin about who he was. Shea was always good for a crack of some kind. Bob added some spy drama color. But I LOVE a couple of you peeps who are still here - I intend to read anything you have to say for a long long time after Puppetmaster turns into a pumpkin. Majorly talented writers. Then I got a couple others here I wouldn't ordinarily have given much time to, but having read the past two and a half weeks about your daily dramas I'll be tuning in to see what happens in future episodes... I mean Meghan tops my list as most likely to appear on Jerry Springer. It'd be more scary to find out you're not the puppet Meghan then to find out you are. Please tell us all about your spinal tap and while you're at it, tell me why we didn't hear about it til now.

Ted: as a matter of fact yes, i'm giving you all the attention here you deserve.

Mmmm. Brocolli Chicken! Yay! I need to scarf my face and go. That's it from me and I'll tell yuz how the movie is later, MmmKay?


Posted by Philo @ 08:51 PM PST [Link]

Eve I usually use SF when I talk about the bay area, but people here (Oregon) look at me weird when I do. I think it is just because most Oregonians wish Cali would drop of the face of the planet. Also, I am from Oreogn, I have lived here my whole life. I just go to school in Ohio.

Leigh is a girl, a friend from high school, that introduced me to these other people which included the pedophile.

Gah, people are using the oddest search strings to access my site.

Posted by Meghan @ 07:21 PM PST [Link]

I just got asked by the guy I had a fling with if I would move to Virginia to be with him. HA, I have worked too hard to get to college to give it all up for a boy in Virginia, especially a Network Admin (like he'll have that job long). I did tell him he could come live under my bed in Ohio though.

I had a spinal tap a little while ago, and a couple days ago the spot where I got it started hurting. So last night, I come hobblig into the family room and my mom asks me what's wrong. I respond, "My fucking back hurts." "Watch your mouth!" she says. I find it interesting how people will focus in on one word, just one word and that determines their response. Reminds me of a psych case study that you people really don't want to hear about. Plus I know I am boring you already, so why should I bore you even more.

Posted by Meghan @ 07:06 PM PST [Link]

Ok, I’m feeling a little better this morning. My trip was still pretty good even tho I was deathly ill. We stayed in the most gettho hotel ever. I swear, it was half crack house, half hotel. First of all, people were just straight up living there. I heard the police bang on somebody’s door down the hall to open their doors up. There was this women arrested in the lobby who was crying her eyes out and telling the police that she will never go there again if they only let her go. And when I was having a smoke outside, this woman came up to me to bum a smoke, saying that she just got out of jail and haven’t had a cigarette in years. Good times good times.

Actually, the hotel was really cool in a creepy kind of way. It was super old and reminded me of the buildings in those old black and white detective movies with the ceiling fan and the open windows with the fire escape. I had the best time just smoking on the window stall and watching the night light hit the ceiling in the dark.

Oh, and I came up with a new art project idea while I was delirious from my fever. At least something good came out of it.

And Bertie - What do you mean its over between us??? What did I do wrong??? Just tell me, and I swear I’ll change.

Posted by Ted @ 03:58 PM PST [Link]

I'm going to have to agree with me wee babe Ashley on the fact that its kinda snorific around here. Maybe in part to myself but *snap snap* We need some action! As soon as I completely wake up and screw on my smile I'll try and provide some. Maybe we could go the route of my dearest Jodee and link the craziest, most insane porn, or my lover Steve@formerlyatslapmyass.org and just find the hottest guys and talk about them with a few nudies to help along the reading? Wait, so you don't like porn? Or should we all do a design challege and make a theme like "Hot Sauce & Ass"? Because, well, if Huny can do it why can't we?

30 mins until I have to leave for work.... What to say? What to say? Oh, *rambles on* Peter where is he? I agree. nad Philo I never meant to imply that you're not real (this is just comin to me) I realy like your tales/stories/experiences, don't hate me *puppy dog eyes*

Anyways, I'm out until 5 (my time) keep it live, fo'sho'. Word to your mutha. (I'm horribly goofy right now)

Posted by James @ 09:58 AM PST [Link]

So I went to see "America's Sweethearts" yesterday; it was exactly what you'd expect. Good Billy Crystal banter, entirely predictable plot, and a team of special-effects experts that almost manage to make Julia Roberts more attractive than Catherine Zeta-Jones.

What I don't understand is what's happened to the movie theater itself. They seem to do everything in their power to make the movie-going experience as unpleasant as possible. I don't know if it's just theaters in my area, or if it's nationwide--I'd be really surprised if Ashley and Eva have to deal with this stuff though.

  • It starts in the parking lot, already. They've mounted speakers on the light poles, that broadcast music into the lot. I'm sorry folks, I truly don't need music to park by.
  • Then there's the music itself. The parking lot, theater lobby, and individual screening rooms are all hooked into this single channel. It used to be annoying jazzy elevator-type music, but a month or so ago, they switched to this "all pop songs from current movie sountracks" thing, complete with smarmy commentator telling you who's performing and what movie it's in, interspersed with occasional reminders to keep quiet during the film. I wish they'd keep quiet before the film, thank you.
  • $2.25 for a soda? $3.10 for a box of Milk Duds? Idon'tthinkso.
  • Is it just me, or is that "Dolby digital--look how keen our sound system is" sequence they show the scratchiest, worst sound clip in the world? If you're going to run that clip before every single showing, you may want to check it for wear and replace it periodically, people.
  • Speaking of sound, since when did "high fidelity" automatically mean "tooth-shakingly loud"? I really don't need to hear the dinosaurs or lightsabers in the next theater over when I'm watching another movie entirely.
  • Lastly, what is it with the theater crew bursting in to clean up the trash as soon as the credits start rolling? I'm not the only one who likes to sit through the credits, and I get really miffed when some kid with a broom starts sweeping around me while I'm trying to pick out who did the music. It's even happened that they turned off the projection before the credits were through!
So there's my rant for the day. Is this kind of thing happening all over? Is it the same in the big cities, people? Worse? Anybody have any good ideas what we can do about it?

Posted by David @ 08:04 AM PST [Link]

I'm with Ashley. Some of our most interesting players were the first to go, and the game is beginning to turn into a yawn-fest. Our post-count is down, in spite of the limit being raised to 4; I think it's because we're boring each other.

But is sniping the way to fix it? There are more ways to grab someone's attention than with an insult, people. I'll admit I've not been all that witty and interesting myself lately, but I'm sure as hell not going to go calling people nasty names, just for the sake of generating "drama".

So says the "nice guy"--or, as some would have it, the "arrogant prick."

Posted by David @ 07:36 AM PST [Link]

It's funny the way the people act on here. No one's honest at all. Frankly it reminds me of a bad stereotypical group being thrown together...

Me the goth
Eva the druggie
Meghan the bore
Nancy the lesbian
Rachael the bitch
Shea the ADD patient
Bob the pimp
David the nice guy
James the gay guy
Pete the hunk
Philo the drag queen
Ted the raver

We should be on a TV show. It's funny though, because so far there's been no conflict. Rachael, you're being a snob. You just admitted that you don't like some of the people here. Right away this makes you a hypocrite, surface issues or not. I happen not to like you, because you act like a pompous spoiled brat that's better than everyone else.

Would someone PLEASE liven things up or just kick me out of here? I'm getting bored. Oh wait, I will be soon... that quiz is coming up. But seriously folks, make some waves. I'm positive I'm not the only one that sees this game turning into 'absolut' boredom. I'm just the only one that has the guts (or the idiocy) to say it.

Posted by Ashley @ 04:32 AM PST [Link]

Eva I was just looking at the Colour Commentary and wondering about Peter. I should be alseep now. I have to be to work in a few hours so any sleep at this time would be rather pointless. I saw Jurassic Park III today. I have been seeing quite a few movies latley, I think it is just because I actually have money to do so. Well, JP3 was very cool visually but the plot was god-awful but not nearly as awful as JP2.

I spent my two welcomed days off working on my personal site, which has been sort of put on the back burner far too long. I am not nearly finished but a lot closer since Wednesday. I think everything would go a lot faster if I would just do it all in one sitting, but I just don't have the will. When I first started my page almost three years ago I was making a layout almost weekly, now I'm lucky if I get a journal entry up in that same span of time. I need to scan some things, bah...

and before I go I would just like to say Superglue is your friend.

Posted by Meghan @ 02:53 AM PST [Link]

I don't think I want to go to the festival after all, and I said I would help out at it. Dammit. To be honest I'd rather get my room packed up and everything moved. I just want to get this over with. The Procedure was in full swing last night and I stepped into the kitchen just long enough to shovel some breakfast stuff into a plastic bag. Picked up one small box for the sake of symbolism and trudged round to my new place so I could have some peace. New Flatmate is lovely. His only quirk seems to be taking lengthy baths after midnight while listening to Harry Potter audio books. I think I can handle that.

I'm kind of stunned at how fast everything has happened. I've never had a row and just stormed out of somewhere before. It's an odd position to be in. I just want to fast forward a bit and get on with my life now. I don't think I want to be friends with Flatmate 1 after all. Well, maybe I do and maybe I don't. But I think he owes me (and those who left before me) a big apology and has no business throwing blame back at me. And he still hasn't said a word. It's uncomfortable to be there, but fine, I won't have to be around much longer.

So yeah, I collected for Waverley Care outside the Tom Jones gig. He was playing Edinburgh Castle and tickets were £35 each apparently. I suppose those who donated gave a decent amount, but most people just looked right through us. Could it be something to do with being rich and old? I mean, my parents, who are in their sixties, seem to believe that if you have HIV/AIDS you deserve it (unless, of course, you're an "innocent" victim ie. a child or a haemophiliac). It was kind of disheartening but I've got lots more of this to look forward to throughout the festival next month. To top it off, we were selling Tom Jones thongs (dear god ...) for people to throw at him, so there I was with lots of pants draped down my arm when my punk rock friends rounded the corner and had a good laugh at me. Yay.

Bob, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you in my last post, and that you didn't make it further in the game. On a tangent, I bought a Jesus Jones CD the other day, and thought of you.

Damn, so Ashley doesn't like me. That's interesting to me because I see some similarities between us. Maybe it's true that the people who piss you off are the ones most like yourself. Whatever. There are a couple of people in this game that I don't really like, and a couple that I do really like, and ... so what? I've never been one for this whole flaming thing, and I'm not going to start now.

James, I never heard the phrase "eye sex" before. Fabulous.

Hang on, I haven't seen Peter in ages. What did you do with him?

Posted by Eva @ 02:30 AM PST [Link]

Damn, I come home from a early night of glow sticks, fog machines, and pot heads to find out that Rachael doesn't like me? for unknown reasons no less. Oh well, you win some puppets you loose some puppets. I've had people hate me for less (than less?) so Its all good. But hey, if it makes you feel any better I feel the same about you. *gives Rachael some dap*I don't take it personal. They're words nothing more, ya know? So are we all family? *gives a group hug*

Yeah, anyways. Me and Delaney went to Totally Tight Friday Nights. Its our little local "raver scene". It was pretty whack tonight, except I had tons of eye sex with this cute guy I talked to last time. Oh Dems the breaks ya know? Tomorrow We're (plus Christine) are going to go to College night and shakes our asses. Hip Hop saturdays, yo. *bounces his ass*

Current menue, Ted? Cold Popeye's Chicken (2 wings), grape Big K soday, Laffy Taffy and a swiggle of Listerine to top it all off. I eat a lot, and I do mean a lot. Today right before work I ate a 12 nugget meal thing from Chick-Fil-A and 30 mins later I had to run (duh, I stayed on the clock) down to the Great American Cookie Company to get some cookies to nibble on. I had two mall employee (big ass) waters, and a mall employee sprite. I don't know whats wrong with me but I hope my metabolism never slows down.

Bertie is a trip. She is de shite. For real

Twenty-five hours, eight days a week
Thirteen months of the year, is when you speak
I'm tired of listening to the garbage you talk
Why don't you find a short pier, and take a long walk

Posted by James @ 12:00 AM PST [Link]

Friday, July 20, 2001

Ok, I don’t what my puppertmaster has been smoking, but I’ve been on some serious medication because of a nasty 48-hour bug. Rereading those things, I was like "damn, I said those things"? And I was surrounded by beautiful women??? The only girls I saw were my friends feeding me medicine and water while I was lying in bed. Piece of advice for everyone, NEVER post while you’re on codeine because of a 103 fever. And btw, traveling while sick is not the way to go. Ok, I’m going to try and go to bed now before I pass out. *cough cough) will post more later…

And philo - I hope you know I was just bullshitting. You’re actually one of my favorite players and probably the best storyteller. Things here were just getting quiet and I was bored. (and if you would notice, all of those bad things I said about you really doesn’t describe you).

Posted by Ted @ 10:46 PM PST [Link]

I do not like what is happening. I imagine most of you would likely believe I would. I've made my comments. It is not a secret I am not fond of Shea or James. What I read earlier tonight though made me not wish to play any longer. It made me not want to share. I called Nicole and met her at Bauhaus instead.

This game has already brought enough difficulty for me as it is. I do not mind if any of you do not like me. I do not expect everyone to do so. A moment here or there I assume is par for the course. What I have seen tonight though is character assassination. While a single individual in our midst is not real, everyone else is. What was said of Philo or Eva is not funny or even entertaining to me.

Shea and I have had our differences, but they were surface issues which mean very little. Shea is quite humorous actually. She is a talented writer. I will admit having to even look up the word "vapid". (laughing). James, I remain uncertain why I take such issue with something you did. It does not reflect how I feel about you as a person though. Nicole reminded me of the importance of keeping my side of the street clean. I apologize to both of you. None of what I said was personal. I do hope you know this.

I am a bit confused about the topic. Are we to write of someone who lost my trust? Or are we to share a story where one lost trust in me? I will share the latter.

My best friend in elementary school was Mary Ellen. Her family lived next door to us. As a result we were close. She was not attractive and was rather fragile. Her father was an alcoholic. There were nights she would stay at our house to avoid his periods of rage. It was around fifth grade she started gaining weight. When we moved to Middle School others treated her horribly from the beginning. We would talk walking home and she would cry.

My brother, who was two years ahead of me, was quite popular. He was Vice President of his class. Other students treated me differently simply because I was his sister. Mary Ellen was being ostracized while I received a great deal of attention for the first time. We saw one another less and less. My new friends made fun of Mary Ellen in the halls. It was an awful position to be in.

At lunch one day they were saying particularly cruel things in the cafeteria. I listened. I said nothing. One of them noticed and asked why I wasn't laughing. I couldn't breathe. My mouth opened and out came words, awful words about Mary Ellen. I didn't know even know she was standing behind me.
I tried to apologize numerous times. She wouldn't listen. If she had I am uncertain I could have even offered her a satisfactory explanation. It is still something I regret to this day.

Belinda, I am a Taurus. My birthday is May 5th. I wear a size 8.

Posted by Rachael @ 10:30 PM PST [Link]

So, Ted, we're getting dirty now, are we? I think I'll follow suit.

I do not like Eva. She talks way too much, about the most boring shit in the whole world. Every single post just screams "I am so cool because I live in the UK. You are not angsty green haired and a pornstar like me." And the toffee yoghurt fiasco? Clean the fucking stuff up already. Reader, do you leave messes on your kitchen floor for days at a time? And then talk about it 5-6 times? Publicly? Which actually takes longer than cleaning it up.

That's like announcing to a roomful of people, "I went to the bathroom, but... I can't bring myself to flush the toilet. I guess I won't use that bathroom anymore." I'm getting to the point where I'm ruling Eva out as puppet and master because of her annoyingly consistent and dull writing style. She's too random to be the puppet, and if she was writing the puppet, I'd want to kill it too. I have, however, come to a conclusion. Eva is on drugs whenever she writes posts for PuppetMaster. Which is why she is annoying, incoherant, and doesn't clean up messes on her kitchen floor.

Feel free to call me a bitch. I just had to get that off my chest.

Posted by Ashley @ 05:30 PM PST [Link]

"Bel: peppermint candy, banana, 10 ½, April 8, and no ramen or boba please..."
--Philo

this game needs more drama, time to start some flame wars

i laughed when bertie calle me a liar.
i can chuckle when david insinuates my mom is a bad driver.
but philo, when you mess with boba, you crossed a line you'll wish you hadn't. you've cast the first stone. prepare yourself.

you are a lazy-ass incompetent insomniac lecherous exaggerating bastard. i didn't want to hear about your stupid bullshit loss of trust story anyways. in fact, i dread having to peruse the mindless drivel that you pass off as your puppetmaster entries. ohhh poor philo has "issues" with how seriously he is being taken. awwwwww--suck it up. which you should be good at cause, you suck. and not in a good way, but in the suckiest sucking way there is. i'd put it more eloquently but i don't think you'd get it.

a pox on you

Posted by Ted @ 04:24 PM PST [Link]

And Ted supplies us with a new and gruesome twist on the old "chicken crossing the road" joke. I hope it doesn't come down to a showdown between the two straight guys, Ted. I'm no match for your decapitating shadowless kick.

