little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

things that scared me as a child

As a child, clowns, mimes and Santa Claus scared the crap out of me. But it’s common knowledge that every child hates those things, so they’re not even worth mentioning. There are, however, a couple of things as a child of the 80’s that freaked me out, even though they probably shouldn’t have. In no particular order:

1. When I was 8 or 9, I somehow found a book on the Jonestown massacre in the library. It contained photographs.

   Okay, I give myself permission to be freaked out by that. Let’s visit some other things that don’t reveal my fragile psyche, shall we?

2. You know how when you finish watching a television show? After the credits stop rolling, they show these three second clips for the production company that has some graphic and a little sound blurb that was twice as loud as the show itself? Bumpers, I think they’re called. That shit scared me. Like, the cat from MTM Productions after the Bob Newhart show and how it would say “meow” in the old man’s voice? *shiver*

3. Various “bad guys” from 80’s game shows: The Devil from that stupid slot machine game show, The Dragon from “Tic-Tac-Dough,” The Whammy from “Press Your Luck.” No lie, when someone got a whammy, I would run behind the couch and hide.

4. Remember the intro to “Reading Rainbow?” For those of you not from the United States: basically, a woman would sing the lyrics “butterfly in the sky / I can fly twice as high / take a look / it’s in a book / reading rainbow.” All the while, an animated butterfly would transform real-life children reading books into horribly drawn animated images of wizards, mermaids and astronauts.

   I didn’t want to be a badly drawn astronaut. It would be cold and lonely and my my spacesuit could crack and I would run out of oxygen and implode. And my face would be drawn all wrong. All because a fucked up multi-colored animated butterfly caught me with an open book.

   As a result, I didn’t open a book for seven years.

Me? Issues? I don’t have issues.

When I was a kid, I was deathly afraid of Howdy Doody, the old 50s puppet dressed up in Western Gear.

Oh, and Gannon from Zelda 2 scared the poop outta me, too.

The dragon, okay. That scared me too. But the whammies? Dude, there was a Boy George whammy, how could you be scared of him? Don’t answer that.

This is asking for it, but am I the only one that was scared of skeletor in the he-man movie?

Ah! I was scared of the Whammy too! Big money, big money, big money, no Whammy…stop!

I now understand your wild-eyed stare when we suggested buying the girls a souvenir book. Books are bad for ern

any tense scene in movies or tv would make me run in circles behind the couch when I was young. cagney & lacey and hunter were some of mom’s favorites, it got to the point where i’d almost be running laps every time the bad guy came in to kill the innocent blonde chick.

in space, no one can hear you explode! Mwahahaha!!! I had this Baby Kermit the Frog when I was 8. It sat on a shelf in my room. I was a “Big Boy”, and didn’t need a night light, so you can imagine my suprise when I heard laughter in my room…

I look up, and on my shelf is Kermie, laughing at me, with glowing green eyes!

Yeah, the next morning we threw him out.

It was probably just a dream… or WAS IT!!!

Nothing was more terrifying than watching the Yodeler of Cliffhanger on “The Price is Right” fall over the edge.

heh. now that i think of it, the 80s were a time of overwhelming creepiness for me too.

personally, however, sleestacks still scare the shit out of me.

OHMYGOD, the YODELLER FROM CLIFFHANGER! *That* was some fucked up shit.

OMG Jonestown massacre happened a day after i was born. Nov17th… Scorpios rule.

Jaws scared the livin bejesus outta me! I had to always be ready to leap out of my pool or poke it with the skimmer if I couldnt get out.

I always thought the woman’s voice on Reading Rainbow was so awful.. so strident and it feels like she’s just barely making it. Probably someone’s aunt or something. I -hate to hear it to this day when my son watches it…

“I Like Big Butts” in Latin scares the crap out of me. Now I’m afraid of your mini-blog.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Someone already beat me to the sleestack comment. Actually the whole show of Land of the Lost freaked the hell out of me. I guess being stuck with your family in a jungle is the teenage nightmare, isn’t it? Especially when the only person you can date that is not related to you is a neaderthal.

