little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

the 10-sided die of “i don’t think so”: part 3

This weekend, I had dinner with a couple of bloggers that had just come from playing live action D&D. I’ve talked about it before on this website once or twice.

Ernie: So, how was it?
Jhames: Ugh. I didn’t play, but while I was sitting there one of the guys there hit on me. In costume and everything.
Ernie: Hey, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Jhames: Sweetie, no. He just walks up to me and asks if he can spank me, if I’m a top or a bottom.
Jason: He’s, uhm, very direct.
Ernie: Yeah. So he was in costume, huh? What was he dressed up as?
Jhames: An elf.
Ernie: That’s it?
Jhames: What do you mean, “that’s it?” He had pointy ears and was hitting on me.
Ernie: It would have funnier if it was a wizard. You know, some guy with a purple robe and a wizards hat?
Jhames: …
Ernie: …and the robe could have, like, little stars on it? And a magic wand…
Mike: Dude, stop.
Ernie: …and a beard made out of cotton swabs! He’s be stroking his beard when he’s asking if you’re a top or a bottom. That would be hot. Ohmygod, he could cast a BOTTOMING SPELL ON YOU!
Mike: No, seriously, stop.

Jason eventually shows me a picture of the elf in question on his digital camera, and I turn to Jhames to make a face of horror. In hindsight though, I probably shouldn’t have done that — I mean, there’s someone for everyone, right? And I’m sure that somewhere out there, there’s a gay man who’s totally into sexually assertive guys in their mid-30’s, running around in public parks dressed as the Keebler Elf.

Hey, people into S&M have their dungeons - maybe this guy has sexual fantasies of baking buttery crackers inside a giant oak tree. Who am I to judge?

Mmmm. Buttery crackers!

Man, there’s nothing quite as sad in this world as an overly-forward ugly fake elf.

Except maybe for an overly-forward ugly real elf. Those dudes should be frolicking with nymphs and making cookies and shit, not offering up McSpanky Meals to kids on the street.

Seriously, you don’t see the goblins doing that shit. They’re some ugly bastards, but at least they’ve got some self-re-frigging-spect. Damn.

Even though I’ve been sick last night, buttery crackers made by an elf does sound good. Mmmm.

Oh, you are *so* gonna be dragged to a game.

No pic of the elf? You tease.

buttery. crackers.

Dude. That is friggin’ *hilarious*. I laughed so hard my boyfriend thought I had gone mad.

Your world is scary and confusing to me.

Xkot is right, we don’t get the picture? What a gyp.

PS: I’m still looking for fuckingstopitalready.avi

ROFLMAO!!! thank you for making my Monday a little bit more bearable…

Funny or not… I’ll never look at the Keebler elves the same way again. Buttery crackers? Blech!

I really don’t have anything funny or interesting to say about Saturday

Fortunately, Min Jung does, Jane does, James has two things, and Ernie does and he didn’t even go. Me, I’m just tired. It doesn’t help that I spent Sunday afternoon and evening in Monterey, watching some folks pretend to be…

My pix from the event are up here

http://www.minjungkim.com/pix/hazah/

You may spot a keebler or two.

Ohmygawd I think I’ve died and gone to Walnut Creek.

Who are you calling a buttery cracker?!

Always after me Lucky Charms!

Wow Min Jung the pictures you have of the D&D event are truly disturbing. They are the epitome of geeks. Why does the “chick” (and i use the term chick quite generously) in the blue dress have torpedoes for boobs?

A HORSE! A HORSE! MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE!
get thee hence…keebler elves…and bake
thy buttery crackers!

Maybe it was just Will Ferrell trying to find a date?

“Truly disturbing” is a man screwing his kid. “Truly disturbing” is ridiculing people because they’re not like you. A bunch of people dressing in costumes and playing a game is not “truly disturbing” no matter how stupid the costume looks or how much you wouldn’t want to talk to them.

Nerd alert! Whoooop! Whoooop!
It looks like someone *cough*michael*cough* has inadvertantly come out of the SCA closet. Kidding. No I’m not. No really, I am.

Thanks MJ for the links to the pictures. I, of course, immediatly start cruising the directories looking for cute boys.

Who dis?: http://www.minjungkim.com/pix/sxsw2003/pages/sxsw2003_005.htm

lol

Just curious.

In case you needed to search the elf directory…

http://www.keebler.com/about/elves.jsp

Ain’t James like one of the most fabulous fags you’ve like ever met?

And he attracts the most people, seriously.

the most odd people, I meant. my bad

I found exclusive footage of this incident:

http://www.nolageek.com/images/elwood.gif

He’s kinda cute actually. I mean, I wouldn’t date him, but I’d like, do him in a tree or something.

I’m not an SCAer, Vincent, but I am a gamer. I just get pissed off at the “oh look at the geeks” attitude. The behaviour I see in bars and nightclubs is just as stupid, I think.

And, you know, not that such groups aren’t full of losers and dweebs — they most assuredly are. But there are also people who are pretty cool, and worth knowing, in such groups, and to wholly dismiss them because they like to dress in strange clothes and pretend they’re in a fantasy story is just as dumb as me saying “all sports fans are subhuman dumbasses with all the social grace of a gorilla.” It’s patent bullshit.

It occurs to me you know all this. Sorry. And sorry for spamming the comments page, Ernie.

you dweeb.

I forgot about that word. dweeb.

dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb dweeb.

It’s fun to say.

Ernie, seek help!!!

Whatever foo’s.
I had a blast. I had a fun time hanging with “geeks/dweebs/whatever”. For the most part they were super nice people, gracious, creative, entertaining, and could laugh at themselves.

Take note, you. (poking with a stick. Hit point 2 damage)

And mr http://www.minjungkim.com/pix/sxsw2003/pages/sxsw2003_005.htm is Mr Davezilla

http://www.davezilla.com

I’ll protect you!
*rolls dice*
nolageek disarms minjung with a +1 disarm bonus. whatever that means.

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