I’m 49 years old, and my mother still asks if I’ve eaten lunch yet, like I’m going to forget and accidentally starve myself to death on a Tuesday afternoon.
It's so revealing to realize that, while our parents might be trying to avoid passing down to us their own family trauma, they're (probably subconsciously) using the same trauma-inducing methods to do so. Kudos to you for hanging on, exploring it and dealing with it instead of just putting up a retaining wall like so many of us do.
Despite the challenges and frustrations, it's amazing how you have the insight and intelligence to recognize so much of their behaviors (primarily, your mom's behaviors) for love and caring. Yes, possibly a messed up way of showing love and caring, but it's great that you can see that's what it is.
It's so revealing to realize that, while our parents might be trying to avoid passing down to us their own family trauma, they're (probably subconsciously) using the same trauma-inducing methods to do so. Kudos to you for hanging on, exploring it and dealing with it instead of just putting up a retaining wall like so many of us do.
Despite the challenges and frustrations, it's amazing how you have the insight and intelligence to recognize so much of their behaviors (primarily, your mom's behaviors) for love and caring. Yes, possibly a messed up way of showing love and caring, but it's great that you can see that's what it is.
Wow, Ernie, these are great insights, thanks for this!