little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

Posted
10 September 2003 @ 11pm

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vh1’s awesomely bad dictators

I’m kinda behind the times, seeing that I don’t have cable. That being said…

When did VH1 stop showing music videos? I mean, MTV stopped showing music videos a long time ago, and I’ve gotten used to it. But the multiple times I’ve come over to the boyfriend’s house, I’ve only seen the following shows:

I swear to God, I have not seen ANYTHING else on VH1. I love reminiscing about the Rubik’s Cube like the next person, but if I see another follow-up involving a pop icon or magazine editor discussing something they know nothing about instead of, say, a Richard Marx video, I will scream.

Next on VH1: Awesomely Bad Dictators!

(Shots of warfare flash on the screen, while Cypress Hill’s “I Can Just Kill A Man” play in the background)

A photo of Idi Amin

Announcer: Idi Amin, former president and chief of forces of Uganda, was known as the “Butcher of Africa” and spread of reign of terror during the 1970’s.
Editor-and-chief of Billboard: Oh yeah. I totally remember Idi Amin.
Debbie Deborah Gibson: Ohmygod, Idi was a totally horrible dictator. Totally.

Keith Richards: mumble mumble UGANDA mumble mumble
Editor-and-chief of Vogue: He had that hat. That hat was SO Idi Amin. Like, I see the hats in Greenwich Village, and I’m like, “I totally need to get that hat,” and then I’m like, “no, I can’t get that hat, because it belonged to a dictator,” you know? So I just buy it off of eBay, where it goes for cheap.
Michelle Branch: …uhm, can we talk about Hitler again? Hitler is an easier dictator to talk about.
Keith Richards: mumble mumble mumble TURKANA MASSACRE mumble mumble MUAMMAR GADDAFI mumble (takes another shot of whiskey, passes out)


24 Comments

Posted by
DK
10 September 2003 @ 11pm

this is why there is now and MTV2, and why it’s NOT included on the basic cable package. Bishes.

first post!


Posted by
Ryan Waddell
11 September 2003 @ 7am

I don’t recall ever seeing videos on VH1. Granted, I only started watching it maybe 2 years ago. I’m hooked on Behind the Music and their “Top 100 x” shows, where x=fun things, with hosts like the unblinking Emilio Estevez. I swear to god he doesn’t blink, it’s creepy.


Posted by
k8
11 September 2003 @ 8am

i miss pop up video. :(
I can’t /wait/ to see the “dictator” show featuring Saddam… hey, they might get him to do a guest appearance or something… hehe.. hehe… uh… *hides head in shame*


Posted by
Roger
11 September 2003 @ 8am

Lets See, on digital cable there is:
MTV2, MTV Hits, MTV Jams, VH1 Classic, VH1 Country, VH1 Mega Hits, & VH1 Soul.

Although the history channel has Hitler locked up on an exclusive deal. I swear they should just change the channel name to “The Nazi Channel” I am waiting for the documentary about “Pets of the Luftwaffe”.


Posted by
heather
11 September 2003 @ 9am

everytime i turn on vh1 they’re always showing “hip hop babylon.” it doesn’t matter what time of day or night, it’s always that show. though i must say i did get hooked on “all access: booty call,” until i realized my booty isn’t all that.


Posted by
nico
11 September 2003 @ 9am

i miss the dean martin videos. that was the _only_ true music video. who is keith richards?


Posted by
Miss Anthropy
11 September 2003 @ 9am

Speaking of Richard Marx, there’s an entire site devoted to that video/murder mystery Hazard!

http://www.nctc.net/~hazard/marx/river.html


Posted by
Paris
11 September 2003 @ 11am

Hey have you noticed how their branding is all MTV like as well… all funky scratchy animation style… all they need is an astronaught and the Aion Fluz licence and they will finally acheive there goal of becoming MTV of ten years ago.

I want my VH1!

