A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

YAY A CRYSTALINE STORK WHA?!

My friends Jen and Paris reminded me that I forgot my friends baby shower gift at their house. Oops, my bad.

Now, Mogues & Christine, if you read this: I’m totally stoked that you’re having a child, seriously! I’m completely happy for you, and wish all the good health on you guys and the baby. And I don’t need a parting gift, forreals, I’ve known you guys for years and years.

But seriously, what am I supposed to do with this? Is it, like, a coaster? A paperweight? Does this go with the other baby shower figurines I’m supposed to have? Do I put this on my end table where all my gay friends can ooh and aah on the baby I’m not having? I mean, I could use the mirrored base to snort lines of cocaine, if I wanted to. (NOTE TO CO-WORKERS: NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DO THAT.)

Paris also remarked that from far, this photo looks like I’m smoking a crystal doobie.

§1550 · August 10, 2007 · life · · [Print]

9 Comments to “YAY A CRYSTALINE STORK WHA?!”

  1. I’m totally with you on this one, Ernie

  2. Sherri says:

    I’m thinking you save it until Christmas, at which time you find a really kick ass box with a huge bow — and it goes under the company Christmas Tree as part of the White Elephant gift exchange.

    If you really want to jazz it up, add a red bow. It’s called “regifting” and it’s legal per Dear Abby.

  3. Huntington says:

    Well, all the kids in the Mission District these days are smoking the crystal doobies…you fit right in!

  4. stan says:

    Leave it out for all the gays to gawk at. It makes for a great conversation piece.

  5. Kareem says:

    Though the possibilities of what to do with it are endless, my top three suggestions are:

    1- Turn it into a xmas ornament…all it needs is a string, a hook and you’re done

    2- Turn it into a really elaborate Broach or Buttoneer to wear at a wedding and upstage the bride.

    3- Put it into a bloomingdales box and give it to your mother.

  6. Phil says:

    I’m clueless when it comes to baby shower stuff. That’s one thing that must be missing in the gay genome.

  7. Randy says:

    Smash it! With hammer.

    [grunt]

  8. Jess says:

    Love the photo. That’s a great expression! :)

  9. I happened upon ur blog and ya’ll r 2 funny! I like #2 of Kareem’s ideas because #1 might catch ur tree on fire and #3 might piss ur mom off!

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