GOOD LORD I HATE CLUELESS DRIVERS!!! I think there are maybe a dozen people in the county who know what that lever on the left side of the steering column is for. I've been around, and nowhere have I seen so many people making unsignaled turns, or so many tootling merrily along with their turn-signal on. I think it may have been on when they bought the car. Then just now, on the highway, this car came right up on my tail, hovered for a bit, then pulled around to pass me and immediately took an exit. It was so all-fired important to get in front of me?!?

Posted by David @ 03:14 PM PST [Link]

I'm running late for work as it is, but I just thought I'd make myself later. I could NOT sleep last night for the life of me, so my grand total for the last week and a half sits somewhere around 20 hours. I bet you can imagine how much I want to go to work right now.

Lack of trust - I just thought of a good one. Ex of mine who became slightly obsessive over me decided to give my URL to his new girlfriend. She became VERY obsessive with me. Like, we're talking beginners' stalker material. He told her EVERYTHING about me, and he spared no detail. She knew that I liked cinnamon, that I had problems when I was younger (and was kind enough to point them out) and, the worst part, where I lived. Jesus. This girl was CRAZY. I do believe I still have excerpts from some of the e-mail she sent me... (this was actually really recently.) He and I broke up in August of last year, after a year and a half of hell, so he's obviously hanging onto something. Ah, here we go...

"I don't want to reopen any old wounds of his. Your like a living part of his history whether he likes it or not. I suppose that's why I kept lurking."

"My emotions are all over the place. nevermind. just nevermind. pretend I never exist and go along living in your happy little world."

"Maybe I shouldn't have even mentioned him. I just know he would protest. But then again... why the fuck not? I'm friends with *insert another of his exes who was a bitch here* (I'm sure you've heard about her). Good lord. You even like cinnamon flavored things"

So YEAH, she was REAL NORMAL and REAL NICE TO HEAR FROM...and oh yeah, she REALLY HAD MY ADDRESS. Thank you to my ex who told her EVERYTHING ABOUT ME! He just had the right to, you know. Because he's an obsessive freak.

Posted by Ashley @ 12:31 PM PST [Link]

My shoe size is 8. My birthday is March first. My state is totally cracked out.

Hope I didn't do anything last night that I'll regret later, cause hell, I can only remember glimpses of it. I totally know what the guys in Dude Where's My Car must feel like.

Lack of trust story (short and sweet):
Mom, where's our pet turlte?
Shut up son, eat your soup.

I've learned not to get too attached to pets in my house. When I was 8 years old, my uncle gave us a chicken. A real live chicken... as a pet. Like first of all, what the fuck are you supposed to do with a pet chicken? You can't pet it. You can't really play with it. All it did was eat, poop, and wake us (and the whole neighborhood) up in the morning. I was given the task of coming up with a name for it, but before I could it ran away. We looked all night for it, but to no avail. Why couldn't we have a normal pet... sigh.

So the next morning my mom is driving me to school and i see this white fluffy thing (couldn't really tell what it was) cross the road right in front of us... then I hear this *THUNK* and the car felt like it went over a speed bump... I looked to the rear window and there were all these white feathers flying out from the back of the car. *POOF*

But the worst part was no one cleaned up the mess. So I had to pass by it for the rest of the week on my way to school.

Posted by Ted @ 11:42 AM PST [Link]

My birthday was last week and I wear a 12 shoe size. I have big clown feet. I amd 6'1, ya know. I'd be horribly off balance if I wore a 9.

Gah, work in 3 hours. *whines*

Posted by James @ 10:51 AM PST [Link]

Sorry about the lack of posting on my part yesterday, my sitemeter was hacked by the chinese (yeah thats what it said) then my IP went to hell on me. I still can't load anything up on my laptop so I'm on the PC right now. Things are strange right now with me and Jeremy, well in my head atleast. We talked about our mutual attraction the other night and that was pretty nerve recking but last night was even wierder. I don't regret what happened but now I don't know. I don't really want to be in a relationship since I'm going to college in a little over a month but I think that after our actions last night he thinks thats where things are going next. I can't turn away now, the shit it up to my knees now, and I don't want to seem like an asshole because I want to still be friends. Maybe I should have practiced self control, right?

Anyways, Some people who had lost my trust. Well I'll start off with internet. There was this bitch who totally bit me on the net. We had been talking for like a month and she was nice and a novice htmler (not like I claim to be a god) but I helped her on and off and stuff like that. Come to find out that I get an email from another online friend saying that a certain site with my layout on it showed up in her reffers. True enough the site I was helping the girl with was like a decoy site because all a long she was whoring around my previous layout with the same links and alt tags and cgi code and everything. She didn't bother to change a thing. I could have put one of those "Here is the bitch's email and AIM and bash the hell out of her." But I didn't. I just got told her to take it down, blocked her, and was done with it. I have no time for stuff like that.

Now in real life. What else with teens break trust amongst each other? Drama is what. Mouthy, nosey, talkative idiots to me more descriptive. Just the usual he said she said bull (ohh did James quote a song?). I can't pick out a specific instance since I was fairly "popular" during school. Shit like that follows me around like a swarm of flies on a dirty diaper.

Posted by James @ 10:48 AM PST [Link]

Guess what? I overslept, but I've been puttin in so many extra hours lately I phoned in and said I'd be even later. It's one of those bummed out mornings where even the fact that it's Friday isn't gonna make all that much of a difference. Yeah. sure. Work. Uh huh. whatever. Pop tart? i don't care. And of course there are no Pop tarts or eggs or anything except cereal cause I haven't had time to shop. Sitting here listening to Plastikman: Consumed is a good idea, right? Cheery. Today's topic post will be to "tell a story where someone has lost your trust. real life, internet, whatever". Ernie - without immunity or some sort of prize on this one do you think I'm gonna tell ya the big fuck ups? the major lies? That could potentially make me less trustworthy and I wouldn't want anyone not believing in me. And what does "real life, internet, whatever" mean. Real life is pretty clear, I got that, but is trust different on the internet? Does whatever mean you can just serve up a hot fresh heaping shovel of bull? I need to finish my cereal and motor. I'll ponder all of this today and come up with a little something something on the topic to post tonight.

Posted by Philo @ 10:37 AM PST [Link]

Loss of trust story: In grad school, I had made arrangements with three close friends to go to our first professional conference, to hit the placement center and try to land some jobs. I had made reservations for two hotel rooms, charged to my credit card... Well, the trip got way out of hand: my companions invited friends, swelling our numbers from four to nine, including two boyfriends who were just along for the ride and had no business at the conference. The year's worst snowstorm, the hotel losing our reservation, a midnight fender-bender, and other atrocities also intervened--all of which is irrelevant to this story except that it set everyone on edge...

When we got back home, Jenna (one of the original four) and Ivy wouldn't pay their share of the hotel rooms. Coincidentally, they were the two whose boyfriends had come along for the ride--they didn't think the bf's should have counted when dividing up the bill. What should have been a minor argument (we're talking something like $20 here) exploded into a huge fight. Jenna and Ivy started character-assassinating me and any of the others who sided with me: one was a slut, another was a bitch, I was an arrogant prick, and so forth. I eventually got most of the money--some of it in one-dollar bills wadded up and thrown at me with insults. But Jenna and Ivy had been my friends; I never wanted to talk to either of them again after that.

Yeah, so okay, it's a stupid story. Um, my birthday is May 11, and my shoe size is 9½ or 10, depending on the shoes.

I've got this urge to do a Google search for "eva porn scotland" but I'm scared of what I'd find.

Posted by David @ 08:12 AM PST [Link]

Yo! The homies are outside doin donuts and peelin out again in the intersection. It's almost 2 in the mornin too. Welcome to Oaktown. Ya gotta love it or leave it. Another long day at work, but what else is new - besides the fact that Bob got the axe. Bob, with your secret agent capacities I figured you'd be able to snoop out anything. I had you pegged for a contender, that is after I found your url and realized all that wasn't bullshit. Sorry you have to go, but was I ever relieved. I'd like to know please am I in the lead, as it were, or did I inch my way past the Puppetslayer in the hall. It's the not knowing that could drive a man over the edge. And Bertie, you think I'm the puppet? Well, that's just ludicrous lady! That's the most outrageous thing I've ever heard! Me? HAHAHA. Just cause I'm sitting here listening to Sandie Shaw doesn't mean anything. Just cause James thinks I sound "fabricated"? Just cause few if any of you have probably found my url? None of that means I don't exist. And when all is said and done I have to agree with Rachael. I'm still here, so my theory is right on target. Good point. I like that. Thank you.

I'm not really listening to the imcomparable Sandie, whom I do love by the way. I'm listening to Sisters of Mercy. Why? Cause I need all the love I can get. Cause I need all the love that I can't get too! Cause I'm exhausted and now I have to sign on and say something brilliant before I crash. Now that I'm writing though I am realizing today rocked. I made the Puppetmaster cut again. 21 guys are now on their way to becoming better masturbators thanks to me. I'm proud of em and hope they are home doin well with their, uhm, homework. And Eva, you are correct, I AM Betty Dodson. Bonus points for you. But I'm not really Betty. I might not even be real at all.

What is real is that when I got home I noticed the fence on the side of the house had been knocked down. I almost cried I was so happy. That means the hot tub delivery gods will be here tomorrow!!! (We had to take the fence down to get it into the backyard). Maybe tomorrow night The House Mate and I will be sitting out back soakin it up and livin the good life baby. I can't wait!

Dang... even I'm getting the urge to ride her. Ashley, I'm 13.0% sexually pure (87.0% sexually corrupt). I see that as a good thing, don't you? Of course I had to change all the genders. Bel: peppermint candy, banana, 10 1/2, April 8, and no ramen or boba please. I can't believe I'm up this late again.

Posted by Philo @ 03:35 AM PST [Link]

What timing for that question Ernine. I was listening to Play and was reminded of when I was in San Fran a little more than a year ago. I was with "Leigh" (girl from a post some days ago) visiting some mutual friends. Insted of going back to her squirrly bf's house, I spent the night with the friends. We talked of silly things and for the first time during that trip I felt like I belonged. We gossiped about Leigh and Squirrel Boy and how he wasn't who he portrayed himself to be online. We hoped she would see this, but a year later, I am told she is still with him.

My last night in the bay, the decision was made that Leigh would not be retuning to Portland with me. She would be throwing away college, family, absolutly everything for a boy. I was left to pick up the peices, to mend the loose ends back in Portland. I came home and for the first time I saw the truth to the lies she spun. I saw how much her mother truly did care for her and how incredibly hurt she was by Leigh. Leigh's mother had moved up from L.A., leaving her life behind to support Leigh's future and Leigh had abandoned her. I saw that the adult I had looked up to, so many people looked up to, was nothing more than a child a pedophile if you will, trying to surround himself with youth and beauty for whatever reasons. He couldn't even take care of his own home life, shipping his sone cross country for psych help while in the mean time giving advice and supporting many many depressed and angsty teens. Leigh hurt me. I wonder about her often, if she is happy with the choices she made. I wonder if she misss me as much as I miss her.

C'est la vie, n'est pas?

My shoe size is 8 and my birthday is in February

Posted by Meghan @ 02:51 AM PST [Link]

Bel, chocolate chip peanut butter, 8½, and September 13th.

Posted by Ashley @ 02:37 AM PST [Link]

Argh.

I should hurry, I'm supposed to be at Nik's soon so that I can go with her to see what her job's like so that I can successfully do it for two weeks. I fell asleep again.

I just got an e-mail from my editor (my editor! what an exciting thing to say!). They want a different title for my porn. Argh. I don't know, I'm in a hurry.

Today after shadowing Nik I'm going to meet up with some dotcommers I used to work with, then collect outside the Tom Jones concert for a local HIV charity, then meet up with New Flatmate and maybe go to a party, or maybe not, as I have to get up and work 9-1 tomorrow thus conveniently missing the Gender Workshop at the Foot & Mouth Festival, grrr. Anyway, I am going to crash at my new place this weekend and check out the peace and quiet. I have now packed pretty much all my books and videos (that's, um, seven boxes) and have started on magazines and things.

Dammit, Ernie's questions are getting so difficult to answer. No trust stories spring to mind. Honestly. I think I've got rather good character judgement and I don't think anyone has particularly let me down, unless you count break-ups, but even those never had any trust issues. (Um, unless it was me who was cheating, but I digress.) Even my current living situation has nothing to do with trust. I mean, sure I was assured a million times "we'll be quiet, really", but I never believed it, so it's not like I was surprised, you know? I'll have to think about this while I'm dashing around the city today. Meanwhile, Ashley again gives us a good story - fit for Jerry Springer perhaps?

However, I did - a day or two late, but never mind - finally come up with a traumatic sex story. This one isn't mine, but you didn't exactly specify, right? It happened to a boy called Angus who was a close friend of mine when I was still living in Northern Ireland and we were juvenile drinkers together. There was this kid in his class at school called Neil who was somewhat irritating (Angus had already set me up with him when I was drunk. Thanks, Angus) but had started going on about how he was bisexual and how he would do Angus. Keen to have a sexual experience with someone who wasn't his cousin another boy, Angus arranged to meet up with him on a Sunday evening.

They met up, dithered about where to go, and settled on the roof of their school (I always loved this part; I wish I could work some low-flying aircraft into the story). They talked nervously for a while and then did their thang. Afterwards, climbing down from the roof, Neil said, "Thanks."

"What for?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm straight now."

Damn! Angus was on the phone to me right away complaining that Neil had come all over his shirt and still never managed to reciprocate. I think that counts as traumatic.

Anyway, thank you Belinda for giving me some questions I can deal with. My birthday is 12 December and I was conveniently born at 12:12, which sounds symbolic but isn't. I also discovered a few years ago that they found there should be a thirteenth star sign, which means that all of them get shifted along a bit, and I happen to fall under it (Ophiuchus, it's called). This makes me happy because I'm a big cynic and don't believe in astrology. And my shoesize is 6. Although my silver hologram DM boots are a 7 and I got them anyway because I wanted them so badly. You can't really find them anywhere these days and I got them for £20 in Copenhagen.

Argh. I really have to get going ...

Posted by Eva @ 02:30 AM PST [Link]

Bertie, babe, ever heard of satellite TV? (Queue scene of Ernie and a faceless individual conversing, with swearing in the backgound, with shouts of 'GOD, I JUST FUCKED UP' and 'calm down, you're doing fine')

Perhaps I am the PuppetMaster, though, and was just doing that to throw you all off track. Or perhaps I'm the Puppet, and I don't exist. Or perhaps I just got picked like most of you. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps... I love Cake.

I will now regale you of the time someone *drumroll* lost my trust. Only I can't think of anything good right now. There was a time when I dated a boy that had an identical twin. His brother was a real asshole that I made out with once by mistake. When I found out I was letting some random guy put his hands all over me (said boy had just walked in the door) and he flipped. Once he understood the misunderstanding (isn't my grammar great?) he yelled at the twin. It was really weird, because it looked like he was yelling at himself. But that's not a good example. Let me think on this one.

Posted by Ashley @ 01:05 AM PST [Link]

Thursday, July 19, 2001

Bob is real? If I am still in this game then that must mean my Puppet at least is correct. That is unless we all did poorly. At this stage it would seem I must be somewhat close to the correct path. If I wasn't I would not be here. I will miss you Bob. Your stories did not often seem believable to me. Now that I know you are real they will be even more interesting.

We never made it to see the Indigo Girls. My car would not start and we tried for some time. As a rule I don't drive very often. I enjoy walking to work in the morning as the city is waking up. Everything I need is convenient to me on Capitol Hill. Tony looked at it tonight and he says it isn't the battery. I could have told him that much. (laughing). Anyways. The concert was all the way down at the pier.

We decided to take the bus, but by the time we made it downtown we knew it would be over before we arrived. The concerts at the pier start very early. I suppose this is so professionals have entertainment at a reasonable hour. Whatever. We decided to skip it. It wasn't any loss. We had planned to watch from the street for free anyway. Jessica decided she had a craving for french fries and we went to the Hurricane. They have the best milkshakes.

It was great seeing her. We had not spent time together for more than a month. Jessie has been having difficulties with her boyfriend I found myself relating to. The difference is her perspective is more like Tony and I identified with what she said about Shane. It was very interesting. She gave me a very different perspective on how my insecurities could effect someone I love, only in reverse. Does that make sense?