P.S. your commentary is getting all intelectual and stuff… what are you, filling your unemployed days with PBS and NPR? :-)


Posted by
Daniel
11 September 2003 @ 12pm

Well Paris, that’s what you get when you are owned by the same company… Viacom. “Hey, MTV did this.. let’s change the pink to purple and call it VH1″ “OK!! Well done, who’s down for lunch?” It’s a sad, sad, world. This is why I just listen to the music on my computer or download the videos I like.


Posted by
Koopa
11 September 2003 @ 12pm

I just watched Pets of the Luftwaffe!

I dont recall the last time i watched a (full) video that i didnt download. Alas when i download videos is normally jpop stuff. I hope my ayumi vides finish downloading before my trip tomorrow.


Posted by
Lauren
11 September 2003 @ 1pm

I like the one guy from ESPN, or is there more than one guy from ESPN on those VH1 shows? anyway, they always make me laugh, and then cringe horribly because not only do I remember all that 80s crap, but I remember everything from 1975 on. grrrr. so when does “I love the 90’s” come out???


Posted by
anil dash's daily links
11 September 2003 @ 2pm


Posted by
Ryan Schroeder
11 September 2003 @ 2pm

VH1 has recently offically become a “not music” station. moving more towards pop culture type stuff. The shift in programming was accompanied with the visual rebranding.


Posted by
Fred
11 September 2003 @ 3pm

Yeah, Branding… *wheezes* I remember when I was just a young whipper snapper, the only branding they’d let you do was with a hot piece of iron! We knew how to brand!

*wheeze, cough, wheeze*

Walked to school in 8 feet of snow BOTH WAYS!!!

(Sorry, I don’t know what happened back there, but I’m fine now…)


Posted by
Stu
11 September 2003 @ 4pm

I miss pop up video as well. Does anyone know if they ever actually released any of those pop-up video style film dvds. I heard ‘The Breakfast Club’ was going to get the treatment ‘Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall also appeared together in John Hughes’ Sixteen Candles’ ‘Emilio Estevez is the brother of Charlie Sheen who appeared in John Hughes’ Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ that sort of thing.

Over here in Great Britain we have ‘VH-1′ and ‘VH-1 Classic’. Both tend to play wall to wall ‘classic’ videos, although ‘VH-1′ tends to theme them, so today we had ‘Greatest Hits of the 90s’ and ‘Greatest Hits of the 00s’. Now and then they have day long documentaries such as ‘Top 100 Men’, ‘Top 100 Women’ or ‘100 Shocking Moments’. They sometimes show films like Grease or Flashdance, and have a logo in the corner of the screen advertising them for a week before (bit distracting).

You might like to know (if your not sick of them) that ‘I Love….’ is a format which was bought from the BBC. Their tie-in sites are here … some have been originated online … but they give a pretty good idea of UK culture … our version of ‘I Love 1977‘ was introduced by Carrie Fisher.

Music tv is quite diverse on Satellite tv over here. It’s roughly split into four sections:

Mtv are still the market leader and run ‘Mtv’, ‘Mtv Hits’, ‘MTV2′ (Rock / Indie), ‘MTV Base’ (Drum &…), ‘MTV Dance’, ‘VH-1′, ‘VH-1 Classic’ and newbee ‘The Music Factory’ (which is basically an Mtv Hits clone created for a terrestrial digital service, Freeview, (see this article which I’m shamelessly including because I wrote it). ‘Mtv’ has an awful lot none music programmes, and ‘The Osbournes’ and ‘Jackass’ seem to be on all of the time.

EMAP used to be a magazine publisher but they branched out into music radio not too long ago and set about buying up a large number of commercial local radio. Now they’ve branched out into TV. Their prototype was ‘The Box’ (chart music) which was so popular they’ve turned some of their radio stations or magazines into stations. So there is Smash Hits! (chart music again), Kerrang! (rock), Q Music (anything and everything, a lot of mixes lately), Kiss (Dance, R&B) and Magic (old chart music). They’re run on a video jukebox model (do you have these in the states?) were you select the video you want via the telephone, then wait two or so hours for it to appear.