ET, man. ET was my nightmare for many years. The little blob still gets to me.

I was scared of David Bowie. First I saw Labyrinth and it scared the crap out of me for some reason I now cannot fathom. Then for over a year whenever I was scared of the dark, scared something was going to come out of the toilet, etc. etc. etc., it was all about David Bowie. And if I saw him on MTV or something, even without the big spiky hair, super pointy eyebrows and creepy crotch bulge he had in the movie, I would get just as creeped out, even if it was just the Let’s Dance video or something.

In retrospect I think maybe it was the crotch bulge that scared me the most after all…like Bowie was the embodiment of all my taboo desires/the demands of adulthood and sexuality.

Oh, and I was scared of the kitten with a person voice too.

Also, I had one of those Return of the Jedi glasses that you get at Pizza Hut or whatever, and when I drank out of it I would always be sure not to put my finger anywhere near the Emperor because I thought he would bite it.

1) Jiggles, when I first read your post, I was outraged. I was like, “JEWS! Why would anyone be afraid of JEWS!” Then I realized that I needed glasses.

2) If anything, the intro to Reading Rainbow has gotten worse over the years. Somebody needs to fucking increase their pledge.

3) When I was a kid, I was afraid of Slap Bracelets, because some moron on the playground hit my arm so hard with one it left welts.

Man, I gotta agree with Kungfukitten; the little girl from Land of the Lost scared me, as well as those neanderthal and lizard-humanoid things.

The devil from that slot machine show frightened the bejeebus outta me too, as well as Roddy McDowell’s performance as Satan on Fantasy Island.

FLYING MONKEYS!!!!

… And your little dog, too!

During the credits of the original Star Trek, scenes from other episodes were shown. One scene was a close-up of a green big-headed alien with crazy wide eyes that freaked me out. Until I saw the episode, and found out it was a fake alien head meant to freak people out.

Additional freaky alien themed shows:

TV movie “V”–when repilian aliens open wide and swallow giant rats in one gulp.

Any episode of “Project Blue Book”.

Also, my parents thought it would be a great idea to take their 5-year-old to see “Jaws”. I was so impressed by Spielberg’s epic sea adventure that I pissed my Toughskins®.

Ooo! And Superman 3; where that evil lab lady is sucked into the machine and it covers her with computer chips! Man– I must have been afraid to go near a computer for a week afterward…

There was an Apple IIe game called Death In The Caribbean that I’d play religiously. There was a ghost of Robin Hood that would visit at random times. EVERYTIME he showed up I freaked, and turned off the computer.

Yea - Ernie - the MTM cat is waaay freaky. The cat says “Meow” in a deep scary whiteman voice. That and UBU. Sit UBU sit…. He never moved.

Now that I think about it… the Baniff Bumper after South Park? “BANIFF! BELIEVE IT!!!” THAT was what I was talking about about the volume being twice as loud as the actual program. The bumper doesn’t freak me out persay, but it makes me feel very, very uncomfortable.

not 80’s, but….. Edward Scissorhands. SCARY.

I was afraid of the credits to PBS’ “Mystery” and of the closet in Muppet Babies. Or really everything about Muppet Babies. And the two-headed trolly thing in Willow.

The Three Stooges were very frightening to me as a kid. Those guys slapping and poking each other in the eyes was enough to send me crying to my bedroom….