Tony and I have had a very nice evening. He is busy watching a rerun of ER. I made a conscious effort to be more open tonight and I feel even closer to him as a result. I find that very strange. It has been interesting noticing how fear can leave me feeling separate, and seeing last night how I often end up resenting him for that. Is that fucked up?

Bertie, as a rule I do not spell yogurt with a letter "H". Eva does. I was commenting on Eva at the time. I would not call whatever place Philo had his supposed three way in a "den". He, however, said he went to a "den of iniquity". Do you see Bertie? While you may be watching us like a hawk, it would seem at times you fail to pay attention. We're going to bed now that the show is over. Sleep well Bob.

Posted by Rachael @ 11:04 PM PST [Link]

I took a purity test today. I made Mark do the same. Sad, because while he's 20, I have a lower purity level than him. 49% pure (me) and 53% pure (him). I attribute it to the fact that I'm bi.

I watched MTV for the first time in a long time today. I never do that, but I was bored and half asleep. Is it just me, or has it gotten totally and completely boring? They play the same crap over and over. Bah. There's nothing good on TV anyway.

My boyfriend has a music server at his work that broadcasts... one of the perks about where he works. It has at least 1000 cds in it, probably more. Anyway, last night, when he wasn't using it, I used it. I have his logins and stuff, he gave em to me. Apparently today, his boss was mocking him, "You fag, listening to Tori Amos". Oops.

I have nothing more to say today except that I'm going to miss Bob. I knew his life was too extreme to be real fake. On the other hand, I'm happy he's gone because I'm still here. Heh.

Okay, I'm done now. I can't think of anything more to ramble and waste your time reading.

Posted by Ashley @ 08:16 PM PST [Link]

I just installed trillian and it is very cool. I like the idea of having all my buddy lists in one window; very convinent.

Lordy, I am trying to set up somthing with a friend for my site and it looks like we aren't on the same page. I hate it when things are perfectly clear in your head but when the idea gets out in the open it's all jumbled. Blah I need to fix this.

Posted by Meghan @ 08:06 PM PST [Link]

Right now there are soooo many beautiful women around me--or it could be the drugs. Maybe it's best if I don't think about it. Did I ever tell you I love you guys.

Bob, please tell Mr. Powell I love him too. Sorry to see you go buddy. I thought for sure you were the one pulling my strings, but I guess it must be someone else. Who's up there?

Oh well, one more straight guy down. It's just you and me David *dirty look...tumbleweed...showdown at the okc whistl*

I'm sitting at a cyber cafe where the rate is (well let's just say I really need that contest money).

Bertie, I'm not burnt out... I just saving the strength in my fingers for more important things. Just have a seat and take your shoes off while I warm up some peach durian scented lotion. Close your eyes and relax and let these hands work their magic! <3<3<3

Eve, Rabi, Belinda, Ernie, Peter, have a seat on the waterbed and take a number. There's plenty of Ted for everybody. *cues 70's porn soundtrack*

P.S. Looking forward to eating ramen with you at the post-PM party Wockerjabby! (No, not a inuendo... unless you want it to be)

Posted by Ted @ 03:50 PM PST [Link]

I knew Bob was real. Nobody would make that stuff up. Sorry to see you go, Bob. Interesting "takes" on your site, by the way. First time I've seen a reasonable argument that was both anti-abortion and pro-choice. Good for you.

Grrgh. Our web server is fried. Tech Support says there's been a virus on the machine since June 15. Okay, and all that virus-protection software of ours is supposed to do what exactly? Grrgh.

Ashley, that's a wonderful picture. Hope work was better today.

Posted by David @ 02:22 PM PST [Link]

Bye Bob.

I think I jinxed myself by talking about the ex. He msged me late last night and was the jerk I knew he could be. Apperantly he is talking to my father. Which means that all the info Payam is getting from the father is something along the lines of, "Meghan is a cold hearted bitch and a liar." Then this morning the phone was ringing for close to 30mins, I thought it could be an emergency becase there was no reason anyone else would stay on the phone for 30 f*cking minutes. So I pick up and hear "Is your brother there?" "He's asleep," I respond "Asleep?! At 9:30... I doubt it" *click* WTF is that?

I'm going back to bed...

Posted by Meghan @ 01:20 PM PST [Link]

Philo is 221, and I'm 222? Does that mean he is on top? Wooo! *winks at Philo*

Ughm Ashley I pray to every deity that I've heard of that you get that job at the coffee shop. When a woman throws up on your counter its time to call it a day. The natiest thing I've had happen at work was some asshole stick gum between some anime. So when I pulled one out to give it to a customer a whole long row cam with me. That was a lot of gum the shithead wasted too. I swear he made a chain of like 7 or 8 tapes.

Work was cool for me. Nobody threw up, one guy returned a opened DVD but I didn't care sinced it was the Jungle Book, and I let him exchange it for the new Pooh movie that came out. Say, is anybody here into Anime? I need some recomedations. I know Blood comes out soon, and Akira is going to be rereleased next week.. I think.

Did I mention that I love me some Philo? Can I say it again? I love me some Philo. His stories are so well "fabricated".

*Puts on camo bandana* Look Bertie I'm a survivor!!. And hello Rabi. *waves*

I'm really nervous about those quiz results.

Posted by James @ 10:46 AM PST [Link]

Oh, nasty. I was doing a search for puppetmaster + eva just to see if I would stumble across anything interesting (rather than do anything constructive, you know) and instead I found this on a neo-nazi site.

With regard to those "still missing" in Argentina, the Jews obscenely whine how "funerals are the one sacred rite common to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and the one observance that binds atheists, agnostics, and believers". So, where, I ask, is the final resting place of Adolf and Eva Hitler, if I may be so bold? Or that of the Goebbels? Goering? Himmler? Heydrich? Streicher? THESE are our "missing in action"!!!

... and so on and so forth. Eugh. I think it's time to shutdown my computer.

Posted by Eva @ 08:08 AM PST [Link]

Hurry up and eliminate somebody goddammit!! So we can all get on with our lives. Thank you.

David, I liked your moth poem. Ashley, I hope you get that coffee shop job for your own sake. Philo, you are Betty Dodson. Well done.

I've packed nearly all my books and videos now. Dear god but I have a hell of a lot of books. I have given lots of nice postcards and stuff to the French girl. I hoard so much junk it's ridiculous. The only time I ever clear out is when I'm moving. And this time, I'm going to become a minimalist. Yeah, right.

Another good thing has happened. I already arranged to cover for a friend of mine for two weeks while she's in Spain: she works four hours a day in the office of an Indian food company. Well, she called me last night to ask if I could maybe feed her cats while she's gone. So I asked if I could maybe actually crash there, which she's totally cool with. PEACE AND QUIET! Also, it means one less bus to catch to get to her job, and it's just down the road from the computer lab where I'm going to be working 5-11 every night next week. Yay.

(Hi Rabi.)

Posted by Eva @ 07:47 AM PST [Link]

I haven't slept yet. I can't sleep. I'm going to be voted off the island. My tiki torch will be exterminated. I have had nine hours of sleep in four nights.

Ahhh, pretty picture to take my mind off everything. I took that while in Europe over Spring Break. I showed Mark a bunch of pictures I'd taken tonight from over there and he was REALLY impressed. Of course, he's always REALLY IMPRESSED with me, whether it be learning linux commands or being able to cook. I'm REALLY IMPRESSED I'm still here.

And also REALLY IMPRESSED that I'm still awake. G'nite. That's all, folks.

Posted by Ashley @ 06:31 AM PST [Link]

Just wanted to get this in while I can. I've got this irrational fear that Ernie is going to wake up while I'm writing this, and eliminate me before I get the chance to hit the "add entry" button. I'll miss you...

But Rabi, it's not nearly as good on cottage cheese. And there's been plenty of good poetry written about insects.

Ashley: Ew. That is all.

Bob, here's my theory about cookie dough ice cream: Cookies, as we all know, have a lot of calories. But a calorie is a unit of heat, right? So obviously, if you don't bake the cookies, and indeed freeze them in ice cream, they'll have fewer calories. So cookie dough ice cream is the ideal lo-cal alternative to eating regular cookies.

So, if I were an evil Puppetmaster, would I stoop to having myself or my puppet "go away" for a few days? I would if I were burning out, that's for sure. I wonder if my er, Bob's anyone's post frequency is going to hit a spike while "Ted" is away?

Posted by David @ 05:54 AM PST [Link]

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. The sound of waiting for an impending lynching based on someone making poor choices. On the web no one can hear you scream. But I think I'll scream anyway. Excuse me! 221 here! 221 reporting in! Boy, am I glad I got out of retail. Thank you ladies for the reminders. And how was my day? It was long. It was all about work. There were meetings, phone calls, conversations, lunch... Lunch was good. Hunan chicken satay, a salad, Vitamin Water. I'm a sucka for easy nutrition. There were more phone calls, strategic planning sessions, advertising to design... I ended up staying late too to tighten up tomorrow's "Maximizing Masturbation" workshop. I got lots of calls about it today so it's lookin like I'll be having myself a little crowd of students. I guess my (mostly stolen) verbage paid off:

What part of the male anatomy gets the most touch with the least creativity? Prepare your body for one of the most powerful and pleasurable experiences available to men. This video and discussion workshop will teach you twenty astonishing masturbation strokes that awaken self-love, creativity and boundless pleasure. We'll also explore cock reflexology, self-massage, ritual masturbation, erotic breathing rhythms and how to prolong orgasm. If you masturbation the same way you did 10 years ago, with diminishing results, this workshop is for you.

Makes me kinda hard. It's almost as hot as being Number 221! It's almost as sexy as women in military uniforms carrying assault rifles, right Bob! Since when are you a Texan? It's almost as sexy as The Webbys! Almost as sexy as the art of the web itself! Almost as sexy as Ernie's Angels, as running naked in a rainstorm! It's even almost as sexy as Ev in spandex pants!!! I think I need a cigarette.

The big warm soft mushy place in my heart today goes out to Rabi. Thanks for the good word. In closing this one I do wanna say I miss Nancy, Shea and Pete. Seriously. But please God, let me miss em awhile longer. As it is it ain't lookin like Ernie and Belinda are going to slay anyone tonite. I'm getting sleepy. I gotta teach people how to masturbate tomorrow. I need my rest. It's time for bed, but not before I set one small thing straight. David: You're right. You're not a dating expert and it wasn't any of your business.

Everyone, it's been a pleasure.

Posted by Philo @ 02:03 AM PST [Link]

Wednesday, July 18, 2001

Oh lord was it a long day. The sadistic cousin called again and tried the same prank which obviously didn't work. I had him transfer me to my boss though and it looks like for the next few weeks I wil be working 40+hours. Awwe yeah in three short weeks I can buy a cheepy little car to replace my pos car. Freshman laughed at my car. I can't seel it because it is so awful, I have to donate it to the magnet schools and get a tax write off.

This woman came into our store trying to return a VCR she had "bought" at another Freddy's but was two years old. Then five minutes later a man comes in trying to return batteries he bought in 1994. Then just before we closed a woman tried to return her two year old ink cartridges. Just because I am not a manager doesn't mean I am lying to you about our return policies.

I am gogin to bed, hopefully I still be here whem I wak up, though I doubt it after taking that horrid quiz earlier.

Posted by Meghan @ 11:15 PM PST [Link]

Work was stressful. I feel rather odd after it. I have come to believe almost all customers are evil.

  • I had one lady get completely irate at me because I wouldn't let her cut into the line after she decided she wanted to browse while she waited and wasn't there when it came her turn, and five minutes later returned.
  • Another lady, about 80... had a shopping cart with a big box in it. After she bought what was in it (something like a punch bowl and glasses set) I saw her walking out of the store muttering, "Now you just stay in there and be quiet. Understand me? Good. Quiet."
  • And, by far the worst... was this lady who was yelling at me to hurry up and check her out because she felt sick. As I was bagging her stuff, she threw up ALL over the counter. God. I wanted to die. I didn't have to clean it up, but I almost got sick myself. And...the smell lingers... I swear I just about fainted. I hadn't eaten when I got to work... and now I haven't eaten all day. Every time I start to even think about it, I get nausea. Picturing that lady throwing up. UGH.

    God kill me. I hope I get this job at this coffee place I applied to. They said they'd call in the next couple days if I did, but with my luck.... hey, Rachael, we can have coffeeshopwars!

    Posted by Ashley @ 09:39 PM PST [Link]

    There is nothing like a cold can of Mountain Dew at 6:30 AM to really lighten up your life. (Mental note: Next time, make Her bring a change of clothes so I don't have to drive Her ass home at 6:00 AM)

    Rachael, are you joking about Fremont, California? Everyone who has ever lived in CA and taken CA history knows of John Fremont the famous explorer and erstwhile Presidential candidate. Of course, since CA has such a suckass history, that's pretty much all you learn when you learn about California history. Oh yeah, they go on about how California was independent for a while (right) but California has never been and will never be as cool as the greatest State in the U.S., Texas. I'll finish by saying one thing, "No matter what state you live in, My State can kick your state's ass and then secede and kick your Nation's ass."

    I'm glad other people like chocolate chip cookie dough too. It's good but honestly I don't miss it too much because like I said, I don't eat ice cream that often. What I really miss is Taco Bell (and for you Texans, Taco Cabana even more). There ain't a lick of good Tex-Mex in this neck of the woods. Not that Taco Bell is "good Tex-Mex", but it is good fast food Tex-Mex.

    Welp, now it's time to take a shower. Pray for me.

    Posted by Bob @ 08:50 PM PST [Link]

    This will be brief. I have been working to finish my quiz since returning home from work. This test is rather daunting you two. Rachael, may I ask you what your favorite coffee shop is? (laughing). Unless I am mistaken, which could be, I believe I am doing pretty well this time. I hope I'm right.

    My friend Jessica and I are going to the pier to see the Indigo Girls. It is a beautiful night for it. The sky is clear with little bands of high streaking clouds. The best part is not having to pay either. I will provide details later. I would not want to create more confusion as I did mentioning Fremont, or would I? (laughing). Who has ever heard of Fremont, California?

    Jessie is here and my test has been sent. We need to leave. Thank you Bob, Peter and Eve for your support recently. I am not always having the easiest time with this game to be honest. I appreciate it. Anyways. We are already very late. I was not about to hurry at the expense of incorrect answers though. I will write more later tonight.

    Posted by Rachael @ 07:50 PM PST [Link]

    Yay James, you eat ramen! But hopefully you eat the good stuff tho. Does your friend Christine (who I’m assuming is Chinese since her family owns a Chinese restaurant) take you to some good ramen places?

    Bertie - Love the boba pix!!! And thanks for saying it right instead of "pearls" or "bubbles". ewww…

    Rabi - Nice to meet you. I look forward to whoring myself out to you.

    Ok kids, I’m off on a little adventure and won’t be back until Friday. I’ll try and check in and write whats going on. If I’m not kicked off (god damn that quiz was hard!), I’ll talk to you guys then. Otherwise, its been fun guys.

    Posted by Ted @ 03:46 PM PST [Link]

    Here's one of my favorite poems. It's by Don Marquis, of Archy and Mehitabel fame.


    the lesson of the moth


    i was talking to a moth
    the other evening
    he was trying to break into
    an electric light bulb
    and fry himself on the wires

    why do you fellows
    pull this stunt i asked him
    because it is the conventional
    thing for moths or why
    if that had been an uncovered
    candle instead of an electric
    light bulb you would
    now be a small unsightly cinder
    have you no sense

    plenty of it he answered
    but at times we get tired
    of using it
    we get bored with the routine
    and crave beauty
    and excitement
    fire is beautiful
    and we know that if we get
    too close it will kill us
    but what does that matter
    it is better to be happy
    for a moment
    and be burned up with beauty
    than to live a long time
    and be bored all the while
    so we wad all our life up
    into one little roll
    and then we shoot the roll
    that is what life is for
    it is better to be a part of beauty
    for one instant and then cease to
    exist than to exist forever
    and never be a part of beauty
    our attitude toward life
    is come easy go easy
    we are like human beings
    used to be before they became
    too civilized to enjoy themselves

    and before i could argue him
    out of his philosophy
    he went and immolated himself
    on a patent cigar lighter
    i do not agree with him
    myself i would rather have
    half the happiness and twice
    the longevity

    but at the same time i wish
    there was something i wanted
    as badly as he wanted to fry himself

    archy

    Posted by David @ 03:26 PM PST [Link]

    Well, I wanted to post something nice and long, but I suppose I'll just bitch. Work called two hours ago, after I went to bed at *7* AM (is that a record? wait, for me, no...) and gave me two hours notice. I could have said no and slept all day, but it's only a four hour shift and I need the extra hours this week - this'll mean 12 instead 8 this week. I WILL, however, probably get my first paycheque this week. Go me! Okay, I'm really late now. I must run. Hopefully I'll sneak another post in before Ern kills me off. Bye!

