little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

the florida epilogue

(6:58am. The phone rings. Like always, Chinese is in italics.)

Ernie: Hello…
Mom: WHERE WERE YOU?! I WAS WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU!! I WAS GOING TO CALL THE POLICE, DO YOU HEAR ME? I CALLED EVERY MORNING FOR A WEEK AT 6:30AM!
Ernie: (I’m sure my roommate appreciated that.)
Mom: Wha?
Ernie: I was fine, Ma. I was on vacation for a week.
Mom: What, you lost your job?
Ernie: No, I still have a job.
Mom: And you’re going to work today?
Ernie: Yeah.
Mom: Then wake up! TAKE SHOWER!!
Ernie: Bye, ma. *click*

God I swear that sounds just like my mom.. except Chinese.

Hey I like what you did with the comments.

Ernie, you should market your mom as a wake-up service.

I love your mom. Let’s lunch soon!!!

If my mom started calling me at 6:30 A.M. people would wonder where *SHE* was after a week. I hope your roommate didn’t damage your phone too badly flinging it out the window…

You mean you didn’t call your mom once while we were in Florida??? I *told* you we had free long distance at the hotel!
Oh wait…maybe you didn’t want to talk to her…

the saddest thing about the cat hats, is that when you see that pretty white cat without a hood on, he’s got these stumpy little ears.

several of them do. unless they’re al just so pissed off that they permanently point their ears back in annoyance.

i agree with the first guy, the new comments section is much nicer. alright the return of the asian mum! as funny as ever..

Oh..I do believe I’m going to do the same with my comment section.

Ahh, your mom always cracks me up.

my grandma calls every weekend to wake the house even though my dad has told her not to do that. it’s been at least 10 years since she’s moved to the states…

oh well, every weekend is better than DAILY 6:30AM calls. i empathize.

won’t they ever learn?

Ahhhhh … nothing like a mother’s love! Even if comes off as psychotic sometimes, but like my sister says “Even wild animals kill for their children.” Deep, huh?

i cant believe we have the same mother,ernie.

whenever my mom finds out that i’d taken a day off.. vacation, sick, holiday.. anything. her first question is

“you lost your job?”
“no, mom.”
“are you sure? the job market is really bad right now, everyone is losing their jobs blah blah blah blah blah”
“i still have my job mom”

*sigh*

Your mom-posts are great. Sounds like my dad, only female and Chinese.

I should have called to make all our plans at 0630 just to make you feel at home.

the last crazy early call I got was from my grandmother–I was supposed to be at an interview in NYC on September 11th on the same block as the WTC.

She calls my cell phone screaming and yelling, and it takes several minutes before I get she’s worried about me–it wasn’t until hours later, when I got to work and saw the news, that I understood.

The hours between that phone call and my final understanding filled my morning with a surreal sense of unreality.

Screaming mothers (or grandmothers) should be chained until we’ve had a chance to get coffee. LOTS of coffee.

PS: we’d postponed the interview - i wasn’t in NYC at the time.

I just got back from visiting my grandfather. He assumes that because I wake up at 9AM that I’m lazy! I heard this accusation at least once a day while I was there.

1. I am on vacation & taking the time to visit the man even though it took me 13+ hours to get from the East Coast to the West Coast with layovers, etc.

2. He does not take into account that my going to bed at his midnight is my 3AM East Coast time, & my waking up at 9AM is only 6 hours later. Does he really expect me to get up at 6AM? & to do -WHAT- praytell??? The man lives in the boonies.

3. I’ve been working my ass off in grad school — I was physically ill for 4 weeks (with 3 trips to the infirmary).

*sigh*

wow. um, wow. I just, wow.

Wow. I’d like to say that was the funniest and most heinous thing I’d ever read, but I’m going to face it: my mother’s Chinese, and I do many more stupid things and forget to inform her that I’ll be awol while doing them.

I especially like the conversations that most Asian kids learn to hold with their family very early in the morning (read: while you’re moaning into the phone receiver and praying for sweet death and they’re telling you about the shrimp on sale down the street in the supermarket at which you do not shop), and then get in trouble for when you don’t remember hacing it.

*sigh*

Did you tell your mom you were on vacation and she just didn’t get it?

“Ni zhai na li?!”

I can just hear your mom in my head (cuz my mom is just like that, in Mandarin & everything). I wonder if your mom has the whole ‘panic mode’ down. My mom always talks as if the building is on fire.

Oh and when your mom gets REALLY REALLY mad/frantic, does she yell in Taiwanese?!