little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

things i’m indebted to watch because i’m gay: logo

Logo is a cable television channel that exclusively shows gay and lesbian content. Like anything else directed to my demographic, I’ll occasionally check out the program listings to see if there’s anything interesting on the channel. More often than not though, I find myself skipping Logo and do what I usually do; make fun of G4TV or watch shows on the Food Network as if they were soft-core pornography.

Here are my comments about various shows on the network:

• First Comes Love: Hey, tired of watching Wedding programs on TLC full of those weird, heterosexual people? Thankfully, we have First Comes Love, the GAY wedding planner show starring “that gay guy from Kids In The Hall.”

  Here is an ACTUAL clip from an episode that I watched; it’s paraphrased, but it nails the point:

  Partner #1: I want drag queens at our wedding. Lots and lots of drag queens.
  Partner #2: But the last thing I want to be is circus-like.
  Ernie: (looks directly at the camera) Not going there. Too easy.

  If anything positive were to come out of this show, it’s important to note that one of the wedding designers is a man of presumably Filipino heritage named Eric Aragon. I welcome this, because it brings the “Gay Asians on Televsion” count up to four, including Bobby Trendy, M. Butterfly and, of course, Sulu.

  Not that I’m bitter about that.

• Wonderfalls: I see this show on Logo all the time, which is funny because I think I saw an episode of this show on FOX; it’s about some girl who works in a Niagra Falls gift shop and she imagines her gift shop items talking to her for one reason or another. Apparently the show wasn’t too bad, just doomed to failure like other good FOX sitcoms like Arrested Development or Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

  But, uhm, why is this on the gay channel? Seriously, did I miss a major plot point where she comes out as a Lesbian? Do the talking items in the shop start going gay?

  Key chain: So I hear the gumball machine hooked up with the snowglobe at Mickey’s last night.
  Greeting card: That whore? Fucking that is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway…
  Gumball machine full of M&Ms: … excuse you? Bitch, you don’t know me.
  Joan, the lead character: OH MY GOD, SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU. WHY WON’T YOU INANIMATE OBJECTS STOP TALKING!?

  Update: Okay, after some research, the talking objects were inanimate animals and not gumball machines. Because that makes SUCH a difference.

• Noah’s arc: The premise is interesting, and yes, groundbreaking, although from a purely marketting and business point of view would have some trouble standing out from other shows by its name alone.

  Co-worker #1: I watched Noah’s Arc last night.
  Co-worker #2: Oh, really? What is it about?
  Co-worker #1: Well.. hmmm… how do I put this delicately?

  Let’s contrast this to what I think would be a name that would generate more interest in the televsion program:

  Co-worker #1: I watched Black Gay Soap Opera last night.
  Co-worker #2: Oh, really? What is it about?
  Co-worker #1: (Co-worker #1 pauses, then punches co-worker #2 in the face)

  See? Everyone wins!

The sister in Wonderfalls is a lesbian. A minor subplot in two or three of the episodes.

Regarding ‘Noah’s Arc’: sounds better than it looks, and it looks better than it sounds. The acting is so forced you can almost hear the director off-camera shouting, “Act, damn you! ACT!” while he cracks his riding whip.

Sadly, soap operas are like turds… they come from lots of different places, but they all end up in the same cesspool:

- Drug addiction
- Alcohol addiction
- Affairs
- Lost love
- STDs
- Dumped boyfriend hooks up with best friend
- Suicide (although this is optional, depending on ratings)
- The Funny Episode, where nothing serious happens

Ah well. The cynic in me is tired of the same old crap, but the homo in me likes the look of those men.

Eric in Seattle

Valentin (who *hates* Noah’s Arc) suggests that a better name for it would be GIRL, WATCH THIS.

Hell, I’d watch it if it was called that.

What about Alec Mapa? BD Wong? They’re Gaysians on screen. Aren’t they?

What about Alec Mapa? BD Wong? They’re Gaysians on screen. Aren’t they?

I watched a few episodes of the gay wedding show on Logo, but lost interest when I realized that the wedding planners were more interested in their own ideas than in what the couple itself wanted. In one show, one of the brides was adamant that the wedding not be in a church; their wedding ended up in an old church. In another, the (non-Scottish) guys wanted something traditional; they ended up in kilts with half-naked Scottish dancers.

Actually, I liked Noah’s Arc. Whether I would enjoy it for more than the 2 episodes we saw before my lesbian host got tired of watching is another question (I don’t have a TV, let alone cable, so I’ll probably never find out). She objected to the characters being so femme (and then to femme guys being muscular and having facial hair), but it didn’t bother me.

I actually watch Logo once in a while for all the gay movies that I’ve always wanted to watch but never wanted to go rent.

Can’t say I’ve watched Noah’s Ark yet. I tivo’ed it, but just haven’t gotten around to watch it.

re: wonderfalls: main character’s sister is gay. only know this because friend actually worked on show.

Back when I received Logo for free (ie. before it became a Premium subscription thing), I actually liked First Comes Love. Primarily because of Scott Thompson, admittedly. But also because it gave me some insight into how folks in Canada deal with the issue (yes it’s a Canadian show). One of the more interesting aspects of it is how they deal with telling/inviting their families, how they deal with the religious aspect of it, etc. There was one episode where one of the men clearly wanted a Catholic ceremony (he’s kept his Catholic roots despite being gay), and the other guy just didn’t want it. It was fascinating, in a Reality TV fishbowl sort of way.

However, I’ll agree that the wedding planners are really bad — they hardly EVER do what the couple wants. Which I guess adds to the drama, but it turned me off too.

Yeah, Ernie! What about Alex Mapa?

If you think it sucks to be a double minority with very little media representation, just think of how much better it could be if you were a double minority with lots of crappy representation.

I’m just sayin’.

Alex=Alec. Like in Baldwin (eww).

Noah’s Arc looks like it was written by straight white people who are basing their writing on every single stereotype they’ve ever heard. Too bad; it’s a good idea for a show.

Oh, and yeah, BD Wong!

I don’t think we get Logo, so I will have to get updates from you.

I’m scared.

I accidently watched Showgirls on LOGO the other day.

I’ve read with pleasure. Maybe it’s offtopic, but i just wanted to say, that it’s really interesting to read everything this with comments… You discuss here a lot of interesting things on different useful themes. Thanks for that!

I am glad Logo is available. However, I think it’s just gay-lite. I subscribe to the Q Television Network and I must say I love their original programming. It’s so much edgier and better than Logo and Here. Hopefully, Q is available in your area.

“Girl, Watch This!” made me laugh (as did the post itself).