    Posted by Ashley @ 01:34 PM PST [Link]

    Sitting here eating luke warm ramen because the hot ramen burned the hell out of my toungue ring. Right now its rather swollen, though this morning when I woke it was perfectly fine. Work in 2 hours, and I'm definityly looking forward to working the register < /sarcasm >. I'm going to just hover around the floor, that way I can avoid helping people if I hide in the mature section.

    I love Batman Beyond. And I'm the center of a tic tac toe! whoo... I want the first one, I want to be in between the guys.

    Posted by James @ 01:05 PM PST [Link]

    DAMN! I forgot about the Radical Football. It was at 6pm on the Meadows and I was really looking forward to seeing how it would work with three teams. Grrrr.

    David, it's clear you need to assign prefixes to people. Start simple - Ex Naomi and Friend Naomi, for example - and work your way up. My best-loved prefixes for people include Cockroach, Dropkick and Magic. See what you can do - I have faith in you.

    I have now packed two boxes. My ex Someone or other is starving to death this week. OK, I know you're reading this, wanna come round and I'll cook something for you tomorrow night?

    Posted by Eva @ 12:26 PM PST [Link]

    Eve--Nicole ≠ Naomi. Nicole came first by several years, and the Naomi drama was confined to just a few principal players. It gets more confusing, in that I also have a good friend Naomi. People who know her, but not my erstwhile fiancée, have been known to get really confused expressions on their faces when I say "after Naomi and I broke up..."

    Philo--Wow, that's got to be about the worst date I've ever heard of. Not that I'm the dating expert, and not that it's any of my business--but didn't the words "I'm exhausted, can you come over here" ring any warning bells? Especially followed by "you're staying the night!" If I'd've been in your shoes, I'd've taken that conversation as a hint to go pick out a movie, take it back home and leave Mr. Romeo stewing.

    James, don't write yourself out yet. You can be pretty darned wrong without being the wrongest of us all. I think at this point in the game it's actually better to be unsure than to have a solid theory. (We'll see in a few hours, won't we?)

    I dunno what those codes are for either. Plot 'em on a 3-dimensional grid, and you get two tic-tac-toes: Ted-James-David and Bob-James-Rachael. James, you're the center of the universe, buddy. I notice Ernie says the codes are "going to be used for the quiz" without saying who's going to use them. I think he and Belinda just got sick of grading the quizzes and all subsequent eliminations will be determined by a hastily-modified spinner from a Candyland game.

    Posted by David @ 12:07 PM PST [Link]

    *reads over quiz* I'll miss everybody *big hugs to all*

    Posted by James @ 09:50 AM PST [Link]

    A. Am I asleep or did no one explain exactly what that code number is for?

    B. I have evidently been playing this game entirely wrong. I have no ideas as to the answers to the last question other than the ones given to me by Ernie. I just haven't been looking.

    C. I don't eat ice cream much but when I do, I prefer chocolate chip cookie dough in it.

    D. Women in military uniform really turn me on, especially if they're carrying assault rifles. Yowzers.

    Posted by Bob @ 07:17 AM PST [Link]

    Belinda: Vanilla. With cayenne pepper. Yes, seriously. And as for that quiz: now you're getting nasty.

    "Life In These United States" Dept.: I got a mailing yesterday from the IRS, telling me that my Tax Rebate Special would amount to $300 and would be mailed to me the week of 8/27. Now, laying aside the question of whether the tax rebate is a good idea in the first place (I think it isn't, but never mind), what the heck is up with this letter? Does every taxpayer get one of these? If they claim it's too complicated to send out the rebate checks all at once (that's why they're being staggered over an eight-week period), how is it that they can handle sending out hundreds of millions of personalized mailings all at once, detailing everything about the rebate checks?

    Ted--nothing wrong with taking a date to a concert. Just not a FIRST date.

    Posted by David @ 06:20 AM PST [Link]

    Is it just me, or does anyone have any idea what we are supposed to do with these code numbers? I already sent mine in, and uh, it didn't have the code number attatched. 231, 231, 231...Ernie, are you getting lazy and getting someone else to grade these for you?

    You better mark them yourself, damnit. After all the stress I went through to finish the goddamn thing... it took an hour. I even made a caffeine and sugar run to wake me up enough to take the fucker. And then I read this code number nonsense. I digress. I've had three hours of sleep in two nights. So is the life of an internet addict. So what do I do with this number? Keep it safe? Tattoo it on my forehead? Put it down on paper and consume it? Spell it out with the M&M's I've been eating for the past hour? (I can just feel myself getting fat...)

    Okay Ernie, I better still be in this thing come tomorrow night. Or I'm taking said remaining M&M's and inserting them... I don't suppose I should finish that.

    I love you, Ern, PLEASE DON'T KICK ME OFF THE ISLAND! Er.. weblog...

    FYI: Mark is getting frustrated with my obsession here. He wants me voted off. If he contacts any of you, PLEASE FOR MY SAKE SMACK HIM. And don't listen to anything he has to say. He doesn't know ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY what my theories are, and how I answered that quiz, and who I thi... < /lying >

    I need to sleep so badly. Please don't hate me if I don't regain consciousness until one of you (or me) is gone. If this is my last post... so be it. I'll miss you all. And Philo, buddy, again, your story takes the cake. When I turn 19, I want to buy you a drink. Cheers.

    Posted by Ashley @ 06:15 AM PST [Link]

    Last night's meeting with Sleazy Restaurant Guy went well. I did manage to get some food, along with two glasses of wine, and he paid for it. (Actually they even forgot to charge for the food, but anyway.) The actual business of discussing webstuff took no more than ten minutes and I managed to come across as knowledgeable and competent without actually claiming to possess more skills than I do. Success!

    The rest of our meeting was mainly devoted to his personal anecdotes, which enabled me to quietly observe and only give away what I felt like giving away. He worked his hot tub into conversation several times: apparently Jack Nicholson might be moving in next door and in that case would I be interested in joining them in the tub? Um, no. Get Jenny Shimizu to be your neighbour and then we'll talk.

    We got on fine, although I had to step in when he spoke of the penthouse he's buying and how he'll be able to look down (literally and, apparently, figuratively) on all the people scurrying around having pointless miserable lives for no good reason and think "Why do they bother?" "That's great," I pointed out, "but you were born into all this money and you just told me ten minutes ago that you've never had a job in your life. So it's easy for you to say." Argh. Maybe I'll just join the Socialist Workers. No, come back, I was just joking.

    So anyway, he remarked several times that he admires my gutsiness (well, then) and said that I will "make it" ... again, isn't it a lot easier to "make it" if you've been rich all your life? But then again, nowadays my idea of what it would mean to "make it" doesn't really involve riches, nice as it would be. Pretty much everyone I admire is out there doing great work and writing great things or whatever, while still holding down ordinary jobs in shops and the like.

    Also, he invited me on an all-expenses-paid holiday to Turkey. No, really. Staying in a treehouse (an all mod cons treehouse, that is: it has Internet access). Riding horses on the beach ("I'll teach you!"). No strings. No, I'm not going.

    Philo, again you win for most impressive story. (Again, Ashley does pretty well also. What, am I a commentator now?) Oh my. I am thankful I haven't had such an odd experience. Mind you, with a kiss-list of roughly 120 (awww, bless you, Peter), surely to ungod I can come up with something. I can't even be bothered counting how many of them I've slept with ... could it be as much as a third? Whatever. Tell you what, why doesn't someone give me a random number and I'll see if it corresponds to a good story. Deal? (Don't get too excited, now.)

    Posted by Eva @ 04:53 AM PST [Link]

    He was fuckin gorgeous, that's all I can say. I was at Cafe Flore and a friend of mine was chatting with him. I joined em and luck would have it the friend needed to jet, leaving me alone with Romeo himself. Conversation was pleasant, smart, sexy. We ended up making a date for the following night. The hour arrived and I rang him up at the time agreed.
    Philo: We still on?
    Romeo: Yeah, but I'm exhausted, can ya come over here?
    Philo: Well, I could take the train, but I wasn't -
    Romeo: Would watching a video work? I'm beat.
    Philo: Of course. Ideas on what to rent?
    Romeo: Anythings fine.
    Philo: Anything you know you want to see?
    Romeo: Like I said, it's fine.
    Philo: It is late for me to come out there. How am I gonna get home when BART stops running?
    Romeo: You're stayin the night.
    Philo: I am? Well, I could but sex isn't really on my agenda for -
    Romeo: Shut up and get over here.
    Philo: On my way.
    An hour later I arrive at his door. He answers and ushers me through the hall and into his room in record time, like something was up. No tour. No beverage.
    Romeo: I hope you don't mind if I ain't too chatty. I'm beat.
    Philo: Uh, whatever. I brought a movie I've been waiting to see anyway. The Fifth Element.
    Romeo: God that movie sucks. What were you thinking renting that for?
    After some negotiation the movie is on. I'm liking it, he's telling me what's wrong with every scene. About halfway through he gets up and starts taking off his clothes. Naked, he comes over and stands between me and the tv.
    Romeo: C'mon, just suck me off now.
    Philo: Uh, maybe later? Can we watch the movie?
    Romeo: You fuckin idiot.
    That's also about the time I realize there are other people in the apartment. He turns the TV down so low I have to strain to hear it and it is obvious to me that whoever is outside the door is not someone he wants to disturb. Five minutes before the movie is about to end he gets up and turns it off.
    Romeo: I don't know why you'd fuckin rent that crap. I told you it was crap.
    Philo: You told me I could get anything I wanted.
    Romeo: Never
    Philo: Right. Well, it is getting late, I'm gonna go.
    Romeo: You ain't goin out there or nowhere. Besides, there's no transportation.
    One of those moments arose where one needs to develop a game plan very quickle. Start at the beginning. Assess the situation. BART has stopped running. Guys in other room sound worse than the one I'm with. He won't go out there. I doubt I should. Shit.
    Romeo: Get your clothes off.
    Philo: If you think we're having sex tonight it ain't happening.
    Romeo: Oh fuckin Jesus Christ. Are you a total moron?
    He ends up going to bed and is out like a light in no time. I contemplate leaving, but opt to get in bed and see if I can sleep as well. After staring at the cieling and listening to the other guys fight for an hour or two I did end up dozing off. Later on I woke up though to the sound of water running. I look over to see what is goin on and he's still laying in bed while peeing into a paper cup. He notices me noticing him.
    Romeo: The bathrooms too fuckin far.
    Philo: Uh yeah, I know how that is.
    I don't know how that is at all though. He goes back to sleep and I realize it is quiet in the other room. After half an hour of making sure the silence isn't just temporary, I slide out of bed ever so slowly, get my clothes on and escape from the worst date I've ever had. Once outside I walk for a couple miles and get to the business district. I hit the cash machine then find a taxi and gladly pay the $50 to be taken home even though I couldn't afford it.
    How does a guy go from being charming and personable in the afternoon to a complete asshole the following evening? I have no idea. My friend who was chatting with him didn't either. He didn't know the guy at all. File this one in the "people are not always what they seem be" department.

    Posted by Philo @ 02:44 AM PST [Link]

    meghan Again, if you want to have that prick hunted and beaten down, please let me know. That seriously is a fucked up thing to do to somebody and I wouldn’t mind beating the shit out of him for you (or I could have someone else do it for me, heh).

    I went to this amazing food place today called Tokyo Bowl. They have TWO dollars beef teriyaki plates!!! TWO dollars! And with a drink! *GASP*

    damn, this quiz is hella hard. And ironically enough, my favorite ice cream is rainbow sherbet.

    Posted by Ted @ 02:43 AM PST [Link]

    Tuesday, July 17, 2001

    Details detail details...

    The ex was Payam, born in Iran on a fluke. I met him my sophomore year. I was dating Pat, the boy I lost my virginity to. Payam was four years my senior, statutory rape anyone. His parents own a resort on the small Carribbean island of Grenada; he's worth millions. I cheated, as much as you can cheat during a high school relationship, on Pat with Payam. I lost many many friends just so I could be with this boy, who I would find out much much later was quite a bit like my father. He spent a lot of money on me, not his of course. Along with buying me anything and everything I wanted he would take things from me, emotionally and physically, blaming me for all the problems in our very disfunctional relastionship and never in fact taking blame for anything. There was a problem though, I saw things my family didn't. My brother looked up to him, my sister was wnderful friends with him and my mom adored him. If I broke up with him, I wouldn't hear the end of it. He would still be around everyday in the kitchen, in the bedrooms ect. He would even vacation with us. In the end I am not 15 anymore, yet he still seems to be 18. He was no longer interested in me, but my 16yo sister, I was a great deal more disgusted than jealous of this. While I was away at school, he practically lived here, and on night he forced my sister into a ver compromsing poition, luckly she got out, but I wasn't around to take care of him. Now we get to the day I spoke of previoulsy. I have had some medical problems since October 2000, and have needed to be heavily medcated since. Payam took advantage of this situation. He spent the night at my house, using my mother's hospitality and genuine heart. He got up soon after she left and snuck into my room where I obviously was sleeping. He undressed me, and I can't say exactly what he did because I don't know. All I remember was screaming, pants being zipped up as a very petrified boy ran out of the house. He hasn't been back since.

    Look at the monkey do her dance for you...

    Posted by Meghan @ 11:01 PM PST [Link]

    I have a couple more traumatic sex stories i thought of while at work. Same guy as before, a girl (Lana) and me. We were at his apartment getting stoned, eating KFC and watching various movies. So I lay down on the couch and they think I am asleep so they got o his room and start having loud and annoying sex. I broke up with him after he drove me home.

    Another one was when I came home from school January 1997 and went to my mom's room to watch TV. Upon entering I saw my parents, who had diorced two weeks prior plus my dad was living with the skank that is now his wife. My dad was holding two pillows around his mid section and my mom was cowering under the sheets. I ran away for two days.

    I went to dinner at McDonalds. The followingwas a conversation I overheard. M=male F=female

    M- Once I ate four meals in ONE day.
    F- Dude, I would get so sick if i did that.
    M- I know, but like I didn't eat for a week after that.

    Tonight, a guy aske for help. I obliged. He was wondering in which country a VHS tape was made. I told him China. He picked up another which was made in Japan. He says, "Japan's not communist like China. I know. I've been to Japan." We get the oddest people in our store.

    Posted by Meghan @ 10:36 PM PST [Link]

    James doesn't have dates, but is worst one were the two with Jarrett that didn't happen because, well, he stood me up. I don't think I need anymore detail with those.

    I've not had many sexcapades... and the adventures I have had have been with pretty tame people.

    I like Neopolitan ice cream, btw.

    Posted by James @ 07:57 PM PST [Link]

    I’m pretty sure that if the people involved in my most traumatic sex story were to ever find out that I told you all about it, I would be hunted down and have my scandalous ass beaten down. So heres my most fucked-up date story instead.

    Back in undergrad, I had this huge crash on this girl name….oh…lets just call her….JANE…(mumble mumble). She use to work at our school, and after much stupid thought and plans on how to meet her, I finally just went up and talked to her. So after many of miscommunications on both of our parts, we finally go on our first date after like 4 months of meeting each other. god damn it all. So I pick her up at her place, to the many looks and sneers of her friends (God I hated her friends), and we start driving to what ended up being an hour and a half worth of driving to the venue. (NEVER go on a long ass drive in traffic on a first date because that will only cause severe awkward moments of silence) I decided to take her to this punk/ska concert where this band that we both liked was playing. On the way there, she started to complain that she was hungry because all she had to eat that day was half a bagel. I asked her whether she wanted to get something to eat, but she said no. So we go to the concert, and the girl was like obsessed with being in the front row (no seats), to the point where she wanted to kill the person in front of her. She just had to be right in front next to the rail. So the concert starts, and I see her swaying around a bit. I asked her what was wrong, and she said that she was a bit tired. Oh, and did I mention that the girl was sick the whole week before and only had two hours of sleep??? So there I am, with the girl I’ve been chasing for like forever, on our first date ever, and she’s falling asleep on me at a concert. Just imagine, thousands of kids dancing and screaming, live punkrock band going off on stage, one sleepy and hungry girl, and one totally freaked out and depressed boy looking at the tired girl swaying around but not falling because it was too crowded for her to fall down. She looked absolutely miserable and I felt horrible about it. And this went on for 6 hours! Thoughts of killing myself via mosh pit started to become an option. Stage diving head first into the floor also seemed like a good idea. I swear, I must have asked her every 15 minutes whether she wanted to get something to eat or just leave the place. But the girl was determined to stay and not move because she wanted to get to the front. And we didn’t talk at all because 1) it was too loud and 2) she was too sleepy to talk. And during the whole 6 hours, I couldn’t enjoy the concert at all because I was too worried about Jane. When this ordeal finally ended, I of course asked her if I could buy her something to eat or drink, but she profusely declined and wanted to just go home. And btw, we never went on a second date. And now that I think about it, it was around this time that I started my emo band.

