little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

succulent in its poultricide

My first five days living in San Francisco thus far have been nice. Since I’m living in the Twin Peaks area of San Francisco where there seems to be this perpetual blanket of fog, it’s twenty to thirty degrees cooler than the sweltering condo in Fremont, where there is no A/C. My dad’s currently living there, patiently waiting for me to call the cable company so that he can have his Chinese language cable channels, playing golf in his spare time, and praying every night that he somehow finds a Penthouse in the back corner of a bedroom closet.

After living in what seemed like a suburban isolated lifestyle for two or three years, I’ve moved to the city and have ironically ended up playing World of Warcraft three out of the four nights I’ve been here. The only difference is that now I’m at someone elses house playing World of Warcraft. But that, amazingly, makes all the difference.

It feels a little bit like a vacation, and I can accept that. Taking a vacation from myself. Yeah, that sounds just about right.

Oh yeah, and moving up here gives me blog fodder.

(The scene: My first full day in the city. Ernie and Jason are in Bernal Heights, on their way to a Thai restaurant. We pass by a chicken place.)

Ernie: Oooh. Good Frickin Chicken. I heard about this place. Do you know if it’s any good?
Jason: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, it’s succulent. IN IT’S POULTRICIDE.
Ernie: …
Jason: I mean, maybe. I’m vegetarian, I wouldn’t know.

(The scene: Earlier tonight, outside a bar in the Castro.)

Random guy at bar, walking up to my roommate: Baby, I’ve been staring at you the whole night. It’s rude to not say hi.
Don, my roommate: …and you are?
Random guy: What? You don’t remember me? God, how drunk were you, Don? (turns to me) Oh hey - you must be his token Asian friend! You’re the really funny one.
Ernie: Hi, I’m Ernie.
Random guy: Hi, I’m John.

(My roommate is standing behind him, mouthing the words “WHO’S JOHN?” to me.)

John: Well, I gotta go; pleasure meeting you, Ernie.
Ernie: Likewise!

(Waits until he walks up the street)

Ernie, to Don: “TOKEN ASIAN FRIEND?” IS THAT WHAT I AM TO YOU? “THE FUNNY, TOKEN ASIAN FRIEND?”
Don: WHO THE HELL IS JOHN?!

wow….first comment!!

as i read your post, i had this urge to sneak in to your fremont condo and plant a Penthouse…no, too tame…a Hustler magazine in the back of the closet. Maybe a little ‘hope’ will keep your dad guessing…

I’ve heard that the chicken place is good too. We should go there sometime, My Token Chinese Guy Friend.

dude that’s funny stuff. glad you’re back blogging again… been a while. but ha ha ha.. does he still not know who John is? that’s freakin awesome.

But will he find you secret stash of Inches magazine?

GFC is very tasty, altho unexpectedly greek. with a name like that i pictured cornbread, beans and mammies. plus frickin good chicken.

Wow, WoW! What server? Details man, details.

I agree, GFC is GFC. And Mitchell’s Ice Cream is around the corner on San Jose. Welcome to the nabe.

Well First I would also like to know who that Jon was and how come he knew Don your roommate?

Moreover I agree that Good Frickin Chicken is Good Frickin Chicken!

I would love to visit ypour place and see that penthouse that you are talking about!

With comments like “you must be his token Asian friend”, it’s a wonder Don doesn’t remember John. Then again, I wouldn’t blame him for blocking it out.

Better to be the gay asian token friend to your likeminded gay friend, than the gay asian token friend to, say, Minjung– at least this way you can compete for the same guy.

Hey jonny

Whatever you have said in your comment i am not completely agreeing with you.

Why the hell you need to compete for the same guy is it that necessart?

never a dull moment in SF! hehe.

In the Yelp comments re: GFC — “The veggie plate is great!”

“My first five days living in San Francisco thus far have been nice. Since I’m living in the Twin Peaks area of San Francisco where there seems to be this perpetual blanket of fog, it’s twenty to thirty degrees cooler than the sweltering condo in Fremont, where there is no A/C.”
good to hear that you are enjoying the natural beauty of San francisco. i know it’s a lovely place to visit. if you could send some photographs as you have been enjoying out there!

Gwah!!! That’s hysterical! The token Asian friend bit was pure gold! I was actually crying from holding in the laughter at work. *sigh* Thanks Ernie.

Hey, I just realized you actually hang around with my old friend Jason. We knew each other in Chicago when we used to go to the same Pagan group. Say hello for me!

well It’s good to hear that you are really enjoying there as the place is nice!

I wish that i would have been there and enjoying the beauty out there!!:)

Wanna say something?

In your honour, I actually managed to work “succulent in its poultricide” into my birthday family dinner. Top that!

It would just be awesome if he only happened to overhear that your friend’s name is Don and simply decided to mess with you two a bit, because if that’s what happened, it worked beautifully.

Otherwise, I’d be afraid for Don. Very afraid. What else does he not remember from his life??

My best friend just moved to Washington.

That means that I have the monopoly on being the token gay asian friend!

P.S> WHIch server on Wow?

Well Elea…in this case I had met John previously wearing a hat and sunglasses. This time it was sans hat and sunglasses. He looked quite different. I am usually pretty good at remembering things….important things like area codes.

Glad Don finally remembered who John was.