(Completely unrelated preface: Yahoo! 360° is looking for good PHP programmers. E-mail me at the LYD address.)
The scene: Me and two other gay co-workers are talking about the possible formation of a Yahoo! GLBT group, its first formal meeting to be held the next day.
Sean: Are you going to go?
Ernie: I’ll go if you go. What’s it about?
Jason: Recruiting and marketting, probably. It’d be a chance to be in the gay pride parade, I suppose.
Sean: How would a Yahoo! float look at a gay pride parade, anyway?
Ernie: Who knows. Hopefully they would place it somewhere ironic, between the Schmirnoff float and Daddy’s Bar. I wonder…(Cut to gay pride parade coverage on Channel 4. Insert generic footage of circuit boys covered in gold glitter dancing badly to house music here.)
Drag queen host of Pride Parade, whose name escapes me: (reading from script) That was DCQANC, the Deaf Circuit Queen Association of Northern California, simultaneously dancing and signing the lyrics to Madison Avenue’s club hit, “Don’t Call Me Baby.” What do you think, Jan Wahl?
Jan Wahl: I have a funny hat!
Host: *sigh* Next up, we have… Yahoo!.(cut to 25 purple and yellow cubicles on a flatbed truck, slowly moving at 2mph.)
Crowd: …
Spectator #1: Is there even anyone on this float?
Spectator #2: Uhm, I think they’re in their cubicles ohmygod are they wearing HEADPHONES?
Voice from flatbed truck, most likely mine: IS THERE A WI-FI ACCESS POINT ANYWHERE ON THIS FUCKING PARADE ROUTE?!
naw, y! should just hire tons of circuit boys who look like avatars. and get some superstar deejay to make a house track with the yodel.
I thought circuit boys *were* avatars.
Glitter and keyboards are a bad combination.
You crack me up, I want to be on that float!
Quite the plan for a float. Really got the creative juices flowing for that one!
Remember that time when your friend asked me if I wanted to be on a float? Because fag hags need love too.
Well, YahooIM does seem to be the cybersex cam software of choice. I’m sure there would be a lot of fans.
That is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
That drag queen’s name is Donna Sachet, and Jan Wahl’s actually pretty charming and articulate in person. My knowing these two things proves I’ve attended way too many community events. I’m moving to a town where the head of the Rotarians hosts the parades.
Huntington – try Hayward
Great post. Classic.
Funnier for me. My first roommate at school brought over a DCQ and his BF to make me uncomfortable once. *memories*
Prime Ernie form.
Y-bang has a whole new meaning for me now.
Frickin’ funny…laughed my ass off!
I’m converted. Can I be gay too please?
You dare to forget the House of Sachet! A pox!
lmao!
I’m not very good at programming.
Just got laid off today
I’ve *heard* of PHP, does that count?
What is love? Baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me…no more! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do….
Actually, I’d bet you could pick up WiFi now all along Market Street. Probably not the *only* thing you could pick up, if you’re not careful.