XIANG
Tonight: online chatting with Chris, the cousin. (Yeah, the famous one.)
But first, the required wannabe Asian geneology backstory — a good majority of Chinese people have one Chinese character for a last name, and two characters for our first name. besides all being named alphabetically, my cousins and I share the first character of all our names: Shi. I am Shi-Yi, Angela is Shi-An, Chris is Shi-Liang. I had somehow assumed that now that we’ve all become bastard Americans, the tradition just stops.
Oh, how wrong I was.
Chris: My mom just told me that if I ever have kids the Hsiung geneology tradition demands that his/her middle name is Shiang (you know, in Chinese it translates into: “Smells good.” I KID YOU NOT.)
Chris: And guess what? That works for you too. As if I didn’t spend half my life explaining what shi-liang meant.
Ernie: I had NO idea. Obviously dad doesn’t bring THIS shit up with me. Har har har.
Chris: hee hee. yeah, each generation has a specific middle name…that’s why each of us is Shi-this and Shi-that
Ernie: but why SHIANG, for the love of god? Who decided that great chinese character?
Chris: Supposedly, all the names are written on some wall somewhere in JiangXi village.
Chris: …I know.
Ernie: shut the fuck up. So, basically, some wall in china is how i’m supposed to name our kids?
Chris: YUP. One day we should all go find it… and piss on it.
Chris: another fine chapter in the Hsiung history.
Thank god us queers can’t have children. Could you just imagine if I had a son? “Justin Xiang Keith Woolsey-Hsiung.” Poor kid would kill himself.
Footnote: Chris just told me that the Hsiung’s on the web webpage has been updated. Holy christ, we look like a freakshow.
Footnote #2: From Chris himself: “I would greatly appreciate it if you added another footnote so that people know I’m not the Chris Hsiung freak pictured on the website. That guy looks like a sex registrant.”
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