little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

the ungayest gay whose ever gayed

Here are a list of reasons why you should NOT vote for me for best gay blogger for the 2006 Bloggies. I would create a PowerPoint presentation, if I could. I work for a major corporation, don’t think that it didn’t cross my mind.

• Because I won this award three times already. Three frickin’ times, over the past four years. One year as a consolation prize because Wesley Crusher from Star Trek isn’t a homosexual.

• Here’s what happens when you win a Bloggie, LGBT divison: if you’re fortunate enough, you get to attend the South By Southwest Festival in Austin, where you’re asked to participate in the Bloggies awards ceremony. This usually consists of standing on a stage in front of a giant screen that’s has IRC running, while dozens of IRC trolls make fun of you, literally, behind your back. When you win, there is polite applause (since 95% of all attendees are heterosexual anyway) and you’re given a piece of cardstock that basically says, “Congratulations! You’re the GAYEST BLOGGER EVAR!!1!” (Although I did also receive a rainbow chain necklace and an inverted Burger King cardboard crown one year. That was pretty nice.)

  And it’s all fairly ironic, because while I’m gay, I don’t think of myself as that gay - you can’t really be gay when you have a condo in the suburbs, in the Silicon Valley, no less. What, am I going to bump house music while the Indian neighbors light firecrackers when it’s Divali? They’re scared of me enough. (Actually… that’s not half a bad idea. Hrm.)

• Because there are better blogs that deserve to win. The co-nominies, Towleroad, Queerty and Good As You are solid, but my personal favorite is a Joe. My. God., a blog I’ve been reading for a while and has one of the funniest blog posts EVER in Gay, Gayer, Gayest. I’m all for a good storyteller, and trust me, Joe is definately a good storyteller. Also, his blog is the only other blog that doesn’t contain ads for gay nude resorts or laser hair removal. I’m just saying.

• Andy Towle, the guy at Towleroad, sells t-shirts of his website for $25 and has galleries of Brazillian models wearing them. Therefore, Towleroad wins, hands down. If I made LYD t-shirts, sold them for half the price and begged people to take pictures of themselves wearing them, I would have a who’s who of Slashdot readers, midwestern housewives and a closeted married rice queen from New Hampshire. Maybe a furry or two.

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Temperamental - Everything But The Girl

From the album Temperamental
Artist page on Last.fmListen on Yahoo! Music EngineYME SongBlogger V1.2.1

Damn! I’ve come to think of you as THE gay when I think of the Bay area. =)

Hi.

[relatively] New Blogger Here.

Thanks for this post.

Because of it I decided to take both the [race neutral] weblog awards & the blackweblog awards off of my blogroll.

Until this post I (not so) secretly aspired to one day be able to call myself:

A Winner.

But, I live in Austin.

Been here 12 years.

Seen SXSW in person.

Seen SXSW on The Real World.

Color me jaded.

>>>

[since the rest of the post went invisible after the arrows, I’m reposting the ending]

—

Congrats on your prior wins.

I expect that they were deservED
(- emphasis on the -ED)

Yours is now the first “punctuated.”
blog to be added to my roll

[welcome]

Thanks for the nod Ernie!

But you wore it so well.

You did wear it well. Look at you glow!

I would totally get a LYD t-shirt. And last I checked I was neither a suburban housewife or a closeted rice queen.

You win just because of this post.

Hehe, such humility is very becoming. You and Joe both deserve to win. But I voted for him simply to spread the wealth (by wealth, I mean a Bette Davis DVD collection).

For the record, I did nominate you for the Lifetime Achievement award.

We all know that Ernie wrote this because of the guilt he’s feeling. The truth is that Ernie is STRAIGHT, he knows he CAN’T COMPETE WITH SUPER-BADASS WILL WHEATON, and he has been PRETENDING TO BE GAY JUST SO HE CAN WIN A BLOGGIE.

For shame, Ernie, for shame.

