Ring, Ring.
6:59 AM. Ring ring, goes the telephone.
Ernie: (Where the fuck am I?) ‘lo?
Voice: GOOOD MORRR-NIIING ERR-NEE!!! Time for you to wake up.
Ernie: I’m awake.
Mom: You said you were going to try to get to work earlier. With all this time, you should walk around the block.(Ernie briefly imagines walking around the block on Telegraph Avenue at 6am, half-dazed in a bathrobe, stepping over hippies and crack addicts and homeless people. He smirks.)
Ernie: Okay, mom.
Mom: You should eat something, too.
Ernie: Okay, mom.
Mom: But not that the JACK-IN-THE-BOX next door. That will make you fat.
Ernie: Okay, mom.
Mom: Bye.(Ernie hangs up the phone and turns on the Television. CBS This Morning is doing a segment on a brawl that broke out with adults at a youth football game. Decides that civilization has gone to shit, he doesn’t really want to face the morning and decides to go back to bed again.)
7:02 AM. Ring ring, goes the telephone.
Ernie: ‘lo?
Voice: ERR-NEE!!! DID YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN? I’M SERIOUS. WAKE UP.
Ernie: Okay, mom.
Physically, I am here at work. Mentally, it’s 7:01 in the morning.