Believe it or not, when I was little, I’d stay up and watch the Alfred Hitcock show. The show itself never bothered or scared me a bit… but that intro… the shadow of a really-pointed nose man, the music.. *shiver* THAT scared me. It’s almost surprising to know that and know that I married my jewish husband (though I try not to look at the shadow of his nose)

I agree with the following:
1.) The Reptilians from V
2.) The Bob Newhart Show (that just scared me in general because of their Halloween episode one year. A witch was supposed to be buried in the basement! *gah*)
3.) The robotic chick from Superman 3

I propose the following:
1.) Dogboy from Liquid Television
2.) The Letter People
3.) Mr. Boogedy (an old Disney movie about a cursed cape … I think …)

Adding to the list:

I remember a bit from Sesame Street that involved Grover sitting in a field surrounded by butterflies. One landed on his nose. After, I was convinced that all butterflies tried to land on people’s noses, and was subsequently TERRIFIED of butterflies from around the age of 3 to 8. I’m talking running-away-screaming scared. My parents still make fun of me today, even though I feel I was legitimately traumatized

now that you mention it, the dragon in tic-tac-dough scared the crap out of me too. but then again, i got scared whenever someone had a strike on family feud. i was a chickenshit when i was a kid. but the character that actually infiltrated my nightmares was lo-pan from “big trouble in little china” with kurt russell and kim catrall. i’d dream of the beam of light emanating from his mouth.

When I was about 7 years old, there was a remake of “The Elephant Man”, starring John Hurt (or was it Heard?) Anyways, I digress. I watched that show on the ‘ABC Sunday Night Movie’ mostly peeking through my sweaty hands covering my eyes. (As if that would protect me!) Of course, this was on at about 8:00 at night, right before I went to bed. I don’t know why I was so compelled to watch this show at age 7, and have no idea why my grandparents allowed me to do so (it was the ’80’s, why not?!)…anyways it was about 30 minutes or so after I was in bed freaking myself out, conjuring up scary thoughts and imagining that John Merrick was under my bed or outside my window, when I actually heard a ‘rat-tat-tat’ against my bedroom window. I BOLTED out my bedroom and ran into the living room (I think I could hear the sound that accompanies Scooby-Doo and Shaggy when they run away, legs circling in an attempt to run away fast)and explained to my grandparents that the Elephant Man was banging on my window. Attempting to reassure me, they helped me back in my room, and while ‘calming’ me down, heard the same ‘rat-a-tat-tat’ against my window. Convinced that John Merrick was definitely outside my window, I again took off at warp speed out of my room. My grandfather went outside, flashlight in hand, to investigate. Because I lived with my grandparents in an apartment complex, some doofus looking for his girlfriend’s apartment mistook my bedroom window for hers. What bad timing! My grandfather wasn’t too happy with this clown, but I was thoroughly relieved to know that it wasn’t the Elephant Man outside my window, just some poor sap looking for his so-called girlfriend.
I feel bad about this, though. If it wasn’t bad enough that John Merrick was ridiculed in his own time because of his looks, an ABC Sunday night movie about him freaked out me at the age of 7 how many years later. What can I say…I’m only human.

i didn’t sleep with the light off for a week after watching “dawn of the dead.” even less rational is my fear of being hit by invisible cars.

dude. e.t. totally made me crap in my pants.

Dammit. Now I have the “Reading Rainbow” theme song stuck in my head here at work.

Oh - My - God >:-o and here I’d finally forgotten about that awful Disney film called “The Shaggy Dog”… !!! That cute guy slowly going all ‘werewolfey’ and turning into an English sheepdog terrified me well into my adult life !!!

I will now have to sleep with a light on tonight for fear of:

1) Mr. Boogedy (boogedy boogedy BOO!) in his creepy pilgrim costume

2) The Shaggy Dog (VERY Scary)

3) I am also afraid to this day to look out of my window at night for fear of the Children of the Corn surrounding my house and just staring at me from outside my window.

4) There was also a Magical World of Disney tv movie called the Child of Glass that gave me nightmares for MONTHS!

great work ernie. just when i thought i could get rid of my nightlight!

Roddy McDowall as the devil on Fantasy Island. No wonder it took me so long to come out of the closet.

I was very scared of some of those “Amazing Stories” on NBC. Except for the one where the aliens came down to earth because they’d been watching “I Love Lucy” and were star searching. That one was creepy, but the aliens were harmless and dressed like tourists.