    Ok, maybe this isn’t as traumatic as it sounds, but it was for me after chasing the stupid girl for so long and then having THAT be our first date. I promised myself never to take another date to a concert, which I quickly broke two months later.

    Posted by Ted @ 06:13 PM PST [Link]

    I do not have many unusual stories in relationship to this topic. I have had weird dates and bad sex just like anyone else. I will share about our night at Copalis Beach though. Tony may not like it, but it is all I can come up with right now.

    We had been seeing each other for maybe two months. He called and asked if I wanted to go away for the weekend. I started packing an overnight bag immediately. We stayed at a small hotel right off the water called Linda's Low Tide Resort. We selected it primarily because of the name. While Tony and I had met one another previously, he first asked me out one night at Linda's Tavern. Anyways. The hotel isn't anything fancy.

    Later that night, Tony told me he had asked me to the beach with impure motives. I laughed. Later on he explained how he had always had the fantasy of making love on a beach. I grabbed a blanket, the bottle of wine we were drinking and headed out the door and towards the water. You should have seen how excited he was. It was worth it for that reason alone.

    We walked a bit down the beach to a dark, secluded spot away from any buildings. The wind from the ocean was very chilly. I had planned for us to lay on the blanket, but we wrapped ourselves up in it instead. He started to kiss me. Eventually we were naked with only a throw protecting us.

    We started making love on the beach. My back grew cold and wet as moistured soaked through the blanket. It was not enjoyable. That is when I noticed a strange light coming from somewhere. As it grew brighter Tony stood up to see what might be happening. The sound of an engine could now be heard over the wind.

    There Tony was in full frontal excited nudity. He was on display for the kids in the Jeep right as they came over the dune. Tony was a like a deer caught in the headlights. I mean that literally and they thought they were only coming to the beach to drink beer. Were we ever surprised.

    Tony hates it when I tell that story. (laughing). I need to shower and go meet him at his apartment.

    Posted by Rachael @ 06:05 PM PST [Link]

    Hah! If "John" didn't start evangelizing until after he'd gotten you home, when he'd just come from a place where everybody was getting drunk, getting into their buckskins, and smootchy-smootching any and all comers, he was worse than a Jayzisfreak--he was a cowardly, hypocritical Jayzisfreak. He'll burn in Hell along with the rest of us sinners.

    Peter--were my traumatic tales horrid and tear-jerking? I thought the virgin-hunter was kinda funny...

    Posted by David @ 04:39 PM PST [Link]

    I refuse to discuss my sex life on here in any more detail than I already have.

    My worst date was with an ex-boyfriend of mine from Seattle. He lived long distance at the time (obviously), and came up to stay here for the weekend around Christmas time. The plan was to just hang out after he had gotten here, but "Emily" called and BEGGED to meet him. So, we drove to her place, which eventually lead to all of us driving to a Starbucks nearby. (Rachael would be proud!) After all of us drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes (I've since quit), "John" looked a little bit sick.

    Turns out that cigarette smoke made him feel rather sick. I immediately felt bad, and apologized, because I remembered the story about it after he told me he didn't smoke. He'd quit about six months before due to a lung infection - and smoke made him REALLY sick. So, for some reason, we both get talked into going over to "Jocelyn"'s boyfriend's house with the rest of the group. There were eight of us. John, Jocelyn, Jocelyn's boyfriend, "Derek", Derek's best friend "Jared", a random guy from school, "Eric", Emily, me, and another one of Emily's friends, "Jessica". We ended up at the liquor store, first, and with Jocelyn's boyfriend being 'of age', we scored a bunch of beer.

    Two hours pass, and I'm sitting on John's lap after a movie has ended. "So..." says Jocelyn "...what do you guys wanna do?" At this point, we are ALL really drunk. Except John. He's decided that he no longer drinks, so he was stuck in a room with seven very inebriated people. "HEY!" says Jared. "Let's play spin the bottle!" A general consensus tells us that yes, this is okay, and so, we start. Only at THIS party, there was no boy/boy kissing. The kisses got longer and longer, until Jocelyn had to make curfew and leave. Then, her boyfriend got even MORE experimental with us. John seemed cool with this, I have pretty friends and he looked like he was enjoying himself.

    Until someone brought out the brilliant idea of strip spin the bottle. Derek, of all people. Now that his girlfriend left, he could be wild. I'll cut to the chase. EVERYONE ended up naked except John and I. We each had one piece of clothing on when, in a drunken blitz, I made up some excuse about having a curfew and we split. Thank god he was sober - he was driving.

    We got home, and it was about 2AM. My dad could tell right away that I'd been drinking. I was so drunk that I decided I could get away with lying about it. Not a smart idea. I got yelled at, IN FRONT OF this guy, and my dad demanded to check if he was sober or not. After various 'testing', my dad was satisfied, I was mortified, and John took me aside in the guest bedroom.

    J: "You think I should just go home now?"
    A: "No...it's a two hour drive and he'll get mad that you left..."
    J: "Ashley, there's something we need to talk about..."
    A: "I didn't realize that you didn't drink until we were already at Derek's, I'm sorry"
    J: "Yes, it's about that. I'm thinking... that you need to find the Lord, and accept him as your saviour, and let him into your heart. He will cure you of your vices like drinking and smoking (at the time, I was drinking about, oh, every 3-4 MONTHS.) and bring light into your life"
    A: "*laughing* no, seriously, what did you want to talk about?"
    J: "I am serious."
    A: "You are...oh..OH...!"

    At that point I sort of looked at him in my drunken haze and said, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Not smart. He was like "Look, honey, go to bed, we'll talk about this in the morning. The Lord will also remove your tendency to use such language, He is all encompaassing, and once you feel his love you'll agree with me." By that point, I was freaking out. I had a religious weirdo, that I had met ONLINE, no less, in my house. I bolted.

    The next morning, we barely made eye contact. I gave him a brief hug before he left, and, uh, I've never seen him again. Ever.

    Posted by Ashley @ 03:13 PM PST [Link]

    Morning all!

    Eva - Northern Picture Library are basically the same people that were in Field Mice and Trembling Blue Stars. And btw, I know someone who makes t-shirts that says "Cheer Up Emo Kids" on it. I was seriously laughing my ass off when I heard she makes shirts like that. When I was in an emo band, I just got tried of singing depressing songs. After awhile, I was like "guys, I’m tired of being sad, can we play something else"? But there are a lot of good emo bands out there. Like I said before, Mineral is an amazing band and I still listen to them whenever I feel like being emo-tional…

    Philo - Well, I don’t have wild orgies in bathhouses or anything, but apparently I do occasionally get shot at. Not to mention the other 3 times when I almost died, which btw all just reinforces how stupid and lame I can be. And I have other stories of insanity, but those are for later =)

    Hmmm…traumatic sex or date stories. I have so many to choose from, let me think and I’ll post back.

    Posted by Ted @ 02:14 PM PST [Link]

    "Traumatic sex story," Ernie? Traumatic for whom? Sophomore year in college, I walked in on my roommate and his girlfriend in mid-shag...it didn't faze me any but it was a while before said girlfriend spoke to me again. (Not, in this case, that that was a bad thing.) This was the same roommate who, a year later, had trouble believing that A) I was still a virgin, and B) I didn't have a problem with that.

    That reminds me--there was also this girl in college who got off on doing virgins. Geez, I'd almost forgotten about her. I remember being very surprised at one point that she and this geeky friend of mine were spending so much time together...not nearly as surprised as he was though, when she dropped him like a bad investment a month later. Then she turned her feminine wiles on me. I must have been a real puzzle for her, since I wasn't, er, rising to the bait. Eventually she gave up and turned her attention elsewhere. Not a traumatic experience, but a strange one.

    I already discussed my most traumatic sexual/dating experience last week. I won't bore those of you with good memories by reposting it in full here. Thise with bad memories will just have to hope Ernie eventually opens the archives.

    Here's my most LARGE-SCALE traumatic sex story, although I have to say up front that my role in it is pretty minor. 'Member how I said I and my then-gal had both been virgins when we lost it to each other? Well, when we broke up Nicole got a little wild. (She'd been Daddy's Little Girl her whole life, and I think I was just a stepping stone for her on the way to serious rebellion.) Within a year or so, she had graduated from plain ol' vanilla me, to exhibitionism, some BDSM experimentation, and polyamory. I'm getting ahead of myself though. Nicole and I were both part of a social circle that more or less revolved around Bruce and Fay, who had gotten married about the time Nicole and I started dating. Well, Fay got it into her head that Bruce was sleeping with Nicole. Bruce and Nicole denied it. (I don't know if it was true; in fact I've gone to some lengths never to find out if it was true.) Anyhow, people took sides all through our not-so-little clique, and the infighting and rancor that followed eventually tore the group apart, though not before everybody made everybody else miserable for months on end.

    But that's not the kind of trauma you meant either, is it?

    Posted by David @ 01:29 PM PST [Link]

    I swear to God, David, that you and I were separated at birth or something. Ah, the joy of reading about the Wild Dada Ducks and realizing that, as big of a nerd as I was in middle school, there was someone out there who would always be weirder than me.

    Sorry to dissappoint you Philo but I live in a Web-Unfriendly world where I only really get to log on once a day (on weekdays anyway) and that one time isn't always a creative one. If I had internet access at work or something I would be more PM-Productive but alas, I am unable. I'll do my best in the future.

    Anyone else a Fun Lovin' Criminals fan? I got into them with 100% Colombian and have been groovin' with them ever since but they don't get a lot of play in the States. In fact, their most recent album, Loco wasn't even released in the States. I had to smuggle a copy back to a friend so he could hear some more of their soulful sounds. Fortunately for me, the Europeans seem to dig them and I get to see their videos on MTVE. Such is my pathetic life.

    In other pathetic news, I gots me a haircut today. A short one. One in which the barber put much gel and called "acshaveet". I look very Eurotrash now but I guess I've got to blend in one way or the other...

    My most traumatic sex story involves my major college girlfriend, the one I dated for a long year during my sophomore and junior years. She and I lived in the same dorm (yeah, I lived in the dorm my junior year and I only regret it slightly) so we were pretty much together 24-7. On a side note, we thought we were fairly discreet but I just found out a month or two ago that pretty much everyone in the dorm knew all about our sex life due to the effects of my Excellent Skills and Impressive Member (or maybe just the thin walls). That was sorta embarassing, even several years later. Anyway, towards the end of it things started to fall apart but she made valiant efforts to save it. One such effort was a weekend getaway at a lake resort outside of town and a French Maid outfit. I, however, was just not into the whole thing emotionally anymore. I seem to remember fooling around in the shower and being pretty ready to go but then getting into The Act and for some reason I started thinking about how I really felt about the relationship. Soon thereafter, I was no longer At Attention and neither she nor I could do anything about it. I went into a stereotypical male "impotence rage" and got really pissed at everything, emphasizing the trauma bestowed upon me by her and my Fallen Friend. I honestly can't think of that night without wincing, it's such a painful memory. I'm embarrassed that I acted so childishly and that I treated her so badly. Maybe that's not the "traumatic" that Ernie was looking for but it takes the cake in my book. And Tania, I still apologize but hey, at least we've got Jesse "The Body" Ventura right?

    Lastly, I don't understand why Rachael is The Bitch or even A Bitch. Is it just because she's cuter than everyone else, male and female? (Sorry Ashley but you're too washed out in your picture for me to give it to you, Eva is obscured by her hair, Meghan is still the Puppet, and all the guys are,well, guys.) And that's all folks.

    Posted by Bob @ 01:28 PM PST [Link]

    ... Most traumatic sex story? Hmmm, I don't know, isn't that a rather sensitive subject? I wouldn't've picked it as a topic ... but anyway. Luckily for me I haven't had any genuinely horrible experiences in that department; more just a few stupid drunken encounters in the past which may have been a bit regrettable but nothing I couldn't handle, and probably just part of the learning experience. So I wouldn't call them traumatic.

    However, I wouldn't want to let you kids down so I will try to think of something. Meanwhile, I'm avoiding the kitchen because the boys are in there getting stoned again. Still haven't really spoken to Flatmate 1 although at least Flatmate 2 has expressed sorrow that I'm leaving. Given that F2 and I have lived together for 4 years, though, it's interesting that the French girl, bless her cotton socks, seems to be the most traumatised by my departure. Her predecessor totally blames the drugs and I'm inclined to agree. OK, so it doesn't usually go farther than hash and alcohol (although, we are talking about pints of vodka here), but even so.

    Seeing as I haven't had dinner yet and am not inspired to enter that smoky atmosphere (the negotiation of space, if I may sound academic for a second, is a key issue in the failings of this flat), I'm kinda hoping that when I meet Sleazy Restaurant Guy in an hour he'll treat me to some food. Sleazy Restaurant Guy has a "thang" for me. He is also rich and wants to get a website or two designed. Yeah, you bet I'm milking it. And no, I'm not going anywhere near that goatee thankyouverymuch.

    ... Oh, OK, there was this one time when I was at his restaurant with a friend of mine and he plied us with free drinks and every time I was away from the table he told my friend all about his fantasy of me in a jacuzzi with a bunch of Swedish girls. Um, OK. So anyway, I currently live near his restaurant (which is damn good I have to say, especially the grilled mussels) and after we'd all got quite hammered he invited himself round here. By the time he arrived I had a few friends round and, being the poor people we are, we were drinking cheap cider. He showed up with some superexpensive wine (I don't really remember this, so I imagine I had a lot of it), and stayed for about ten minutes during which time he no doubt realised that, with his four homes worldwide and all that, he didn't really have much in common with us. I walked him to the door and I suppose I only thought it would be polite to kiss him. Then we all had a good laugh afterwards. The epilogue, reported via my friend's friend who works in the restaurant, is that he went back there and told them all that he kissed me, that he could have had anything he wanted (I don't think so!), and that he then decided not to because ... I wasn't worth it. Seriously, I fucking love that. It sounds like dialogue from The Bold and the Beautiful or something. (Not that I've ever watched it, but I like to imagine.) I mean, does anyone really talk like that in real life? Luckily, everyone has already noticed that he's a little mad, so I'm confident I haven't actually lost much street cred because his staff will take it with a pinch of salt.

    James, hope the piercing doesn't hurt too much. Are you going to have to just eat mush for a few days? I met a girl recently who has a split tongue. She did it herself with a scalpel and I don't think she was on anything at the time. What is it with the kids these days? I mean not tongue piercings and stuff like that ... that's fine ... but I have to wonder at all the kids running around getting their necks and ankles pierced and that sort of thing. It's like everyone all of a sudden wants to look like they're in Return of the Living Dead. And they've all got tattoos too. I'm 23 and I've got the smallest tattoo in the world and I'm terrified that my parents will find out. But then again, I have a Northern Irish Mother, so it kind of makes sense.

    I saw my New Flatmate again today. I was passing the shop (no, it's not the one where I used to work, although he has indeed heard many horror stories about my old boss) and I had some CDs to sell. (I'm clearing out big time ... my brain is full of toasters and bath mats.) He said his boss would certainly take them, and then his boss had a look and said no, actually. New Flatmate was horrified and felt the need to phone me and apologise, which I thought was really sweet. He also said it's fine for me to crash there before I officially move in (I can't afford to pay rent before August). He is fantastic, and not a serial killer at all. Honest.

    Anyway, I took my CDs on to the place I used to work (making sure first that Shitbag wasn't in, of course) and got a new Bright Eyes single, a second-hand dEUS single, and £5. I also gave a t-shirt, a jacket, a necklace and a pair of goggles to the Shelter shop. I have now packed a grand total of one crate of books, along with two packs of playing cards and my old dictaphone which I haven't touched in years but it has my un-transcribed, unpublished Moby interview in there somewhere. (Yeah, he was my best!) And if any of you would like books on Hinduism in India or nationalism in Scotland, you'd better speak up fast before they go.

    DeathCab for Cutie? Heard of ... nice name. Perhaps you and I should do a mix tape trade once we're out of here, Peter? Except I already owe about ten ...

    Damn! There's another quiz tomorrow! I really have to get that godforsaken blog together.

