Mom, on the phone: Ernie, I want to come to your house and help clean up while you’re at work. How do I get in your condo gate?
Usually I would have issues with my mother with free access inside my house, but considering I recently moved back to Fremont from San Francisco and my place contains unopened boxes and dead plants, I am more than open to asking for help. (By the way, for people who haven’t really read my blog for an extended period of time: Mandarin is in italics.)
Ernie: It’s pound sign, followed by 9111.
Mom: So, 9111.
Ernie: No, pound sign. Pound-9-1-1-1.
Mom: WHAT IS… POUND SIGN?
Ernie: Uhmm.. I don’t know how to say that in Chinese. It’s the button next to the zero.
Mom: ZERO.. 9… 1…
Ernie: NO, MOM! THE POUND SIGN.
Mom: …
Ernie: [sigh] Just wait until someone else opens the gate and come in behind them.
Afterwards, thanks to the power of the internets, I find that the Chinese word for number sign is “井號,” or jǐng hào. The jǐng in jǐng hào means “water well.” How could she not understand that? I call her back.
Mom: Hello?
Ernie: Jǐng hào! That’s what it’s called! First you press jǐng hào and then you press 9111!
Mom: What the hell are you talking about?
Ernie: jǐng hào. You know… water.
Mom: …?
Ernie: Water?
Mom: I have no idea what you’re talking about. [click]
To make a long story short, I have now been guilted to drive to my mothers house to drop off my gate opener. This means, of course, that my mother not only has free access into my condo complex and house, but I will now be punching in codes into my own complex, and if the number changes, I am locked me out of my own place of residence while my mother re-arranges my furniture. Or worse.
But on the flip side, everyone on the Internet now knows how to enter my condo complex. Please do not rob me. You may steal from my Indian and Taiwanese neighbors, however.
LOL
I ran into that a lot when I was a phone operator. I found the if I called it the “tic tac toe button” most people got it… but I have no idea if your mom would have ever played tic tac toe.
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hilarious — ah, ernie, i’ve missed you. welcome back.
That’s dedication Ernie, Actually posting the conversation WORD FOR WORD and not changing the code for security reasons.
You have another “867-5309″ on your hands. People across the world will be punching those codes into security gates everywhere.
my mom has keys to my house and uses it every sunday at 10am…and i mean EVERY sunday…i am fearful to have “friends” stay overnite…
after your apt is cleaned, “borrow” your gate opener back from your mom.
Xkot, that’s a good way to refer to it!
I used to tell my mother to use “that little sort of squzre symbol” -much worse!
I just tell my mom that button that isn’t a “star”
Would she know the number sign? The symbol under the 9 on her phone? The tic-tac-toe symbol?
Ah well, now she has the remote – who needs to worry.
yay, lets go randomly through to Fremont punching #9111 on condo complexes! If I find you Ernie, I will tipi ur door!
ur so hilarious! never fail to make me laugh! more power!
I would come a rob you, but you telling me how to get to Fremont. Would be alot like telling your mom what the pound key is.
Good grief! I’d be too afraid she’d accidentally change the code and couldn’t tell me how to get in my own house. Couldn’t you just draw a diagram?
I’m so glad you are back. Your mother stories are the best. I laugh so hard and then I realize how much I want top blog about my mother but sadly, she knows I have a blog and I think she reads it. That might be as bad as your mom having your gate opener.
Hugs
oh ernie, you have the best stories ever. (you don’t know me by the way, just a long time fan.)
In English it’s called an octothorpe. (ref:http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-oct1.htm)
It warms my heart that I’m not the only one dealing with parents and pound signs.
My mother calls me to help her spell words….
Omg! That was too funny! I’ve loved reading your blogs when I first discovered you about 3 or 4 years ago and you never fail to make me laugh. Many blessings to you and yours.
Oh so it’s called the jǐng hào.
I’ll be sure to rob your fellow neighbors.
When I was a kid I was not clear that it was called a pound sign rather than a tic-tac-toe board, and when I heard people on the radio encouraging people to dial thus-and-such number OR pound nine oh nine from your car phone, I thought they were telling people to hit the buttons extra-vigorously or something. It was embarrassing when I needed to have that explained to me.
Your stories are hilarious btw.
Ernie, you just reminded me about how they say “@” in Chinese (when someone is verbally giving you an email address).
They call it “shiao lao su” (little mouse).
So it’s
wo-de-email-”shiao lao su” yaHOO-da-com