I discovered your blog through Joe.My. God and I love it! Joe,I have a love/hate thing for, but maybe because I live in such an Asian city ( Vancouver ) and have so many Asian friends, your stories make me laugh. Out loud, and that’s hard to do.

Well, thank Bloggies for one thing: lots of people (like me) who haven’t found your blog yet, will do now. And some may vote for you anyway, just for, you know, sadistic reasons.

Ernie, don’t you try to fend off the votes every year?

When is a book coming out? I have time to work it out in InDesign if you have time to drop me a link to past blogs.

Ooops Sorry Ernie - now you put it like that I can see why you don’t want to win it. Trouble is I have already voted for you!!

Scratch that…found the archives.

Walter, what’s InDesign?

I searched for ‘different’ (running a spell check — I got it right!) and this was first on the list.

Love the blog title (I’m thinking maybe _not_ a reference to Waynes World, but that’s what made me chuckle anyway. Don’t think we have Nuprin here in Ireland).

Great post too. Funny stuff

“Walter, what’s InDesign?”

Ernie, you have shamed me and the graphic design community at large. It is almost like me not knowing… well… whatever program it is that you use to do whatever it is that you do at your job every day.

(Note: Adobe Indesign is a very good layout program; and Walter is volunteering to design your book free of charge, using old archives on this site. Which probably means Walter REALLY wants to get in your pants, or to get written about on your weblog… or both… possibly at the same time.)

This post was reason enough for you to win again.

i don’t think you will end up reading this but Hahaha i remember seeing your blog when i was wayyyyyyyy young…
hahaha i knew it was developed by an asian guy but I didn’t know you were gay!
i guess we share two things in common
it’s good to see your blog still going strong!
good luck on the bloggies!

I find your blog having interesting content and comments. Wish you goodluck for future.

hi. been reading ur blog for a few weeks now. i really find your writing honest and funny and it keeps me entertained while im sulking at work wishing for the ground to eat me up. anyway, i find it really cool also that you have filipino friends (because i am one). il link you up and will definitely read on. good luck!

Funny !

Walter is straight, unemployed, homeless, and living out of a box in Berlin.

By box I mean couch surfing a friend’s flat while living away from San Francisco.

“you know how I know youre gay?”
“how?”
“you’ve won the best gay blogger for three years!”

..

uh I blame the influence of the 40 years old virgin

coming late to the party, and i apologize for trying to make this more serious…

but this post does bring up a good point: are you a “gay blogger” just because you’re gay and you write about it on occasion? or are you just a blogger who happens to be gay? (sorry… blogging about some similar topics now at blackfeminism.org.. hee hee.)

Ernie, maybe you should go all Oprah and tell the bloggies that you are opting out of the competition so you can let someone else win.

And then maybe Oprah will bring you on her show! Well if not Oprah, maybe at least Ellen.

Ernie, we can’t help it if you are just our favorite. That Joe guy’s pretty good. But you are our favorite.

What do dorky, ex-band nerds talk on their blog? Let’s look back at Trent’s blog from 2004:

http://trent.blogspot.com/2004_11_13_trent_archive.html

What do dorky, ex-band nerds talk about when they want a blog that attracts an audince, advertising dollars and gets the attention of movie studios and celebs:

http://trent.blogspot.com/2005_12_28_trent_archive.html

Boy, it didn’t take Trent to long to figure out the formula: Mix one part Paris Hitlon, 2 parts Perez Hilton, 1 part Defamer, shake until regurgitated and serve over pink ice–to attract the 16 year old girls.

To have a successful blog, I repeat, do not talk about yourself on your blog–talk about other, much cooler people.
It’s called transference. Connect yourself to a cool person and people think you’re cool! But still call it a blog (online diary) so you can still get away with posting copyrighted images without getting in trouble.

Ahhhhh, it’s true what they say, Trent is brilliant!

Just wanted to leave my mark here. lol

I came across your site from Margaret Cho’s blog.
Keep blogging.

Take care.

fantastic blog.