things i’m indebted to watch because i’m gay: logo
Logo is a cable television channel that exclusively shows gay and lesbian content. Like anything else directed to my demographic, I’ll occasionally check out the program listings to see if there’s anything interesting on the channel. More often than not though, I find myself skipping Logo and do what I usually do; make fun of G4TV or watch shows on the Food Network as if they were soft-core pornography.
Here are my comments about various shows on the network:
- First Comes Love: Hey, tired of watching Wedding programs on TLC full of those weird, heterosexual people? Thankfully, we have First Comes Love, the GAY wedding planner show starring “that gay guy from Kids In The Hall.”
Here is an ACTUAL clip from an episode that I watched; it’s paraphrased, but it nails the point:
Partner #1: I want drag queens at our wedding. Lots and lots of drag queens.
Partner #2: But the last thing I want to be is circus-like.
Ernie: (looks directly at the camera) Not going there. Too easy.If anything positive were to come out of this show, it’s important to note that one of the wedding designers is a man of presumably Filipino heritage named Eric Aragon. I welcome this, because it brings the “Gay Asians on Televsion” count up to four, including Bobby Trendy, M. Butterfly and, of course, Sulu.
Not that I’m bitter about that.
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Wonderfalls: I see this show on Logo all the time, which is funny because I think I saw an episode of this show on FOX; it’s about some girl who works in a Niagra Falls gift shop and she imagines her gift shop items talking to her for one reason or another. Apparently the show wasn’t too bad, just doomed to failure like other good FOX sitcoms like Arrested Development or Andy Richter Controls the Universe.
But, uhm, why is this on the gay channel? Seriously, did I miss a major plot point where she comes out as a Lesbian? Do the talking items in the shop start going gay?
Key chain: So I hear the gumball machine hooked up with the snowglobe at Mickey’s last night.
Greeting card: That whore? Fucking that is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway…
Gumball machine full of M&Ms: … excuse you? Bitch, you don’t know me.
Joan, the lead character: OH MY GOD, SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU. WHY WON’T YOU INANIMATE OBJECTS STOP TALKING!?Update: Okay, after some research, the talking objects were inanimate animals and not gumball machines. Because that makes SUCH a difference.
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Noah’s arc: The premise is interesting, and yes, groundbreaking, although from a purely marketting and business point of view would have some trouble standing out from other shows by its name alone.
Co-worker #1: I watched Noah’s Arc last night.
Co-worker #2: Oh, really? What is it about?
Co-worker #1: Well.. hmmm… how do I put this delicately?Let’s contrast this to what I think would be a name that would generate more interest in the televsion program:
Co-worker #1: I watched Black Gay Soap Opera last night.
Co-worker #2: Oh, really? What is it about?
Co-worker #1: (Co-worker #1 pauses, then punches co-worker #2 in the face)See? Everyone wins!

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