So while I’m not an actual employee there, I’m a “web consultant” (stop laughing, you) at a large telecommunications company. A very large telecommunications company. Think “twenty thousand people in the building” large. Think “slightly smaller than the Pentagon, but not much” large. So, understandably, security is a big deal there. It’s an understandable concern, and they handle security well.
Too well.
Apparently, they equate “contractors” here with “third class citizens.”
Ernie: Hi, my badge still doesn’t work on any of doors and —
Pissed Off Woman at Security Station #8: IS YOU ON THE LIST?
Ernie: Well, when I was here yesterday it w—
POW@SS: I SAID, IS YOU ON THE LIST OR NOT?
Ernie: Well, I’m not an employee, I’m a contractor, so—
POW@SS: You a contractor? Come back next week then. NEXT!
Ernie: But I was here last…
POW@SS: NEXT!!
Ernie: … week.
That, in itself isn’t a big deal, really. What is a big deal? The fact that I need a working badge to get in AND out of the building. So it’s come to this — I now have to shoulder-tap before and after work.
Ernie: Excuse me, can you let me out of the building? It’s 7pm, and I really wanna go home.
Employee #23,798: You know, you should really go to the security kiosk and…
Ernie: I’m a contractor.
Employee #23,798: Oh. A contractor. I guess so.
It’s like I’m 19 years old again and I’m asking homeless people outside the 7-11 to buy me a bottle of Wild Turkey. Good times, good times.