    Posted by Eva @ 01:19 PM PST [Link]

    I'm back. I'm back if for just only a little while. I had to go over to my cousins last night and refill his ink cartridge, and while I was there I got smashed. Being in the state I was, I couldn't drive home, so I spent the night and told ghost stories to his kids. Fun stuff.

    It wasn't child porno, just underage (like 17yo). Why can I watch crap like that and still be offended by my sister walking around in see-through shirts? Well, she IS my sister and I am just not into that sort of thing and she's only 15 guys.

    My wierdest sex experience was waking up to my very ex bf on top of me and my sister screaming because she walked in. Why was I sleeping through all of this? I was on muscle relaxents and pain killers. Now I have to go out and work. bye all...

    Posted by Meghan @ 01:07 PM PST [Link]

    Dudes, I called in this morning and said I'd be an hour late just so I yak here. Is that dedication or what? Yesterday was the day work ate me alive! It chewed me up and spit me out 13 hours later and it was all I could do to come home, feed my face and go to bed. Stay tuned for the sequel: the work week that ate me alive. It starts, well, today actually! It's our year end/new year crunch on top of being short staffed. I interviewed a couple of guys for the job yesterday. I like em both, but they are so different with totally different strong points - kind of like Ashley and Eva.

    Peter underestimated my libido. That's ok Peter cuz remember that we men reach our sexual peak at 19 years of age. Aren't you 19 Peter? Gettin any? Ashley: I LOVE ME SOME ASHLEY! I need a new theory too. I'm still thinking Nancy is the Puppetmaster and I am her puppet. With her gone I wonder whose puppet I am now? Your bead story rules. Meghan, girl - get your stories straight. If you do, you mind end up someday on Jerry Springer. Where the fuck is she anyway? Rachael, if you don't want to be labeled as the game bitch that's cool with me. I don't always like labels myself. You do know that you ARE quite the bitch around here lately, right? And lady, I don't think you're paranoid at all. You got me thinking and I'd say even though only one of us is fictional there sure seems to be a lot of fiction in the house. You can rest assured I'm telling the truth though. I'm a compulsively honest person. Yeah. Honest. HAHAHA! Eva: You crack me up. I had a phone job once selling aluminum siding. I wasn't there ten minutes before I walked. You got the power! David: I want to help built the Nancy shrine. And you're right! VACUUMING LIKE TOTALLY ROCKS! James: Sometimes you totally remind me of what life was like when I was your age, only entirely different. Good luck with having your tongue pierced. I had my nose pierced but one day I was cleaning the ring and it fell down the drain in the bathroom sink. Oh well! Bob and Ted, zzzzzzzz. Are your lives that dull?

    I have to think about this topic post for later. With such a wild oversexed libido I have so many madcap fucked up encounters to choose from. Hmmm, which one? I'm late for work.

    Posted by Philo @ 10:48 AM PST [Link]

    Yo, isn't it a topic day? Ernie! Belinda! C'mon, the Webbys can wait. Where are you?

    Posted by David @ 10:41 AM PST [Link]

    I'm such a font whore. I've been downloading fonts all morning. But I cant' find my beloved Uptown for the mac. Oh well...

    Eva- Congrats on the apartment. Sounds like its the ish, but I don't know about you but I'd be hesitant to move in with anybody that I met through an ad. But maybe thats just me being skeptical, I'm sure those chinese tattoos stand for "peace, love, and dope" and not "hack,slash, and eat dead people". Or something...

    Sorry about the loss of the perfect chair David. I've never been one gifted with a computer chair, just always the spare one we pull out of the attic, ya know? But right now I'm sitting on the edge of my bed in my bed clothes (that would be a tank and some boxer-breifs, yo). I'm such a slob. I need to shower though I smell like smoke from when me and Christine went to IHOP after work last night. (I know I seem to eat a lot).

    Boxer-briefs are the underware of champions. The support of breifs with the comfort of boxers, plus I find them to look very sexy on guys- and on myself *winks at Ernie and the Color Commentators* Whoever came up with those things needs a gold star... or a cookie... or something.

    Posted by James @ 10:09 AM PST [Link]

    I've already bitched a little about some of the disadvantages of small-town living--parochial social mores, undercooked boba, and the like. One advantage though: this morning after breakfast, a deer wandered up behind the apartment. She was just minding her own business, walking around and checking things out. The fact that she was 50 feet and a few trees away from a 200-family residential subdivision didn't seem to bother her a bit. Neat.

    Eva, way to land an apartment! Although I have to say I was taken aback when you listed the amenities and got to "dishwasher and tumble dryer and stuff." Took me a moment to realize that you were talking about two separate housekeeping tasks there...

    Bob, you are right on at least two of three counts. Grapenuts is indeed good, and Daniel Pinkwater--well, I'm not sure you can call a 400-pound man a "minor" anything, but yeah, he's the bee's knees.

    I do not believe Rachael, who lives in Seattle and works at Starbucks, and eats lemon-pepper pasta, has any right flinging around accusations about Southern stereotypes. And for the record, I'm made in New Jersey, assembled in Wisconsin.

    *whine* I have to give my ergonomic chair to the next person on the list. I wanna keep it, Mommy!

    Posted by David @ 09:25 AM PST [Link]

    Oh my god, I found a new place already! I never thought it could happen that fast. I am giddy with excitement, I tell you.

    OK, so yesterday after work (computer lab work for those of you who are bothering to keep up) I put ads in a few shops. These conveyed my needs through a series of keywords: Female (23) with McJob; large(ish) room; queer-friendly flatmates; relative peace & quiet; and my punkrock.net e-mail address. (Nope, it's not eva@). I was walking past this record shop and stopped to see if they carried ads; there were a few for musicians, and I thought to move on, but then stopped again and went in. I guess I figured I might find people more on my wavelength through advertising somewhere like that?? Anyway, I asked to put up my ad and that was fine. Half an hour later when I was just getting home I got a call from this guy who worked in the shop. He hadn't realised at the time what my ad said and he really needed a flatmate, so I went round to see the place. It's quite near my current place and just round the corner from one of my best friends.

    And it is GORGEOUS. God, even the staircase is gorgeous. He was living there with his parents but they've moved up north now so it's just him. The room is smaller than my current one, and costs more, but then I pay less than I should for my current one, plus the new place includes council tax, which I haven't really paid before but should have (maybe if I just keep moving on they'll never find me ...). It's got a double bed and looks out over the garden, which would mean the first time in years that I wouldn't get noise from the street. The kitchen is massive and has a dishwasher and tumble dryer and stuff. It's also really really clean. I am untidy but I prefer to confine that to my own room. There's a huge living room with sofas that fold out into beds and I will be able to put my computer in there. The overall look is one of a proper home where proper people live. You know, not students, not minimum wagers, just "proper" people.

    The guy himself is called Johnny and is a year older than me. He has a lot of tattoos (remind me not to rant again about white people with Chinese character tattoos, OK?) and makes music and will be starting a film & photography course in October. He's quite soft-spoken and doesn't drink, although he smokes dope. He watches a lot of films. I think we have the same ideas about what sort of atmosphere we want to live in. I just want to live in the sort of place where it isn't perpetually crazy and I can get a good night's sleep - although it's still fine to have friends round and stumble about drunk should the mood take me. Oh my god, does this move mean I'm growing up?

    Of course, now I need some real work so I can afford it. Hire me, please. I can type 60wpm and bluff my way in HTML and speak backwards.

    Ted, I've never heard of Northern Picture Library! So I imagine they're not from Scotland ... but, what are they like? I'd be interested if you find a site for them. Right now I'm listening to Jimmy Eat World for the first time in a while. I am a big emo kid.

    Ashley, that is a fabulous story and Ernie was quite right to make you a contestant. For my part, my application story was about the time I bluffed my way onto a flight from Dublin to Glasgow with my friend John's ticket, except actually I didn't even have the ticket. I suppose once I get kicked out of this game it might get excerpted here. Or it's on my old site anyway.

    I believe Rachael has gone off on a bit of a tangent.

    I love that now every time someone gets a call from a telemarketer or whatnot, they will think of me. Um, yay.

    Posted by Eva @ 02:39 AM PST [Link]

    Monday, July 16, 2001

    Yeah Rachael, maybe you are the most paranoid out of all of us. Too much coffee from Starbucks? And I wouldn’t believe that the police fired shots at a rave either, because they didn’t. It was the people who were robbing the place that fired the shots.

    Wow, its been hella quiet here today. Where the heck is everybody? I’ve been trying to study all day, but still haven’t gotten anything done yet. I do believe I’m the most horrible student in the world. But I have managed to play my guitar, eat, and do everything else but study.

    damn, I need some boba…

    Posted by Ted @ 09:57 PM PST [Link]

    hahah, look. I fucked up the entire bottom half of my post *shruggs*

    and my ass comment is on the sidebar. woo *raises the roof*

    Posted by James @ 09:55 PM PST [Link]

    Work work work, I worked my ass off today. While I like working there and I like working with Scott and CK, they're lazy ass hell and some major slack offs. I end up pulling my fair share of the weight and it pisses me off. My back hurts from lifting movie stacks after movie stack. But I believe.

    I do believe that I have no idea what Rachael is talking about lately. *shruggs*

    Ashley- I WISH I could get into the habit of remembering my dreams, but I can only remember my dumb ones. Like my water world one where I decided that I wanted to start a pyramid group, even though the streets were covered in water, and then I swam away and a midget was chassing me and I kicked him in the head and he died and blah, you know what I mean? Those tripped out dumb dreams.

    Anywho... I'm tired, for real.

    Those people on Jerry Springer boost my confidence.

    Posted by James @ 09:52 PM PST [Link]

    Rachael n'existe pas.

    Welp, there's my existential insult for the day.

    GRAPENUTS IS GOOD! (and Daniel Pinkwater is a minor deity)

    Posted by Bob @ 09:36 PM PST [Link]

    Sorry to post twice in a row, but this was priceless. I just got off the phone with a surveying group (reminded me of you, Eva) and I had the most fun with them EVER. Here is the best that I can recreate the conversation:

    A = Me S = Surveyor

    S: Hi, this is __ Travel. We're not selling anything, we are conducting a one minute telephone survey. May I speak to the head of the house?
    A: This is.
    S: Have you vacationed in the last year?
    A: Yes.
    S: Where?
    A: England, Spain, France, and Italy.
    S: Really. When did you do that?
    A: Last July and this March.
    S: Did you stay at any hotels?
    A: Quite a few.
    S: With friends ever?
    A: No.
    S: In a condo?
    A: No.
    S: Have you ever been on a cruise?
    A: No.
    S: What about a tour.
    A: Yes, twice. They both sucked.
    S: Hmm... alright.
    A: Next question?
    S: Uh... um, what is your DREAM vacation? Anywhere in the world?
    A: The Riviera.
    S: Okay. How old are you?
    A: Do I have to tell you?
    S: Preferably.
    A: What if I don't want to... (at this point I'm whining)
    S: Are you between the ages of 30-65?
    A: No.
    S: 20-80?
    A: Sure.
    S: What is your line of work?
    A: I'm not at liberty to say.
    S: Pardon me?
    A: I can't tell you. It's illegal.
    S: Okay... what about your spouse?
    A: He works as a trained assassin for the gover..I mean.
    S: Pardon me?!
    A: He works at an ISP. Internet stuff, you know.
    S: Um... thank you ma'am. (confirms a bunch of stuff like my name + phone number and hangs up real quickly)

    God that was fun. (sorry it's so long. I couldn't resist.)

    Posted by Ashley @ 09:11 PM PST [Link]

    I do believe Rachael is more paranoid than me. Calm down, girl. We love you, don't go crazy on us. And I remember my dreams because right when I wake up I write them down. It's just habit.

    Posted by Ashley @ 08:54 PM PST [Link]

    I am a bit bored. Tony has his group and Nicole is home doing laundry. I would like to go out and do something fun tonight, yet nothing interests me. There is little on television. I keep signing on to Puppetmaster to find nothing new. It is as if I am waiting for someone to say something of interest, only if you do I won't believe it.

    I do not believe Meghan went to a party to watch child pornography and fled when the police arrived.

    I do not believe Ted has ever been to a rave. I do not believe Ted has ever been to a rave where police fired gunshots even more.

    I do not believe David knows how to ballroom dance. I do not believe he lives in a small town in the South and is open and liberal as well.

    I do not believe Philo had a menage a trois. I do not believe Philo had a menage a trois with the two hottest men in the den even more.

    I do not believe Ashley remembers her dreams. I do believe Ashley is dreaming when she says she lives in Vancouver or that she ever swallowed a bead.

    I do not believe Eva would take a job as a telephone solicitor. I do not believe toffee yoghurt exists.

    I do not believe James would say anyone was smart who was able to find him.

    I do not believe Bob works as an American diplomat in a land with bombings. I do not believe Bob is an American diplomat in a land with terrorist bombings where he can blog about it even more.

    Is Tony where he says he is tonight? Do Nicole's clothes ever get dirty? Am I real or am I a figment of my own imagination? I want to believe and I trust no one.

    Posted by Rachael @ 08:16 PM PST [Link]

    For lack of better things to write about, here is my 'story' from my entry application. I found it while digging through old files.

    "When I was twelve I had this passion for making friendship bracelets. I would sell them to people I knew. I could make about twenty different designs of bracelets, and thought I was damn cool. Anyway, I was commissioned by a friends' dad to make him one. I measured his wrist and was good to go - the catch? I had to put a bead in the middle of it. But this wasn't just ANY bead. Oh no. This bead was *the* bead. He'd had this bead for over 20 years. He treasured it, and wanted a bracelet so he could wear his bead. Looking back on it now I pity him for that fact alone, but even moreso for the rest of the story I'm about to tell you.

    So, Steve wanted to wear his bead. I made one bracelet, but forgot to put the bead in it. So no go. I started over. The second bracelet was too small. By then I was getting fed up. FINALLY, the third time over I managed to make it the right length. I put the bead between my teeth while i was fixing up the string to put the bead onto it...

    And promptly swallowed it.

    Anyway. Steve got his bracelet. With the bead on it. And no, it wasn't caught in my throat and no, I didn't throw it up. It went all the way through. I soaked it in bleach after. I am a dedicated worker. And he never, ever, ever knew. He still wears the thing religiously, every single day of his life.

    For this story alone I should be a contestant."

    Posted by Ashley @ 07:57 PM PST [Link]

    Ok, I’m going to try and have a productive day today. Only two more days and I’m off on a little adventure.

    Eva- Just out of curiosity, do you know who Northern Picture Library is? They are such a good band and one of their songs is in my top five fave songs of all time. I think they are from Scotland, but I could be wrong.

    James - I heard that if you start crying when a cop pulls you over, then he won’t give you a ticket. Then again, maybe this only works for girls.

    Ashley did you mention something about you being a awesome cook and making us dinner? I’m definitely on my way this time! *trips over bank account statement, credit card bills, student loans, and everything else in my room that says I have no money to buy a ticket to Canada* Damn it all…

    Posted by Ted @ 04:03 PM PST [Link]

    I went to my aerobics class this morning. It was the perfect way to start my day. I feel energized. A fresh spinach salad waits in my refrigerator. Dido is singing "I'm No Angel". I really understand what she was trying to express. I have Dido's autograph. I met her when she was doing an in-store performance to promote her cd. Tony and I went to the concert that night as well. She is very sweet and almost shy in person. I had not expected that.

    David, I don't mind being labeled as the bitch. What is a problem is when a woman has something to say and is labeled a bitch for saying it. If a man had made a similar comment about James he would likely be credited as a smart and cunning player. It is this dichotomy I take issue with.

    I think I will fix take my salad up to the park. I need to bring my poor site up to date. If readers will be visiting it soon I would like to see it be a bit more up to date. I hope those of you who are working are having a good day. I know I am.

    Posted by Rachael @ 01:55 PM PST [Link]

    So is anyone besides me SICK of explaining to newbies about who Kaycee Nicole is?

    Quoth James:

    I did dance with Jeremy a lot, he digs me, I can tell because I had to keep moving his hands off my ass.

    Yeah, that's usually a clue. But I tend to get slapped a lot when I drop hints like that.

    Philo, we work to earn the money to buy the food to keep the strength to work to earn the money to buy the food...

    Posted by David @ 12:27 PM PST [Link]

    I don't even know where to start. I decide that for a day I'll ditch the net and do my thing in the real world and I come back to find that Nancy is real and that I'm so dumb for not realizing that I aws just at her site the other day. But I guess thats good right? everybody was hoping that she was real right? Right?

