little. yellow. different. A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

YAY A CRYSTALINE STORK WHA?!

My friends Jen and Paris reminded me that I forgot my friends baby shower gift at their house. Oops, my bad.

Now, Mogues & Christine, if you read this: I’m totally stoked that you’re having a child, seriously! I’m completely happy for you, and wish all the good health on you guys and the baby. And I don’t need a parting gift, forreals, I’ve known you guys for years and years.

But seriously, what am I supposed to do with this? Is it, like, a coaster? A paperweight? Does this go with the other baby shower figurines I’m supposed to have? Do I put this on my end table where all my gay friends can ooh and aah on the baby I’m not having? I mean, I could use the mirrored base to snort lines of cocaine, if I wanted to. (NOTE TO CO-WORKERS: NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DO THAT.)

Paris also remarked that from far, this photo looks like I’m smoking a crystal doobie.

I’m totally with you on this one, Ernie

I’m thinking you save it until Christmas, at which time you find a really kick ass box with a huge bow — and it goes under the company Christmas Tree as part of the White Elephant gift exchange.

If you really want to jazz it up, add a red bow. It’s called “regifting” and it’s legal per Dear Abby.

Well, all the kids in the Mission District these days are smoking the crystal doobies…you fit right in!

Leave it out for all the gays to gawk at. It makes for a great conversation piece.

Though the possibilities of what to do with it are endless, my top three suggestions are:

1- Turn it into a xmas ornament…all it needs is a string, a hook and you’re done

2- Turn it into a really elaborate Broach or Buttoneer to wear at a wedding and upstage the bride.

3- Put it into a bloomingdales box and give it to your mother.

I’m clueless when it comes to baby shower stuff. That’s one thing that must be missing in the gay genome.

Smash it! With hammer.

[grunt]

Love the photo. That’s a great expression!

I happened upon ur blog and ya’ll r 2 funny! I like #2 of Kareem’s ideas because #1 might catch ur tree on fire and #3 might piss ur mom off!