A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

Tomorrow, as part of a double date, I am going to see High School Musical: On Ice.

I’m mostly (okay, completely) going for for the company of my friends than anything else, but let’s go over that previous sentence again: I am going to see High School Musical. On motherfucking ice. Seriously, how old am I again? What gender am I?

My first experience watching High School musical was actually when I was in Canada, staying at my friend Ritchie’s house. We trekked to Vancouver’s version of an electronic store and Ritchie bought the award-winning Disney telefilm, along with a copy of Step Up. I bought World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade. While we were waiting in line we confirmed that he was the heterosexual one and I wasn’t, just to make sure. After popping the DVD in, I learned the following tidbits of information:

  • The movie is a “modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet,” except the Montagues are played by dancing 5′7″ basketball players and the Capulets are way too attractive members of the Scholastic Decathalon. As someone who was an active participant in 7th grade Mathletes, I can tell you with a fair amount of confidence that I was never that pretty. Also, NO ONE DIES, THUS MAKING IT NOTHING LIKE ROMEO AND JULIET.
  • I fully realize that if I were still in high school, I would be imagining myself in my cafeteria, belting out songs about sticking to the status quo while 300 of my classmates would sing and dance around me. Mind you, this would be a fantasy high school because if it were my actual high school I would probably sing eight bars before someone would come up and stab me in the jaw. Thank god I’m not watching this ice show as a teenager, because then my dream sequence would somehow integrate a triple sow cow Salchow and to have a mental image with all the singing and dancing and stabbing? That makes even me uncomfortable.

If anything, it makes me realize that I’m getting old. In twenty years, I’ll probably be blogging about Matlock The Musical: On Ice. This concerns me.

§1554 · October 26, 2007 · gay · · [Print]

10 Comments to “This is how I now spend Friday nights”

  1. Jess says:

    Poor Ernie! This sounds so sad… But in that always-humorous way of yours! ;)

  2. ritchie says:

    oh well, i guess owning the dvd isn’t as bad as GOING to the ice show. I don’t feel so bad now.

  3. Lil says:

    I like how in the ads, the ice skaters look super-old even though they’re supposed to be in high school.

  4. Ben says:

    Hey hey.. double date??

  5. tami says:

    Salchow jump – invented by Ulrich Salchow. “Sow cow” conjures up the least attractive image-on-ice, that I can imagine.

  6. cardiogirl says:

    Best line of the post. Ever.

    “I am going to see High School Musical. On motherfucking ice.”

  7. sylvie says:

    thank you tami for correcting that. Salchow, not sow cow.

    I actually know the female lead in the ice tour of high school musical. yes, I realize that actually takes cool points away.

    Dare I ask how it was?

  8. Jonathan says:

    Oh, you think that’s any worse than going on a double date to Disney’s “Finding Nemo: On ICE”?! Maaaan. In any case, I can relate.

  9. Richie says:

    I feel your pain. I wanted to see a show on my birthday and the only thing I could get tickets to see was the national tour of High School Musical. I had never been surrounded by so many misbehaved children since visiting the Neverland Ranch.
    The show was okay.

  10. gaywriter says:

    I can’t believe it’s not “sow cow.” All those years, that’s what I’ve been saying.

    And, when you think of the position the skater is in, it kind of makes sense.

    Damn.

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