    I went to a gay club to see the drag show last night. Me and Jeremy and Christine went. Those queens were torn up! But the club as a whole was fairly cool. At first all the overweight slightly deformed guys kept asking me to dance then this one guy with a slanted forehead kept moving up on me on the floor, then Christine got hit on by this really butch lesbian couple (they were asking her to be thier third- but what could she expect, wearing a backless shirt and sme ghetto hoops in her ears?) and it totally freaked her out because, I'll have to admit, they even scared me. But by the end of the night I met this nice guy; Josh. He was cute *yawns* Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't. I did dance with Jeremy a lot, he digs me, I can tell because I had to keep moving his hands off my ass. *nods*

    Oh the way home I got stopped for speeding though. At 3:30 in the morning I got stopped for going 77 in a 60 zone. Damnit, theres ANOTHER summons. My mom is going to love this one, just the other day she was telling me to slow down in that area, but I was tired and I was ready to go home. I'm just glad he didn't run my plates or he would have found those two parking tickets I ripped up in my school's parking lot last year. Thats how they do it right? Run the plates? Anywho, I have to call this special number for into or whatever, maybe I'll just have to take that 6 hour class on speeding and proper car management and be done with it. But maybe it'll aslo involve some community service. *whines* oh geeze.

    Also yesterday when I was at the mall spending some of my birthday money I was in American Eagle buying some jeans and I got that burning sensation in the back of my head, you know, that one where you know somebody is looking at you, and I turned around to be standing face to face with Jarrett. Who spoke and started to rant on about how he doesn't work at Old Navy anymore and now works at American Eagle (damn, no shit). I stood looking at him through slitted eyes, turned, payed, and just walked off, not saying a word. Now, tell me, if you stand somebody up two weekends in a row, do you walk up to them and talk as if nothing happened? That kid has some balls if you ask me, some mighty big balls. I never expected him to chat with me. Lordy.

    Anyways, I've got to go to work today, as I do every monday, but today its from 3-9:30pm. Yum, stock day and a 6 hour shift. *dances* and tomorrow I have an appointment to get my toungue pierced at 4pm, I'll have to beg for the schedule to be shifted if I work tomorrow.

    Posted by James @ 11:01 AM PST [Link]

    Uhm, Tell me again why it is we have to work for a living?

    Posted by Philo @ 09:49 AM PST [Link]

    Gawd, I'm so hungry and all I have for lunch today is a half a can of soup. I think I'll go out and get food at the cheap Chinese place. Hey, salt and MSG are important nutritional building blocks, aren't they?

    Philo, I've got to disagree with you on the "laundry = satisfaction" thing. I feel just the opposite--to me, laundry is one of those chores that is Never Done. You do one load, you've got two more to go. You do all your loads, you've still got to fold / iron / hang up / put away. And by the time you've done all that, three days have gone by and your laundry basket is half-full again. I get much more sense of a job well done from vacuuming or cleaning the windows. Maybe because I do it so rarely, I can really tell I've made a difference.

    Eva--I was rude to a telemarketer this weekend. (Not a survey taker--I'm generally nice to them.) My school alumni association called me, and the guy was asking all kinds of zero-content questions. Was it true that I had earned such-and-such a degree in 19--? (As if my record wasn't sitting right in front of him.) Had I benefitted from my degree? Was my address still XYZ? What's the weather like there? This went on for about five minutes, then I snapped. "Look, I don't have time for this. Why don't you ask me for some money, so I can say no and we can both get on with our lives?" It still took me another five minutes to get him off the phone; I don't know why I didn't just hang up on the guy. There is nobody--not insurance salesmen, not junk investment brokers, nobody--more persistent on the phone than university alumni associations. Don't ever give them money; it only encourages them.

    Rachael, don't be too eager to disavow the title of bitch. We need a bitch somewhere in the mix, before we put Bertie to sleep. Hang on Bertie--nerves are fraying. Soon the fur will fly, I'm sure of it.

    Posted by David @ 09:34 AM PST [Link]

    Aw no, not Nancy. Dammit, I was hoping she'd last longer. We're all going to miss you Nancy. Everybody--let's keep the Nancy spirit alive! *erects a little Nancy shrine in the corner*

    I'll try to be interesting later. (Shut up.) Right now I'm grieving.

    Posted by David @ 06:12 AM PST [Link]

    OK, so after the demo there really wasn't much to my weekend ... at least, nothing enjoyable. I didn't go out on Saturday night and I was still trying to get to sleep at 4:30am when Flatmate 1 exploded into the flat with a few people it sounded like he'd never met before. I'd left a note for the first time ever asking him not to do this since I had to get up for work at 8. I wanted to cry. There was singing, shouting, laughter and some girl being sick in the toilet. Eventually at 8 I got up, had a shower and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I told him I was pissed off and he started to retort that honestly I couldn't expect him to see a note on the fridge door and I have that band over (um, once a month, and they're pretty well-behaved and noise levels don't remotely approach what we're talking about here, nor the fact that I put up with this every weekend if not more often) and anyway why did I never complain before? Which was astonishing because this has been an on-going concern for months and we've sat and talked about it before; the French girl's predecessor already left because of this, and I am RIGHT BEHIND HER.

    So this guy sitting in the kitchen who I've never laid eyes on before starts telling me to chill out. Excuse me, but who the fuck appointed you mediator? Not that he was trying terribly hard to mediate; I don't think commentaries such as "Ohhh, she's pissed off" are very constructive, or in fact enlightening. He also called me sweetheart. I don't give a fuck if you're Cockney, you can fuck right off. I wanted to punch him more than I wanted to punch Flatmate 1, actually, which you understand is saying a lot.

    So Flatmate 1 shouted at me like it was somehow my fault that I'd been awake all night listening to his noise, and said well maybe he would do it all over again on Sunday night, and I said fine fuck you then or words to that effect and left the room with my miserable burnt toast. I had a cry and then went off to work where the toaster murdered my Pop Tarts. Work was OK but I would actually have done better without the breaks because that was when I would want to sleep and cry all over again. Anyway, we finished the boring investments survey at long last ("Not on a Sunday you don't!" yelled some irate woman when I phoned to see if she would do it. Thanks, if it's any consolation I'm not having a great day either) and started on a survey of graduates which was longer but much more interesting and entailed talking to nice people. Like the day before, I was the last one out because I got someone to agree to be surveyed just as everyone else was finishing up. But I don't mind because I get more pay then.

    I went straight to see a room in a housing co-op round the corner from my place. I've been to a couple of parties there before and know some of the people. It would definitely be a lovely place to live. The room is small, but it has a platform bed, which is something I've always wanted, and the peace would just be amazing. Unfortunately it will be a few weeks before I hear. Meanwhile, I'm desperately looking. Although I imagine Flatmate 1 and I will be friends in future, there is no way I can live with him any more. It's got to that point and if I were to cave in now and decide to stay out of hope that things would change, I would only be disappointed - I've already been down that road.

    Nothing much seemed to be going on in my flat but I wasn't about to spend another night lying there hoping things wouldn't start again. My ex Someone or other was good enough to take me in and let me crash on her sofabed. Walking to her new one-bedroom flat (god I'd love one of those, did I say that already?) I felt like I was in another city. I'd never even seen the canal before, and I was somehow reminded of Belfast. I slept so well I couldn't believe it and when she knocked on the door in the morning I had no idea where I was for a minute. Then she gave me a lift to work. I am forever in her debt. Since she has NO money at the moment and is living on bread and bran flakes, I want to cook her a nice meal this week.

    Posted by Eva @ 04:35 AM PST [Link]

    Nancy, I enjoyed playing this game with you. I will miss your sense of humor and support. I also wish you did not have to leave. I'll be more in touch when it is my turn.

    I have to say that playing Puppetmaster is very odd indeed. My life seems to be taking place in a fishbowl these days and everyone is free to comment on it. That visit at work yesterday made that particularly clear. It is after all quite humorous at this point. I have written very personal information I imagined no one would believe and everyone seemed to. Stories of my life have also been written I felt certain none would question. They end up drawing attention from some of you. But am I really the Puppet Peter? It is possible. I will gladly accept all Puppet votes in any case.

    As for labeling me a bitch, I do not find that to be a particularly fair assessment. I do say what is on my mind, sometimes to a fault. I am merely being me however, which is more than I can say of some contestants. It is not as if we would all magically become the best of friends here or in the real world. While I sincerely enjoy almost all of you I will not pretend I do if it isn't how I feel.

    Nicole and I went to Linda's tonight for a beer and shot a few games of pool. She claims her grandfather was a pool hustler who taught her everything she knows. What I know is she always wins. We were sitting outside on the bench tonight. We discussed how different our childhoods were. Nicole was what some call a military brat. She never stayed in any one city for very long growing up. My parents were as solid and grounded as an Oak tree. We lived in the same house, went to the same Catholic church, had the same neighbours, all in the same small town.

    Today Nicole longs to be settled and put down roots in her life. I feel quite the opposite. Tony and I have discussed moving to New York or traveling overseas many times. Nicole dreams of Mr. Right and a small house in Fremont. I dream of sunnier skies and larger cities. What is humorous about it all is Nicole has a very difficult time staying put, while I find it difficult to leave. One of these days I will. I await those days with anticipation.

    Posted by Rachael @ 03:07 AM PST [Link]

    Damn! Nancy left the game so soon? When you kept mentioning how screwed you were, I thought you were just bluffing. You know, like the kids at school who'd say they hadn't revised at all for the exams and then got the best marks. Well, you're already sorely missed. I'm happy that I did, indeed, stumble upon your site a couple of weeks ago.

    Nancy .:. 03:49PM PST
    Well, we know James isn't out, but other than that ...
    Hah. Think again.

    Philo, the Foot & Mouth Festival continues next weekend - that enough notice for you? The next part of it is 2 days of workshops, discussions, films etc in Studio 24. I heard lately that there is talk of closing Studio 24 down. Some guy has bought the land around it and wants to demolish everything. The recent moral panic probably didn't help - the usual suspects went berserk because a fetish ball was held there, although I recall a councillor with a more firm grip on reality said something along the lines of, "Unless local residents are kept up at night by the sounds of whips cracking and shrieks of agony, I don't really see a problem". Amen to that. Studio 24 is a great venue, with a lot of different clubs on, not to mention bands. If it were to close, the "alternative" scene in Edinburgh would be pretty lost ... not just because a lot of its clubs happen there, but half of those kids work there as well!

    ... The other half seem to work in the phone survey place with me. I guess it makes sense. It's one job where it doesn't matter what you look like. I also spotted at least 10 of them on Saturday's march.

    Bob, I don't have anything much to say about capitalism - or its alternatives. I don't know exactly where I stand in terms of political labels any more (well, apparently I'm very left libertarian). Personally I'm more interested in a lot of the issues that get brought up at events like Reclaim The Streets - people come together because they care about things like the environment, human rights etc. Yeah, I'm an earnest naive lefty, that's right. But then, you eat at McDonalds. Peter, yep that's a Free Mumia banner ... I don't know if we really want to get into this discussion do we? However, this makes for interesting reading; if there's anything in it you object to, I'm keen to hear it. In a non-confrontational sort of way. Like you say, it does seem like a sympathetic cause over here so I'd like to know what the folks over there think. But if people are just "sick of hearing about it", that strikes me as a really sad state of affairs.

    Damn. I only skimmed the posts over the last couple of days and now I've missed, among others, Ashley's dream. Four posts a day now, Belinda? Thanks, but I reckon you kids won't be hearing that much from me. Things have gone a little haywire and I don't know if I'll be on-line that much, though you never know I guess. Bob, I hope "She" gets better.

    Hang on a minute. Meghan hangs out with strippers and watches porn, and then calls her sister a slut because she's wearing a see-through top? Am I missing something? 'Cause Meghan, I really don't get you.

    Rachael, I saw Run Lola Run about a year and a half ago. I enjoyed it a lot. I hear the director's new film, The Princess and the Warrior, is a bit dubious though. It's out here at the moment.

    Again, my post is running on too long. I'm "working" in the lab today so maybe I'll wait for someone else to break up my posts a little, and then tell you what's actually been going on with me.

    Posted by Eva @ 02:52 AM PST [Link]

    Well gee, wouldn't that have been cute. I had finished writing this update for THE WRONG SITE, my WEBSITE, and just as I was about to upload it, I closed the program. Which was quick enough, thank god, not upload to my site. I also used the word "PuppetMaster" about four times, which would have been JUST GREAT and a DEAD GIVEAWAY, considering my site gets a unique visitor every, oh, four minutes. I'm surprised more of you haven't found me. Or, if you do visit my site, are completely overlooking my puppetish undertakings. Muahaha. Enough before I give myself away. ...That is, if I'm real.

    Man, I'm really gonna miss Nancy. I wasn't lying when I said she was my favourite poster. Her and Philo have my hearts. PHILO, YOU BETTER STAY PUT, MOFO. IF YOU LEAVE, I'M QUITTING. Well, not really. But I'll post way less.

    I have the urge to go on a chocolate binge but I cooked this HUGE meal tonight. I am beyond stuffed. It consisted of some rice pilaf and veat (for you non-vegetarian savvy, veat is the non-meat equivalent of chicken), and cornbread muffins. And coconut for dessert, much to my dismay, I'm following the monkey theory all too well... how about I go get some bananas? Mind you, this was at midnight. I always seem to forget to eat until it's way past when I should, but by then I'm starving and HAVE to. But damn, my dinner was good. I am a GREAT fucking cook. Not to brag, or anything. If any of you would like to stop by after this game is over, I'll make you dinner.

    In other news, I need a new theory. Fuck.

    Posted by Ashley @ 02:26 AM PST [Link]

    No! Not me! I was eliminated? Seeing as Nancy and I are actually the same person twice removed, forgive me people for taking this one personally! It hurts! Nancy, I love you lady and I'll be reading Jill Matrix even more now than I already was. It won't be the same as having you upstairs in the pad with the slanty floor, but it's the next best thing to being here. Darn, All the groovy lesbians are leaving the hood. Sad Christmas is all I can say. Can't we keep her Ernie? Please?

    The House Mate and I've been out back tonight gnawing on BBQ. A hungry man dinner for a couple of hungry mans. Coming in he snuffed out the last of our backyard tiki torches and said, "I'm Sorry Philo, The Tribe Has Spoken." Doh! I ran in to see if Ernie'd whitewashed me yet and found it wasn't me, it was ME instead! Oh Nancy Nancy Nancy. Who is going to believe our little game without you here to play it with? I'm sure someone had to be buying it, right? Cuz ya know dem two old homos must be Puppet/Master cuz who'd of thunk of such a thing. All I can say is I feel like I've lost my beard.

    This Gay and Lesbian Education Moment Inspired by Ms. Nancy. Today's topic: The techniques Gays and Lesbians use to hide their homosexuality. These include everything from "passing" to being deeply closeted, using a "beard" (dating a person of the opposite sex (usually also Gay or Lesbian)) to dispel rumors, denial, religious conversions, etc.

    My bedroom is dazzling to the eye it's so squeaky clean now. I still wouldn't eat off this floor though if I were you. My overdue bills are sorted. It's a step. The last load of laundry is in the dryer and say - doesn't finishing your laundry bring probably the single greatest sense of accomplishment in the whole wide world? It does for me.. Well, that and staying in the game for another round. Woo Hoo! It's been a day chock full of accomplishments. If only victory this time wasn't so bittersweet. I'm missing you already Nancy! Bye!

    Posted by Philo @ 12:14 AM PST [Link]

    Oh Nancy I am going to miss you dearly. But now I know where your weblog is, so i am happy. Worked again tonight, I like closing with Andrey. He is really easy to talk to and isn't as snotty as A.J (who I hear is on some sort of mood stabiliser meds). Blue, a co-worker of mine called in tonight. She broke her leg, when I asked how, she told me this horrid story of how she and her bf got into a fight and it ended with him pushing her down the stairs and her in the ER. I told my mom about it, and she wants me to have he come stay with us for awhile. We will see.

    Peter I am still here and hope to be for a little while more.

    My sister is mad at me because I called her a little slut. Honestly, I do not want to see her nips first thing in the morning. She walks around the wole day in short shorts and see through tank tops, and thinks it's just fine and dandy. She retorts back with, "At least I'm still a virgin." and then begins to cry over how I have "destroyed" our grandma's room. I wonder if I was like that at 16. I know I was a little snot but she's rediculous. I'm going to bed. Night all...

    Posted by Meghan @ 12:06 AM PST [Link]

    Sunday, July 15, 2001

    NOOOOOooooo… not Nancy! Why Ernie??? Why??? Who’s going to heal us if one of us gets hurt? Well Nancy, you will be sincerely missed here. Good luck in everything you do and see you in the post-blog.

