My little circle of friends from UC Davis are e-mailing each other what goes on during their mundane work-lives in an attempt to continue the randomness we had during our college years and crave, now that we're a bunch of wannabe yuppies.1

Ya want mundane? Oh, I'll show you mundane.

9:30am: My morning phone call from Mom. She's pretty smart. She knows that I get annoyed if she calls me at work, during meals or at night, so she'll use the wake-up call as a daily check, protruding in my personal life when I'm half asleep at my defenses are down, and she knows I appreciate it because if she didn't call, I'd sleep in until noon. “AAH-NEEE! TIME FOR YOU WAKE UP!” “Okay, Mom.” “I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH YOUR FATHER, CAN I LIVE WITH YOU?” “No, Mom.” “YOU THINK ABOUT, I CALL TOMORROW!” “Okay, Mom. Bye.” *click* If the cordless phone is downstairs and I'm too lazy to answer, she'll then proceed to call my house and my work every hour, on the hour. Mother’s law, I guess.
9:31am-10:15am: Step into the shower, door cracked open while I listen to the TV. Roll my eyes getting dressed as either Marsha Stuart makes the perfect macaroni and cheese recipe or someone on Ricki Lake declares to her boyfriend that she cheated with her best friend. When The View comes on, it's time for me to go to work. And not a moment too damn soon.
10:16am-10:20am: My morning commute. It only takes 4 minutes, depending on whether the traffic lights are red or green when I get to an intersection. Thank the good lord.
10:21am-12:00pm: Surf the websites, check the e-mail. Smoke. Update the two weblogs, listen to some MP3s. Oh yeah, maybe some work in-between.
12:00pm-1:00pm: Lunch. Usually this involves going to Fresh Choice, the local all-you-can-eat salad shop and listening with a mixture of fascination and horror as my co-worker tells me WAY too much information about the relationship between her and her boyfriend. Shannon, if you read this, I beg of you. I really didn't need to know it was possible for the human body to do... you know.
1:05pm-1:20pm: Running to the bathroom, because my body is incapable of handling such an overload of fiber and vitamins and minerals.
1:21pm-1:25pm: Cigarette. Aaah, that's better.
1:26pm-6:25pm: Work. More than in the morning, anyway. Guilt and deadlines can do that to ya. Smoke some more, making a mental note I stress and should really do more work in the morning.
6:25-8:00pm: On Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays, I work out afterwards. Trying not to make eye contact with the creepy naked old man, sitting in the middle of the men's locker room for no particular reason. Smoke another cigarette on the way home.
8:01pm-2:30am: (This is where I shine, folks.) Go home, plug my laptop into my cable. Get some dinner, while I web surf. Turn on my Dreamcast and watch as my Seaman insults me, while I websurf. Update SURVIVORblog and read various weblog entries on how SURVIVORblog is more repulsive than Hitler in a leisure suit dancing the macarena to a polka medley. I pride myself in that.
2:30am-3:00am: And off to bed I go like putting an injured puppy to sleep.
And the cycle repeats. Do I win an award or something?

1

2025 Ernie kinda realizing that 2000 Ernie had no idea what a yuppie was.

Little. Yellow. Different.

A Day in the Life, 24 years ago