The alien on the cover of Whitley Strieber’s book “Communion”. I always seemed to run across that in bookstores and libraries as a little kid, and it always scared the crap outta me. Still does, in a way…

Worst. poll. ever.

Wow, now I really am glad I grew up without a TV.

Every child has a different set of fears. When I was young, I was mostly scared of water, heights and most of all, nighttime. Imagine how I used to cower under the covers in my room each time the evening fell. My little nephew now has the strangest fears which I have ever encountered. He is scared of amusement park rides and crowded places…

It’s all perfectly normal So not to worry!

Medusa(sp?) from disney’s The Rescuers. I kept begging my mom (then my brother, then my sister) to take me to see it… each time, they’d have to take me home screaming because she scared me so much. 3 times. I’m now 29 and I still haven’t seen the whole thing.

Vincent

humming the theme to reading rainbow

Once on Sesame Street there was this little sort of comedy sketch kind of thing where Grover was selling toothbrushes door to door, and he kept trying to get Kermit the Frog to buy one. Kermit kept protesting that he didn’t have teeth (which I had never noticed, but weren’t Miss Piggy, Fozzy, et al pretty much toothless too?). Finally he got so frustrated with Grover that he went into the other room and came out with teeth (were they fake? did they grow? search me) and boy, did he look creepy. Whenever that bit would come on TV I would run out of the room screaming.

Oh, two Smurfs episodes TOTALLY freaked me out. One had a weird blue fly that bit everyone and made them zombies or something…the other had this magical needle that had eyes and talked, except it just said “Needle Needle Needle!” in a creepy little voice. At one point it sewed one of the Smurf’s mouths shut. Scary!

1) The evil tree in Poltergeist (ok the clown goes without saying) I would not go through our backyard in the dark at anything less than top speed until adulthood.

2)The humans in animal costumes at Disneyland, Mom and Dad have pics of me slugging Pluto for even daring to come near me. (so of course Plushies freak me out now)

3) Santa at the mall- why does this fat man in red want me on his lap?? Why is he everywhere following me mommy?

4) The intro/ending to “Mystery” on PBS had me frozen stiff on the couch (because then the evil could not see me), as did Tales from the Dark Side (stay in the light!).

5) My dolls (anything with eyes and a mouth) had me as their bitch when I was a girl. I would cover them with blankets during cold weather- not because I liked them- but because I feared they would kill me if I did not cater to their every whim.

–needless to say I am at times still a timid adult…and I own no dolls.

it took me years to get over being terrified of the car wash. and, of course, my mother kept going, and taking me. geez, no wonder I’m so fucked up all these many years later…

Hrm… interesting factoid about your kitten o’ terror… they filmed all day to get one meowing and none of them would, so they finally used film of one yawning, played in reverse.
As a child, I was terrified of an old stovepipe that protruded from the wall into my room, until my father painted a smiley-face on the end of it. Also, the scene in Alice in Wonderland (yes the animated Disney version) where the Red Queen sics the cards on Alice… I had to leave the room.

Ok, ok– I got the clincher here, I’m sure:

The Oompa Loompa’s from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I mean, who *wasn’t* afraid that they were gonna sneak into your bedroom in the middle of the night, stick a wad of blueberry chewing gum into your mouth and roll you away?! Yeah. Dude. *Nightmares*.

You hit the nail on the head, Jonathan. What was it with that movie and all the children meeting their doom?
I couldn’t watch when the plump boy got sucked up the chocolate river tube, or when the selfish girl falls through the golden egg scale and gets dumped into oblivion. Charlie and the dude almost get pureed in the ceiling fan…ect…man…that whole movie sucked.
*shiver*

my older brothers told me my cabbage patch kid dolls came to life at night. i was convinced they would try to kill me.
i think i still am.

when I was little - I made the mistake of watching kingdom of the spiders…..it was bad enough that Shatner had to sing in it. The scene that still haunts me was when he was climbing up the stairs of his house - a building already taken over by billions and billions of spiders. Plus those spiders were also crawling all over this man, as he was climbing up the stairs.