    Posted by Ted @ 08:22 PM PST [Link]

    OH MY GOD... NO WAY... Nancy, darling, sweetheart, COME BACK! Goddamnit, Ernie, I hate you now. She was a) my favourite poster (sorry guys) and b) my pick for puppet. Sigh. My theory is screwed. I could CRY now. I am so dead, and the Weblog is now going to be boring as hell. NANCY, WE LOVE YOU!

    Fuck fuck fuck. At least she's real. I feel like quitting now. *sulks off with a grey cloud over her head*

    Posted by Ashley @ 08:03 PM PST [Link]

    Rachael, can't say I've heard from them at ALL yet! I guess I'm just not as popular as you *sniff* If anyone decides to get around to e-mailing me, I'll answer it RIGHT HERE on the PuppetMaster Blog. Now, wouldn't that be special? You know it would be. Mail me, goddamnit. I am bored. And I can't think of anything GOOD to write today. So you will have to suffice with short and meaningless posts. I just have to say, the suspense is killing me. Ern said we'll have to wait until 9 or 10 PM today because he's working, though. I JUST WANT TO GET AXED, ALREADY.

    Posted by Ashley @ 06:29 PM PST [Link]

    Woo-freakin'-HOO!!!! Party at Philo's house! (Wait, I gotta go wax my strings first....) This is one definite advantage of house living over apartment living. My dream home--after I win the 200 million dollar sweepstakes--will probably have a hot-tub; it will definitely have a sauna. And a big, private back yard for post-sauna snowball fights. (Yes, and it'll be in a snowy climate. I'm weird that way.)

    Bob. Yeowch. I hope everything's okay. Is your lady back home, or is she going to be in hospital for a while? This is of course the part where you gain major Considerate Points by running little errands and bringing her stuff to read (if she's a reader) or flowers, etc. Not that you weren't going to do that anyway. And not that we men actually think like that.

    I didn't think I was supposed to crunch my Boba bubbles, bubby. Time to go back to that café and give them a good stern talking-to.

    Posted by David @ 05:56 PM PST [Link]

    I wish we could stay in bed all day. Tony is still there and maybe we will. It's already 3:45. (laughing) It does not appear I am missing anything. I awoke at 11 wondering if I was still a contestant. With no revelations I decided to walk over to QFC. I brought back bagels, strawberry cream cheese, strawberries, the Sunday Times and a couple magazines. I stopped by Vivace for coffee too.

    We layed around in bed this morning eating breakfast and reading each other our favorite articles. I was pleased to learn Chief Seattle's grave has been rededicated. It was desecrated by vandals recently and that made me very sad. The dead deserve our respect, especially Chief Seattle.

    I do love our Sundays together. It is very nice tp have a day off when we can be together. Does anybody know when we will receive the news? Nicole was correct as usual. Run Lola Run was very good. Has anybody else seen it? Oh, I hear Tony in the shower. I think I need to join him. (laughing). Ashley, have you heard from the boys yet? Let me know when you do. More later.

    Posted by Rachael @ 04:03 PM PST [Link]

    Eggs are good. Eggs have protein. Turkey bacon is good. Turkey bacon has protein without all that fat. Orange juice is good. Orange juice has vitamin c. And the sun came out! It was hot out when the House Mate and I measured our back deck for our new luxurious hot tub. Can you say HOT TUB PARTY? He's buying it today! Woo Hoo! Alright, it's 3:30 and I'm determined not to sit around on my day off repeatedly checking to see if my tiki torch has be extinguished, no sirree! I'm going to go frolic in nature! I'm going to pump iron! I'll buy new music! Or maybe I'll just do my laundry, clean my room and pay those overdue bills. I've been putting that off this long though, right? Hmm. At least we know James will be sticking around. Hopefully I'll be seeing you later Mister. I need to get out of the house now. It's making me sick checking and checking this. I'm off in search of madcap (or painful domestic) adventure! Booyah! Booyah!

    Posted by Philo @ 03:58 PM PST [Link]

    Well, we know James isn't out, but other than that ...

    Rachael, that Starbucks thing is kind of stalkeresque. ... There must be 40 Starbucks here. They got really lucky to find you.

    Meghan, were you really saying before that you're in possession of underage porn? Bob, can you swing some diplomatic immunity for her after the feds raid Ernie's house to track her down?

    David, yes, grace is the best response/revenge. I'm glad I resisted temptation. My parents don't try to fix me up with men, although my grandma will occasionally say with a twinkle in her eye that it still isn't too late for me to marry a rich man.

    Ted, I keep laughing at the Boba thing. Most people where I live speak Spanish, and "boba" means something like "fool." Tapioca ... brrrrrrrr. Takes me back to school lunches. I never bonded with tapioca, although I learned to like sauerkraut eventually.

    Anyway, c'mon Ernie, oh PuppetSlayer. Do the deed.

    Posted by Nancy @ 03:49 PM PST [Link]

    Surrounded by beautiful girls and people dressed up in outlandish and colorful outfits that would make Alice in Wonderland jealous, in a run-down warehouse building where 500 people are jumping up and down to the grooving music and lights of DJ Kosho, all I could think about while I was sitting outside in the smoking area was, "I wonder who got kicked off puppetmaster"??? I even pondered whether the dingy building had a computer for me to log on to. And only to find out when I got home at like 6 in the morning that no one got kicked off yet. *sigh*

    James and David oh no, you guys are not going to get me started on food again! James thanks for the descriptions of your food outings, keep them coming. And David, BOBA IS NOT SUPPOSE TO CRUNCH IN THE MIDDLE!!! This is an outrage!!! They are supposed to be chewy and soft all around. That café you went to probably undercook them. Let me know the addy of the place so I can have it burnt down. I recommend you visit or move to the nearest Asian community so that you can try the real stuff. But major cool points to you for trying boba.

    Ok, that’s it for now. When is Ernie suppose to post who got eliminated?

    Posted by Ted @ 02:59 PM PST [Link]

    So I'm on my way home from the beach and I get a call on my cellphone, and it's from a "private number". "Hello?" I ask. "Hi," She responds. "Oh, hey, Hello pretty mama, what's up female?" (due respect to The Biz Markie) "Can you take me to the hospital later? You can just drop me off, you don't need to stay or anything." "Holy sweet fuck, what do you mean I don't have to STAY?! As if I would just go home and get a good night's sleep?!! I'll be there in 20 to 30, be ready. PUNCH IT MIKA!!!!" (Mika being Mika my half-Finnish friend, who we also call Helsinki Slim, and the person driving at this point). I, of course, go into hyper mode. It's sorta like when you get the invulnerability in whatever computer game you're playing, you just start freaking out and gettin' shit done. Long story short (yeah, I hear you, "TOO LATE!") She has a case of acute nefritis (sp?) which I guess means that Her kidney is none too pleased with Her and She feels like, in her words, She "just got sucker punched something fierce". The doctor seems to feel that She'll live, which is good, in case he wants to continue living. Urk. This all does not contribute to a mentally healthy Bob.

    Eva, you don't really hate capitalism do you? Where oh where do people think they'll find a better system? Look at every communist country left. China and Cuba (and I actually think Moldova returned to communism too). How they doing? Err. Socialist and semi-socialist countries? Poor medical care and insanely high taxes all in an effort to protect those people who evolution is trying to weed out. Yikes!! Where did that come from? Oh yeah, I'm a conservative jerk.

    And now, I'm going to log on to the BMW website and see how much it'll cost for them to make me a new 330 and ship it over here. That's capitalism baby.

    Posted by Bob @ 01:34 PM PST [Link]

    Just thought I'd get it out of the way early, so I can start to get used to it. If I'm not still here tomorrow morning...well...let's just say it would've been a good idea if I'd archived all of Pete's posts. Meanwhile, keep those cards and letters coming to davidpuppet@hotmail.com.

    Hah! Just when I think I can safely retire into a life of bitter cynicism, something goes right and I have to conclude that the world is, in fact, an okay place to live. The dance turned out to be a lot of fun--many new faces, and the Does were less predatory than usual. I even met an interesting girl who unfortunately was not a Doe, but at least came with a friend of mine and I don't think they're dating. The three of us went out for coffee afterwards, and had a good time chatting. An exchange of phone numbers ensued. It's nothing to compare to Philo's madcap adventures, but I've been hurtin' for even social intercourse lately, so I feel good. [ I knew that I would...]

    Oh, Ted! I also discovered that boba tea has appeared east of the Mississippi! I had some at the café last night. I think they must have undercooked the tapioca though--or is it supposed to be crunchy-chewy in the middle? Advise me, O conoisseur!

    Ashley, I want a bottle of whatever it is you take before going to bed. Seriously, you and Eva and your dreams--I tend not to remember my dreams, and when I do they end up being just a random jumble of impressions. Do you usually write down your dreams, or did you just write this one because it'd make a good Puppetmaster post? Don't worry about losing out on all the puppet-love; I'm guessing Ernie will eventually lift the three-post limit. In the meantime, I'm enjoying not having to spend an hour catching up each time I come back.

    Rachael's been spotted--or claims she has, in a desperate attempt to convince us that she exists. Hmmm? Rachael, as the apparent pin-up girl of the over-21 Puppetmaster fans, you'll be disappointing a lot of people if it turns out you're the Puppet. Then again, I still don't see any drama coming from down Louisiana way...

    Nancy, isn't being gracious to someone like your girlfriend's ex (who's behaved like a child) a great form of revenge? "Look at me, I won and I don't even need to rub it in." How satisfying is that? I'm sorry your folks aren't being cool about you cohabitating though. Do they keep trying to hook you up with a nice man too?

    I'm pulling a work shift tonight until 9 pm...it always messes me up when I work Sunday evening shifts. Normally I work Tuesday nights, so when I come in to work after a Sunday night shift, some part of me feels like it must be Wednesday. Getting myself onto a normal work schedule takes most of the week.

    Posted by David @ 12:37 PM PST [Link]

    Trying it on for size David? It looks pretty hot on you big guy. Honest! You might want to try a belt with that too. And socks, do you need any socks?

    Good morning. yawn. stretch. It's a good morning to wake and find that I'm still here, but then so are all of you. Nothing personal, you know that. It's just I have a hard time with long drawn out goodbyes and I'd rather start missing one of you as soon as possible, just so I'm still here. I'm listening to KFJC and starting a desperately needed, relatively rare, honest to goodness FULL DAY OFF! Yay! Thank you baby jesus for a Sunday free from obligations. Oooo KFJC just played that mystery band again! At first I thought they were called "Fawn Fibbles" and I went to Amoeba Records and they had no such listing. Next listen? Oh, it's "Fawn Fables", but there's still no such listing. I think I'll email the station. Time to go start my day with a nutritious breakfast. Don't forget boys and girls, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. See ya later.

    Posted by Philo @ 11:49 AM PST [Link]

    I tried, I tried, I honestly tried! But when I look back over at my bed with its two sleeping puppies on it, the warm, soft, cuddly covers, and the inviting and comfortable pillows and mattress...waking up before noon is not for me. Ever. I'm going back to sleep.

    Posted by Ashley @ 11:47 AM PST [Link]

    Posted by David @ 09:12 AM PST [Link]

    Hmm. I still seem to be at full contrast, no red letters across my face. So far, so good.

    I'm having a wonderful weekend. Yesterday was all social stuff. New friends, old friends. My girlfriend and I took my best friend [who just realized that the reason she hasn't had a boyfriend in five years is that she's more attracted to women] girl-watching at a WNBA game.

    My friend loved it, although she didn't really follow the basketball part. After, my girlfriend and I came home and had a really long talk about the future and what we'd like to do, how we'll run our household, etc.

    Two weeks from today, her mom is throwing us a housewarming party, which is just amazingly nice. [My parents will probably cover all the mirrors and sit shiva. And we're not even Jewish.]

    Why, yes, the party is the day after my girlfriend moves in, but she's one of those ultra-organized, ultra-efficient people, so it won't be an issue. Me, I still haven't unpacked completely from our vacation last month.

    The other highlight of the WNBA thing was meeting my girlfriend's most recent ex. You know. The one who when she found out six months after they broke up that my girlfriend was seeing me, called around the clock for days and weeks to tell my girlfriend she didn't love me and that she should be with her instead?

    I smiled. I was gracious. I looked at this woman who is my age and looks 50 and thought, "Neener, neener, neener" like a six-year-old. But I did not say it. ;o)

    Posted by Nancy @ 07:20 AM PST [Link]

    Aw, sorry y'all. My weekends are becoming flowing shades of Her, you know? Morning, afternoon, night, they all consist of time spent in Her presence. I really don't want to bore you with stories of what I did yesterday, because it consisted of a 4 month olds birthday party, a long afternoon nap, and dinner. Some activity ocurred between those I suppose but the details are hazy.

    Now I have woken up, eaten lunch (McDonalds is just as good in any country and maybe better overseas), and now I'm going to hang out at the beach under the watchful eyes of some Roman ruins. That's a pretty cool beach locale I think. And I'm not going with Her. Gotta have some time off. Right?

    Anyway, more when I return from Sunburn Land.

    Posted by Bob @ 06:04 AM PST [Link]

    Nancy, it wasn't my birthday doll. My birthday is in April, don't you remember? I'm an Aries, Gemini Rising, Moon in Aquarius - I like long walks on the beach, sunsets and exploring the essence from within. I like sipping Pellagrino with someone special. Dating applications and completely unnecessary spam may all be sent to philopuppet@hotmail.com. Of course I won't be writing anybody back until I'm outta here, but that could be any minute now!

    Another quiet day in the neighborhood. Whatever happened to Bob and Meghan? Did Bob go into hiding? Is he traveling incognito committing acts of international espionage? Did Meghan's author just get stuck? And where for art thou oh so special color commentators? Peter? Bertie? Eve? Where are Ernie and Belinda too? Where is everybody? On the upside I expected to see someone's pretty face lightened and stamped with red letters by now. So far, so good. I'm still here and in the words of the prophet K.C., "That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it!"

    What a strange day. It was grey and cold when I woke up and it stayed that way all day long. Looks like Summer has arrived. Time to start planning that vacation. I couldn't even get myself out of bed until the last possible minute this mornin - Who needs breakfast! Who needs a shower! I threw some cold water on my face, brushed my teeth, tossed on yesterdays dirty wrinkled clothes and hit it. I was even right on time. School was certainly interesting. I had several readings to do. Between them I snacked on salted cashews and strawberry fruit chews from the vending machine for sustenance. Delicious and nutritious. After class Haji and I went to that little organic tacqueria and it was so good it was as if they'd invented food. A chicken burrito for me and a Swahili delight or some such nonsense for her. We're both close to graduating and neither of us knows what the fuck we're going to do when we're finished. I have a feeling my life will change dramatically.

    As Woody Allen once said, "Meaningless sex ranks way up there on the list of meaningless things in life." Ideally I'd like some meaning, but tonight I decided to pay a visit to a certain local den of iniquity. With no meaningful options lurking on the horizon it was definitely time to address one meaningless basic primal human need. A very handsome blonde man in the jacuzzi and I locked eyes early on. I hit the steamroom and returned to find he had vanished. Later on another sexy stud was throwing me serious interest and we wandered off to a more secluded arena, only to end up having our little party crashed. Turned out to be Mr. Jacuzzi himself. Before I knew it I was in the midst of a three way with the two hottest guys in the place. Fun, hot, sexy, validating... on my list of meaningless experiences I couldn't have asked for any better. Now that that's taken care of I can focus on other stuff for awhile. A short while. Ok, at least a few hours, HaHaHa!

    I hope David had a blast ballroom dancing and got hit on by all the fine ladies. hehe Eva, I'm so upset I missed the Foot and Mouth Festival. Next time give me more notice. Rachael, that is so funny that you have high school boys hunting you down like bloodhounds! HAHAHA! James, Happy to hear you had good 18th Mister. Ashley, Repeat after me: "This is a game. This is only a game." As for me that just might be all folks. In the event I'll be seeing most of you on the post-blog.

    Posted by Philo @ 03:42 AM PST [Link]

    So the party got busted while we were watching the film. Oh the joys. I slipped out quietly and drove home, obeying all the laws, because I was a bit intoxicated and one of my cars break lights were out. I was about a mile away from my house when the road split into two lanes, and I stopped at the light. The car that was behind me, now pulled up to the left of me and the passenger opened the window and then asked me, "Why are you going the speed limit?" I turn to him and said, " Becuase m life isn't wirth arriving home 30seconds early." The light turned green and the guys, trying to show off, attempted to speed of but stalled instead. I went on my slow little way and laughed until I got home. The stupidity of some people amases me.

    I keep on checking back here, to see if my face has been greyed out, even though I know the results won't be out until EARLY Monday morning. I am addicted to this. I come here before I check my mail and that is obsessed.

    Posted by Meghan @ 02:25 AM PST [Link]

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