little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

the vma’s AKA the other blind black guy

(The scene: Mike, Ryan and I are watching the great bus accident known as the MTV Video Music Awards. Alicia Keys is about to perform with a “surprise special guest.”)

Mike: Maybe it’s Lauryn Hill.
Ernie: I bet you it’s going to be Stevie Wonder.
Ryan: Isn’t he dead?
Ernie: … uhm, aren’t you thinking Ray Charles?
Ryan: Yeah. Didn’t he die too?
Mike: …
Ernie: I think there’s a rule that only one blind black guy can die at a time.

(The spotlight shifts to the secret guest artist.)

Mike: Hey, you were right - it’s Stevie Wonder.
Ryan: So he’s not dead after all.

First post!

yeah… I’m sure they’ll run out of blind guys sooner or later…

ray charles was the man when he did Pepsi commercials. If i was a coke i’d try to get all over Stevie.

a coke = Coca Cola. Damn me.

Stevie is only dead as creative artist anymore.

sweetie, it’s Keys, not keyes. Sorry thought you heard me correctly when I told you. Oh well, love u still, hehe.

Speaking of bus accidents, did you see the train wrecks that occur whenever any rap group (read more than one rapper at a time) take the stage? Ouch. Lil Jon needs to stick to saying WHAT! OKAY! ’cause that’s all he’s any good at. When that huge group of people did that ’shake it like a salt shaker’ song it sounded like a dog fight and the dogs had throat disorders. The 15 rappers all barking over each other AND over the backing track sounded like total ass.

Damnit rappers, loose the backing tracks. You don’t even dance so why use them? Oh, I’m sorry… LEAN BACK! LEAN BACK! LEAN BACK!

[/rant]

WHAT!

Speaking of blind African Americans/bus accidents, what was Beyonce’s mom thinking when she designed that dress for her poor daughter?

“Cleavage, I’d like you to meet Wedgie.”

funniest. comment. ever!

WHAT!

At school last year there was a poster with a black man saying, “I’d rather drive myself than let a drunk drive.” I never really understood it, and one day I told a friend, “I don’t get it. Wouldn’t ANYONE rather drive themselves than let a drunk drive?” Then they told me that the black man was Stevie Wonder.

…Then they had to tell me he was blind.

Then I got it.