Sky tv itself stole the head of Mtv UK to run three music channels the oddly titled ‘Scuzz’, ‘Flaunt’ and ‘The Amp’. To be honest it’s very difficult to tell them apart in genre terms, but their quite distinctive in that they tend to play videos from artists you’ve never heard of for songs that’ll never chart. Utterly bizarre.

There rest are indies. In the non-interactive corner we have Chart Show TV is just like most of the other channels, while it’s sister channel The Vault feels like ‘Mtv’ when Mike was in charge. ‘Classic FM TV’ based on an national commercial station which features music promos for Classical Music. There are a couple of pay channels ‘Channel U’ is mostly R&B and ‘P-Rock’ (you get the idea).

The trouble with so many channels is the playlists are very limited. Yesterday afternoon the same Christina Aguilera video was playing on three different channels simultaneously. The other criticism is that although happy to emblazen them with massive logos, hardly any context is provided. To be disinctive I’d have my channel offering information about the video or artist while it was playing — not pop-up video, more in the style of those DVD text commentaries which are becoming quite common. TV music journalism is mostly dead.

Here is a handy list of all the Channels on UK satellite … scroll down to see the music channels and links to their official websites.


Posted by
Stu
11 September 2003 @ 4pm

Should have checked the grammer in that post really. Got a bit carried away. It is 12:38am in the UK…


Posted by
Clarissa
11 September 2003 @ 7pm

VH1 plays music videos in the morning… like around 6 am. Same as MTV. How do I know.. because I am a dork and watch MTV before going to work. :-P


Posted by
wendell
11 September 2003 @ 9pm

What I want to know is WHO designed VH1’s butt-ugly new logo with the initials on the side of a pseudocube and what looks like a leaf growing out of the V and the 1 backwards??? Looks like something Trading Spaces’ Designer Doug did just to piss somebody off.
By the way, with my digital cable, I have “MTV Hits” and “VH1 Mega Hits” which are all-videos all-the-time, and, frankly, all you’re missing is Jewel and Liz Phair selling out to the Britney crowd with montage videos that look like the prodution designer just couldn’t make up his frigin’ mind. (I’d reccommend the only non-Viacom music channel, formerly known as “MuchMusic”, now “Fuse”, but I can’t reccommend it unless you’re into some ‘hardcore’ rock subgenre, and, besides, with your luck you’d probably always tune in during its non-music show “Kung Faux” which you’ll probably consider not very funny AND racially insulting… I do, and I’m a dumb white guy who laughs at anything)
But digital cable also has “Disney Toons” and “Nick Toons” channels with all the cartoons that competing mega-media companies wouldn’t sell to Cartoon Network (Angry Beavers rule!!!), so I’m a contented TV watcher…


Posted by
rebecca
12 September 2003 @ 2am

with those chubby cheeks and dorky grin - is it me or does that guy bear a striking resemblance to Gary Coleman or what?


Posted by
doc
12 September 2003 @ 8am

keith drinks vodka mixed with sunkist nowadays, ernie. i shit you not; i know this kind of stuff.


Posted by
The Mighty Jimbo
12 September 2003 @ 11am

is it just me or does idi look a lot like gary coleman in that photo?

huh. maybe i better re-think my candidate choice for governor.


Posted by
wednesday white
12 September 2003 @ 5pm

ADV have one anime series release on the market with pop-up notes (ADV Vidnotes-tm), Excel Saga, with more planned. (Speculation is that their forthcoming Azumanga Daioh will have them if the Jp track is to make any sense at all; it sure needs them.)

Every time I put on stupid VH-1 UK, it’s showing “Jenny From the Block.” Every single time. No I Love This Stupid-Ass Era. Just “Jenny From the Block.” WHAT block? No one tells me shit. No one knows who John Ritter is, either. Gah.


Posted by
al
13 September 2003 @ 6am

i think viacom owns BET, too..
but they continue to be extra cheesy..


Posted by
gry java
2 April 2004 @ 2am

verry interesting!!!