little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

The National Spelling Bee

Right now on the local news there is a live feed of the house of the local 13 year old boy who won the National Spelling Bee. I wonder if the news crew is aware that the kid isn’t going to be at his house since, you know, the spelling bee takes place in Washington DC.

This took top billing on the 11 o’clock news tonight, probably because it’s a slow news day and we don’t have any humpback whales slowly dying in our rivers this week.

I did get a chance to watch the live coverage on ABC, though - they had ESPN Commentators and those special segments that they do with Olympic Athletes - except replacing “athletes” with “11 year old geeky boys with glasses and braces.” One segment in particular focused on blond hair, blue-eyed, Tia Thomas - the all-American girl with pigtails and is athletic, unlike all the other home-schoolers and Chinese and Indian overachievers. Shots of her playing the flute and skiing and discussing Parkinson’s Disease over dinner. The producers had a plan for her, man. Pretty and smart, she was going to be America’s next sweetheart. Maybe even a walk-on role in a movie.

Then she spelled “zacate” wrong. Oops, her bad.

I would have live-blogged this - I mean, it’s two hours of live spelling, and thus, instant blogging zaniness, but for the most part, watching the majority of spelling bee consisted of the following: Some random Asian kid is given the task to spell “bouleuterion.” Kid writes with his finger on the back of the piece of cardboard with his name on it, while an ESPN commentator reminds us that he’s not REALLY writing the word out, it’s just his finger. After we watch him do this for two minutes, the bell rings, meaning that he’s spelled the word wrong, and defeated, he walks to his parents and sits with them, on stage. Neither of them console their child or look supportive.

“Holy crap,” I think to myself. “That kid is going to get the beat down when he gets home.”

I stopped watching after the girl from Florida that I was sure was going to win lost me ten dollars. I love the spelling bee because it’s part education and part freak show. They take all the weird overacheivers and the creepy homeschool kids and put them on tv. Oh, and let’s do it a) while they are under extreme duress and b) during the first couple of years when they are at their most awkward stage in life (well maybe not these kids, but for people in general…)

I never had much patience for the spelling bee.

In 9th grade, I was forced (against my will) to participate in my school’s bee.

I wanted to leave, but the organizers said I couldn’t.

So I purposely spelled my first word incorrectly and walked out the door.

I spelled vacuum like this: vacum. (I should have spelled it with a K just to be funnier.)

I don’t even know what “zacate” and “bouleuterion” mean and I’m an English major.

Thanks Hansel. I was worried myself.

In “Spellbound” there was one father who listed a 23 step process that his son went through at each word. It was truly frightening.

1) Visualize the word
2) Spell the word with your mind
3) Think of the definition
4) See the word from the back side
5) Mentally walk on each letter of the word
6) Remember this for future therapy sessions
7) Make list of ways to kill self
Write word with index finger and father’s blood
9) etc.
10) etc.
11) etc.

Don’t you think it’s a little weird that a national middle school SPELLING BEE is on epsn? Yet everyone is fascinated…

Spelling bees on ESPN and wushu can’t get any recognition as a sport. It’s enough to make a gal stand around in a dramatic pose.

But what was that word that the one kid couldn’t pronounce? That was totally slaying us. It wasn’t the whole word, just the first syllable, and he could. not. say it. Maybe it was a time-stalling tactical device, in which case: genius.

hi ernie~ long time reader of your blog. i know youre from davis so i thought you might enjoy this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qXMSsQKhGM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtgYOFZiS0U

take care

I feel so dirty. Granted, it’s midnight here, and I’m a bit tired (although I can’t sleep, which is why I’m reading your blog at this hour), but I read “flute and skiing” and for a split-second saw “skin flute.” I really worry myself sometimes!

Just caught this: Apple ushers — little, yellow, think different at http://www.engadget.com/2007/06/11/steve-jobs-live-from-wwdc-2007/

Local news crews are not exactly known for being on top of things or for intelligent reporting. This is great.

Thanks for starting my morning off with a good laugh. Dumbasses.

I’m pretty sure there’s all sorts of spelling bee propaganda out there. You know, stuff like: “If you spell this word wrong, you’ll never amount to anything!” “Kiss your dreams of being CEO of some Fortune 500 company goodbye, bad speller!” And maybe even: “Spell _____ or die trying!” The pressure is undoubtedly intense. Damn.

Now we need the extreme Survival Spelling bee Version, where they feed the kids to the sharks after they make a mistake. The kids, not the sharks.