A weblog by Ernie Hsiung

This is an e-mail snippet from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. She works as a CSI Lab Technician for the Department of Justice.

Our lab has had MANY plumbing problems. We’ve recently had some
expensive repairs done. There are now signs in all the stalls of the
women’s bathrooms that read: “Please dispose all tampons in the
waste container only. Do not flush down the toilet. Flushing down the
toilet will cause blockage in our sewer lines, resulting in $$$ for
repairs.”

When I was read this, I considered how misleading the sentence “Do
not flush down the toilet” is without the word ‘tampon.’ Someone
else wrote in that you have to “dispose of all” rather than simply
“dispose all.” Thus, I have stopped doing forensic science work
and have begun to take down the signs in the bathroom. I’ll work on
the revised sign as soon as I press “Send” because how I can even
begin to solve crime when there are grammatically incorrect signs in the
bathroom?

Aaah, the glamorous life of a CSI. David Coruso, eat your heart out.

§1463 · May 19, 2004 · Uncategorized · · [Print]

16 Comments to “your crime solving tax dollars at work”

  1. Jack says:

    It’s not that big a problem. If a tampon does cause a blockage then the team can always track down the owner of said tampon. Then you can just make them pay for repairs. Voila.

  2. fred says:

    stole the words right from my mouth, jack. it would make a good episode of the television show of the same name… except the network execs would change the tampon to a knife and the toilet to the hudson river, and bam.. ratings.

  3. Donny O says:

    You’ve heard the joke about the panda that walks into a restaurant with a gun, eats shoots and leaves? Get it?! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  4. Jack, that was just plain wrong. But Fred, that’s right.

  5. brando says:

    hahaha, that all just seems so unnecessary.

  6. margaret says:

    haha, i can TOTALLY see david caruso tracking down the user of toilet wrecking tampon, also correcting sign.

  7. Maybe it’s just me…
    But does it annoy anyone else that CBS is coming out with ANOTHER version of CSI… this time in New York?
    I mean, SERIOUSLY! Another spinoff of another spinoff, and just shoot it with a blue filter for cold and dingy new york instead of a yellow filter for bright and sunny miami? And does anyone even WATCH the (original) Vegas version anymore?

    Much like like NBC’s Law and Order franchise… enough is enough.

    Less is More

    Just my 2ยข

    –LAZ

  8. Casey says:

    Jeez, I hope DoJ is handing out hepatitis shots to their janitors…

  9. vj says:

    My upstairs neighbor at one apartment did just that. And it was MY toilet that overflowed.

    No, mr. maintainance man, neither of the guys here flushed the tampon. He doesn’t get laid and I have no use for em.

  10. Alec says:

    What that place needs is a Muffin Monster! In the wastewater industry tampons are nicknamed “muffins” or “white rats.” So install a Monster and flush away…

  11. djQFI says:

    ahh yes, those efficient state employees hard at work. i should know.

  12. mobius says:

    ah, the wonderful world of grammar crime. i can hardly wait for CSI:GC this fall.

    and the upcoming “Law and Order: Bad Punctuation, Unit?” as well.

  13. Lionemom says:

    The original Vegas CSI is awesome! The show is really great! I love William Petersen and the rest of that cast. Whereas I cannot STAND David Caruso. He has one facet of emotional expression – annoyed. He is always annoyed. He is annoyed when he talks about some little girl that was murdered, he is annoyed when he talks about evidence discovery. Blah!

    I am psyched about CSI-New York. I like Gary Sinise an awful lot and if they have good enough stories, I think he will be able to put Miami to shame!

    Just me tho…

    Holy funny about the tampons! The first comment was my very first thought!!!

  14. Sar says:

    “When I was read this”

    Am I the only person who noticed that she said “read” instead of “reading”?

  15. CSI Girl says:

    Wow Sar! Good catch! I knew sending out e-mails about editing wasn’t a good idea. Sigh.

  16. Another thing I must point out is that you cannot prove a vague theory wrong.