Last week at a coffee shop, I had a chance to meet up with Rebecca from Hyphen magazine to share my experiences growing up with my sister, who is bipolar schizophrenic. Rebecca is writing an article for the magazine and is still looking for for people for interview, so if you grew up in a similar situation and are comfortable being interviewed, she’s looking for your stories, and you might find the experience strangely cathartic:
Do you have an Asian American relative who has struggled with their mental health?
Have you yourself been confused or afraid in trying to find them help? Frustrated by the mental health system? Felt alone? Worried about what this means for your own future and that of your family?
My own mother has struggled with schizophrenia for a very long time, and I would love to talk with you and share stories. I am interested in hearing what challenges you faced, both emotionally and in finding care for your relative, and how you are dealing with them.
Please email me at rebecca[at]hyphenmagazine.com.
Best wishes,
Rebecca
To be honest, this was probably the first in-depth, face-to-face conversation I’ve ever had with another Asian person who’s had a close family member suffer from a mental illness. There’s a stigma with mental illness with Asian immigrants and Asian Americans – so much so, that when Rebecca told me about specific support groups that exist in San Francisco relating to mental illness support groups that communicate in both Chinese and English, my first thought was “why do they have the luxury of talking about their feelings? I had to figure this shit out all on their own.” Which, of course, is a horrible thing to think, but it’s true. I’m thirty years old, and the actions of my sister have shaped me into the person I am today, for better or for worse, and there’s not much that can really be done at this point, except vent about it to the Internet if she freaks out.
I kinda laughed off the suggestion on attending one of the support sessions – the weblog is my therapy, I joked, and I’m a little worried that the meetings will be a little “Ya Ya Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”-ish, but I might give it a go and see if there’s anything useful for me. We’ll see.
do you really think the actual stigma is worse for Asian Americans? or is it just that Asian American (cultural) attitude and response to mental illness is different?
I don’t know about the Asian American community, but growing up in Caucasian mid-states there was plenty of stigma there as well.
True that meetings sound bothersome, however you never know what you might be able to offer someone in terms of support to those not fortunate enough to blog.
I like how it suggests that my mental risk may be at health, and they’re absolutely correct.
“When it comes to family life, the second generation’s embrace of mainstream culture can lead to confusion or conflict in the family… These changing dynamics lead to conflict between child and parent, which increases their risk for experiencing mental health problems.”
Is it all Asian Americans, or mostly Chinese American culture that feels this way? I am Japanese American, and my family has a history of mental problems including depression and bipolar disorder. We’ve always been pretty matter-of-fact about it, but maybe that’s because we have to.
I think there’s a lot of stigma no matter what culture you come from. Maybe it’s just the way that the health system is here in the US. In other words, maybe it’s our society that colors how we treat those with mental disorders and their family members, as opposed to individual cultures. I’m sure there are differences between cultures, but really in terms of the bigger picture, it seems that the whole country has an issue addressing these problems. Having had issues within my own family, I know how difficult it can be.
Hmm. Maybe I don’t mean stigma, as much as I mean, cultural attitude. Of course, now I called my blog post “stigma,” so no really going back now, but yeah. And maybe it’s not all Asian Americans, maybe it’s just my crazy family.
Eh, who the hell knows anymore? Sure as hell not me.
I brought up the whole stigma thing to a Mexican friend of mine, she told me, “Psychologists are for white people, Mexicans don’t do that….that’s what priests are for”. I don’t know how to feel about that bit of information.
Thanks for the mention, Ernie!
While all cultures stigmatize mental illness, and individuals within different cultures react differently (especially across generations), but Asians can have a distinct sort of denial about it. The US has a well-established tradition of talk therapy and we might readily think of going to a professional, but psychology is a relatively new field in Asia.
Don’t get me wrong, having a mental illness or a relative who has one is really hard, no matter what ethnicity you are. There are tough challenges beyond the illness itself, such as the lack of funding, the labyrinth that is the health care system and the laws that govern the rights of patients, and even finding the information that you need on the illness and its medications. But, add to that the relatives who may not speak English, the possible lack of cultural understanding between the client and the psychologist, the depressions that show up as “headaches,” or refugee trauma and it gets even more complicated.
By the way, Ernie, the support groups of the kind I’m talking about are totally not Ya-Ya. They’re more about sharing information on using the mental health system, keeping relatives off the streets, knowing that there are other people out there with weird lives–you know, practical stuff
Maybe going to that support group will help you figure that out, if you want to figure it out. It sounds as though you’ve made a lot of progress on your own.