I could not sleep that night. For the next few months, I sleeped in a tight tight fetus position - trying to avoid any spiders that would go under my covers and crawl up my legs….

i think i love you.

Wow, from the Jonestown massacre to a Whammy.
That’s a wide spectrum, brutha!

I didn’t want to touch the bug pictures in Ranger Rick magazine because I thought they would bite me.

Aliens, especially ones that dropped from the ceiling like in the movie.

The night on Bald Mountain scene in Fantasia.

Chuckie. And staring-eyed dolls in general. Especially in the dark when staying at someone else’s house.

Pumpkinhead in Halloween. The scene with the drill still haunts me, and I covered my eyes for it!

One really whacked out short story that involved some sort of giant zombie moth trying to get at a little boy who’d pinned a weird moth to his wall — the stain under it kept getting larger and more creepy as the thudding of the moth on his window got louder every night… BRR!

What a bunch of disturbing things to have floating around in my brain!

I was born in ‘63, so mine reflect that time:

1.Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Were Made for Walking.” The line “One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you” scared the heck out of me.

2. Phyllis Diller. My older sister taped a picture of her above my bed (I was four or five and couldn’t reach it to get it down). I was sure she was going to get me during the night.

3. Penelope, my older sister’s pink stuffed dog, who was going to kill Tiger, my stuffed cat, during the night.

4. Barnabus Collins, from “Dark Shadows.”

My very conscientious parents allowed me, as a young child, to watch the 11 pm reruns of the Hitchcock show, but I freaked out the second time I watched Birds.
And the way my dog would watch my food.

Most episodes of the old Star Trek had something scary in them. But my big obsession was vampires.

I can’t even begin to compete with your amazing list, LYD-guy.

Him from the Powerpuff Girls scares the crap out of me now and I’m 21.

Bowie’s bulge rocks by the way.

For me, it was the new zoo review — every creepy costumed character and the weird humans. Plus the threatening way their theme song ended with the words “coming right at you.” I guess they’re still around doing their creepy song and dance http://www.newzoorevue.com

What did it for me Way Back When™ was the sound of a monster appearing in the computer game Temple of Apshai. Puttering along in the dungeon when… SUDDENLY… FREEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWdiddleiddleiddleiddleWOMP!

Ok, not the 80’s, but Nickelodeon had this cartoon short called Insideout Boy.

*shudder* you could see his heart beating and things where slimy and gooey looking and…just not right!

Marjorie the Trash Heap and The Gorgs from Fraggle Rock. They always creeped me out. Oh and Travelling Matt bothered me. A fuzzy puppet thing in liveaction worldly stuff. It just wasnt natural.

I always hated that scene in the “Wizard of Oz” with the flying evil monkeys. I would always conveniently leave the room when it came on

Things that scared me in the 70’s-80’s:
1.OOMPA LOOMPAS
2.Bigfoot, in the Legend of Boggy creek
3.Bigfoot when he appeared in the 6 million dollar man
4.anything resemblnig a cockroache, after seeing “THE BUGS”
5.”The day After” about life after a nuclear war. This was out right about the time of the Falkland Island war between britain and Argentina, and I was convinced it was going to start world war 3, and we were all gonna die. And to think, I was only 12.

Things that scared me in the 70’s-80’s:
1.OOMPA LOOMPAS
2.Bigfoot, in the Legend of Boggy creek
3.Bigfoot when he appeared in the 6 million dollar man
4.anything resemblnig a cockroache, after seeing “THE BUGS”
5.”The day After” about life after a nuclear war. This was out right about the time of the Falkland Island war between britain and Argentina, and I was convinced it was going to start world war 3, and we were all gonna die. And to think, I was only 12.

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the theme to “Unsolved Mysteries”… Mr. Boogedy… robert stack’s voice