little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

The Ghettos of Vancouver

I’m currently blogging from Vancouver, Canada, where I’m staying with Ritchie until New Years Day. Whenever I need a break from the world and all the stresses that come with it, I seem to have this little habit of escaping to Canada, and for that (and to him and his girlfriend Cheryl) I am completely grateful.

After spending last night learning how to snowboard*, Ritchie, John and I were driving around East Vancouver looking for a bite to eat.

John: Aww, man. We’re in East Van, now. This is the shady part of town.
Ernie: (looks out the window) Doesn’t look too shady.
John: Are you kidding? Prostitution, violent crime, people smoking crack, gangs…
Ernie: Dude, you’re talking to someone who went to high school near Richmond and lived in Oakland for three years. You can’t tell me this place is as bad as there.
John: It is!
Ernie: Dude, where are the bars on the windows? Hell, these quaint little houses still have Christmas lights on them. Is there graffiti somewhere that says “EASTSIDE HUSTLAS WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY HOLIDAYS?”
John: You’re stupid.
Ernie: I’m serious! Is someone is going to offer us something if the car stops at an intersection? What are they going to offer us, sugar cookies? “Yo, man. I gots some sugar cookies.” “HIT THE GAS, RITCHIE! GO, GO, GO!”
Ritchie, who is driving: You really are stupid.
Ernie: Just saying.

Then we ordered a burger at Top’s Restaurant. It had two patties, a fried egg and cocktail shrimp in it. The End.

* Things sore: Wrists and knees (from falling forward), tail bone (from falling backward), shins (from trying to snowboard, toe-edge, off of the bunny hill), tongue (from biting on it as I took a particularly hard fall), pride (from looking like a retarded beached whale trying to get up from the fallen position, also from being lapped by nine-year olds on the bunny hill)

Heh, that’s so true. Even the crack whores are friendly in Hastings.

I’m currently up in the mountains of North Carolina nursing my own pride, and watching the preschoolers rip the snow. I know how you feel.

It’s Chinks on Ice II.

Just sitting here in East Van, in one of “those” little house. The rough parts of East Van have nothing on Richmond or Oakland Here, it’s just tragic, not violent.

Welcome to Vancouver Ernie. We’re supposed to have SUN until Monday - woohoo!!

Funny. I went snowboarding today too and I had the exact same experience. I’ve decided that I am just too old and uncool for snowboarding and will stick to old-fashioned skiing from now on. I just have to wait for my butt to heal.

Didn’t you go to high school in El Cerrito rather than Richmond? Really closer to Kensington if you look at a map…

Oh God, Ernie. I was just telling my family in BLIZZARD-CRAZY COLORADO that 2007 is the year I learn to snowboard. I’m scurrrrred.

Huntington: Uhmm… hey, it was the Richmond Unified School District, when I went. Everyone in Kensington just went to private schools, anyway.

[shifts in seat uncomfortably]

Dude!! I cannot believe you ate at TOPS, yikes. That is not the “bad” part of East Van, that is the residential, Chinese families with their adult children living with them part of East Van. Eat at Locus at Main and King Ed, Deluxe Moderne Burger on West Broadway (west of Arbutus). TOPS, cheesh.

(The only reason I remembered that is my mom went to ECHS in the late ’50s while living in Kensington when it was more middle-class.)

Happy New Year, Ernie! You were the first blog I ever read “back in the day”. Thanks for being awesome.

Happy New Year, Ernie. Keep those doors locked as you’re driving through East Van. Those are some potent sugar cookies and one whiff’ll knock your socks off!

happy new year–glad i’m not the only one getting bruised on the bunny slope. actually, i was more bruised falling off the chair lift than anything, but you should’ve seen the sheer quantity of black and blue on me. next time it’s a bailey’s and coffee and me sitting by the fire in the lodge, baby.

Happy New Year’s Ernie, Ritchie and John. East Van has nothing on where I live, where people got carjacked thirty minutes before out Halloween Party and the crack whores mix regularly with the homeless and gang bangers just outside the recycling center down the block. =P

East Vancouver…East Palo Alto…East L.A….what is it about that direction that turns people bad?

Sounds like a nice break.

Happy New Year, Ernie!

I wouldn’t recommend hanging around Main & Hastings but the rest of E. Van is pretty harmless.

When I was little my Mom waitressed at Tops.

“Tops”? That couldn’t have been a coincidence.
Nooooooooooo.

The first time I went snowboarding was pretty much the same. It was partly because I was scared of falling and getting hurt so I was extremely careful but I think that made it worse. So the second time I was like “ok, if I get hurt, who cares!” I just really wanted to be able to snowboard because I was tired of skiing. I haven’t been out alot of times since but I have enough times to say that I’m half decent at it. Jsut keep trying and it’ll come!! It’s fun once you get the hang of it. You do tend to get a pretty wet bum though, or at least I do, with all the sitting and putting the stupid bindings back on everytime you get off or are about to get on the chair lift. lol.

I’ve only been to Vancover twice. The first time was only fora few hours and I think we were in the East side too. I scared me because I had never really been in a place like that before. I was scare someone was going to open the tailgate of our truck and try to steal the stuff we had in there. It was interesting. lol.

Nice site by the way. I just came across it today. I love the simpleness of the layout!!

Welcome to the world of riding and Happy New Year, Ernie.

About your wrists & knees - remember - knee pads and wrist guards are your friends.

No, not for that reason…

Oh, and a helmet. Get a helmet.

I’m serious.

get those east vanners into the grottos of detroit.

that’ll teach them to cry!

welcome to canada, ernie!

oooops. “welcome to canada” sounded so…silly and patronising.

what i meant was…

I’M GLAD YOU’RE HERE!

p.s. i love your blawg!

god, i love vancouver.

and i would pay good money to see you on a snowboard!

happy new year!

Wow, lots of snowboarding comments. In Ern’s defence, he really did an awesome job on the snowboard. He was switching between heel and toe by the end of the night. (and Marlin, He also had my helmet. )

didn’t we have to go to East Van to pick up one of the only white girls (and people) we hung out with in VC, oh so many years ago?

Hi sounds like its not ”So”Bad Im from Harlem NYC they cleaned it up beautifly.Now its like it was in the 40s with the music clubs lot of Culture.I want to go to Van to do reserch on the gangs there,But the only Person I know is one of the Founders of The CBC.I was thinking of a Nice bed and Breakfast in the east side quite to write.have an suggestions>Ijust came out with my second book and am in Woodstock.came her after I was Injured at 9/11any nice places ples let me know thank you carolyn,