Ernie, you may want to just give a support group a try. It may or may not be your cup of tea but you will never know unless you try.
I used my blog for my therapy forever but it wasn’t until I took myself to a survivors support group that 1) I realized I wasn’t alone and 2) I realized I was further along in recovery than the group was and I needed something more personal. Thus began 4 years of therapy, which got me the rest of the way through.
I can certainly relate to sort of the awkwardness, inasmuch as someone telling me I need to take my mother to a PFLAG meeting can compare (as in, I had to figure things out for myself, and don’t really want to relive the pain by being with her as she goes through it herself–totally selfish, I know, but hey, feelings are feelings).
I have an aunt who is herself special needs, and lives with my parents, so I’ve experienced some similarity in that regard as well. I don’t feel stigma, per se, but sometimes her actions (nosy and self-centered, but that’s just the way she is, she can’t help it) also shape who I am as a person. It’s tough to describe, and feelings on the issue don’t help any. Well, shoot, now I don’t even know what I’m saying.
Yes, I’m sure there are differences between cultures, but really in terms of the bigger picture, it seems that the whole country has an issue addressing these problems. Having had issues within my own family, I know how difficult it can be.
Seen this? Not that I’m implying anything, but it made me think of you
“Younger, healthy siblings of patients with schizophrenia show significant brain abnormalities…”
You might find it interesting. Or offensive (please don’t, you’re smarter than me!)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19994585/
Ok this is unrelated to your post but I didn’t knwo where else to put it.
I recently downloaded the Google toolbarand this “PageRank” thingie that shows me “similar pages” to the page I’m at.
So. What’s a page “similar” to yours? Take a look-see.
Big Pink Cookie – Creative GeekWeblog and photos.
http://www.bigpinkcookie.com/
“why do they have the luxury of talking about their feelings? I had to figure this shit out all on their own”
when you said that, my first thought was “whoa, that’s so asian.” that’s exactly the attitude we need to fight, the idea that of being “a rock” and handling shit yourself. sort of like dealing but also looking the other way. maybe the first generation didn’t have the luxury of community support, but we do. and there ain’t no shame in talking about mental illness, and it’s great that such a group even exists!
I think that Asian Americans in general (and this is coming from my old past life as a sociologist who was interested in studying mental health in regards to queer Asian men) look at this in different ways. Definitely the immigrants feel that there is a definite social stigma in having mental illness, and that the only way such illness can be seen as acceptable is if it becomes physical, like the Southeast Asian women who suddenly lose their vision even when physically they seem fine, or the men who suddenly die in their sleep because of PTSD because of war trauma.
I think for those of us who are American born, I think there’s a willingness to be more open, but I think that’s also because of our nature of being American, and that we have more of the capability to access and benefit from mental health services since we understand the American cultural context in which they come from. It’s scary because it wasn’t until I started working for this one health clinic transcribing in Oakland that there are so many immigrants who are being prescribed antidepressants because they’re unable and/or unwilling to access mental health services.
I’m glad that more people are starting to come out as Asian Americans and having family histories of mental health, since it at least helps people to start realizing that there can be something done about it besides shoving it onto the backburner or acting out. If only there was a way to make it more accessible/pertinent for those of us who are immigrants…
Ernie,
You’ve known me for a while now, and you know that there are some parts of our lives that we certainly can relate too.
I strongly suggest attending a support group. It opens your heart and your eyes to what it is you are facing. It puts your problems into perspective rather than internalizing it under your own super magnifying glass.
It’s helped me address the problems I’ve had dealing with my father’s bout with Alzheimer’s, and has helped considerably in dealing and letting go of the the emotional baggage I had difficulty dealing with as an Asian-American. Most of all, you will come to realize commonalities with people experiencing the same emotions you are feeling, helping you gain the strength to deal with what most people don’t worry about. You develop your own emotional tool kit from hearing and sharing the experiences that you go through.
If you need someone to go with you, I’d be happy to come with. It’s about being a brother who cares about his family, as well as himself.
Ernie~
I think each culture deals with this in it’s own way, but in the end we are all people, and loved ones, trying to deal with a challenge. As the sister of a bipolar latina, I can definitely relate-
The funny thing is, is I tend to automatically take the same stance as you- I figured it out by myself- you do it now.
Whereas my family is very very big into talking about ones feelings and staying in it together.
They are also into keeping the secrets in the group, and I’m a blogger.
So basically I’m the lone-wolf bigmouthed stoic sane one.
Anything like that in your brood?
stigma is not restricted to asian families. Families with loved ones who have mental health issues need lots of help.